Totally Surprised

I had performed this important function for an assortment of people in a variety of places. I cannot recall anyone ever doing it for me while I was at work (see A Broken Parakeet). I am an advocate of this because I’ve seen it work. What am I talking about? The answer is “prayer” (see Pray Continually).

On Wednesday, as I am giving my standard welcoming salutation at the glass “produce” doors, I got in a quick conversation with a mom and her three teenagers (Two females and a male). She was from a local church in town starting with the letter “z.”

When asked if there was anything I needed immediate prayer for, did I come up with some big important item? Of course not, I had already been standing for several hours as a greeter. The only thing to come to mind was for my feet to stop hurting.

I accepted this rapid invitation to a few moments with the Heavenly Father on my behalf. I profusely thanked the lady as they progressed to other parts of the store to shop. Actually, my feet did feel much better.

The next day I mentioned this incident at my Thursday morning men’s group (see Masculinity at its Best). The group agreed with my wife when I told them my wife felt the whole shopping experience for a customer was set by the tone established by the door greeter.

One of the men in the group and a personal friend, Crandall (see Anger at the Almighty), challenged me by saying a speedy prayer for every passing through the portals I attended. Only time will tell the difference it will make.

I put the same call to arms for intercession with the Almighty that was given to me. Find a particular location where you attitude needs a major adjustment. Give it a week. See how much God changes the deep places of your heart. Are you game for this simple opportunity for growth.

Brace Yourself

Braces have the ability to make crooked teeth straight, which can affect the self-esteem of the individual receiving them. Orthodontist Dr. W. Charles Buchsleb, II, wants people to “smile with style.”

Take just a few seconds to think of all the emotions a smile can convey-love, joy, confidence, concern, uncertainty, affection, evil-just to name a few in this wide spectrum of feelings.

The good thing about a smile on the outside is that it eventually affects how one feels internally. It’s a natural law that if you act like you are happy, your emotions eventually follow.

If you don’t believe me, try it on your worse day, and see what happens. Proverbs 15:13 (MSG) says, “A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face; a sad heart makes it hard to get through the day.”

So the next time you smile at someone whether it is at work, home, or in-between, think about what you are conveying and how it makes you feel (deep down inside) to convey that message to those around you.

The positive non-verbal note your face can be giving out could be a life-changer for someone. (It might even be the difference between life and death.) With practice, “smile with style” can become more than just a clever saying by advertising firm for an orthodontist. It can (and should) become a way of life.

One More Time

Some of you might recall “Cleo” from my work that I turned in for prejudice comments (see Open Mouth and Insert Foot). Did you ever wonder what happen with my complaint? I discovered on the same day of this incident that it conveniently got lost. My guess is to protect Cleo’s employment.

As with the previous post, Cleo was in rare form at 9am in the employee break room. On the TV was a female discussion panel of four women of various ages and body types. The program title had the word “real” in it. The topic was female body image.

Cleo’s first unacceptable comment came out something like this (referring to one of the thinner women on the panel) “She doesn’t want to be that fat girl.” The next remark was made to a co-worker close to the TV screen. He was told something resembling “sit in front of the fat girl so I don’t have to look at her.”

Once again I kept my mouth shut, but I was fuming. I left before my break was over. This time I planned on going to his supervisor. I don’t hold irritation very well. I become flushed on my face and rather large and menacing. I went to several employees trying to find the right person.

One employee made this comment, “That’s just Cleo.” No one seemed to be surprised he was the employee I named. Translation: “Cleo has always gotten away with whatever he wishes to say. We are OK with him offending others even though this store has a 0% harassment policy.”

Eventually, I gave my account to the right person, and documented on paper this incident, and the prior one on paper. If I had to be the catalyst in changing stuff like this, so be it. I had at one time given Cleo the benefit of the doubt with being a bigot. With this second occurrence, I was convinced that he was prejudice.

Once I was calm enough to be back at the general merchandise door to greet, Cleo found out about my talk with his supervisor, and tried to come over to smooth things out.  (As angry as I still was this was a poor move on his part.)

His conversation consisted of tell me that I was taking this whole thing out of context. The translation for this means, “I’ve been caught and could lose my job. Please don’t take this any further.”I told Cleo I knew exactly what he’d meant with his words 

Cleo explained he had no problems with large women. He had a female relative that was one. I explained my wife was a former large woman. I would never say those kinds of things to her. Why would you do that?

By this time, I knew my former complaint on Cleo had never been filed. I asked Cleo why he’d made the negative comment about the guy on the talk show. His answer just showed his outright stupidity. He believed anyone in Hollywood deserved to be made fun of.

Two customers later in the afternoon were memorable after my fiasco. An older woman in an electric wheel chair with a violet fisherman’s cap (had no use of her arms) needed to pick up a pair of café curtains.  Before we found the right product with the correct color and a “coffee” design, I helped to adjust her right arm correctly for comfort.

A Hawaiian gentleman with tattoos asked me about elephant ear plants. My brain only heard “elephant ears.” Away we went to the pet section for dog treats (lots of pig ears on the shelves). Eventually things got clarified, and we walked over to the Home and Garden center. This customer did not find what he was looking for, but both of these shoppers seemed to be pleased with the personal attention I gave them.

By now you know life is full of the good (sunshine) and the bad (rain). Always do the best with what your lot is in life. If something is important to you, stand your grounds no matter the personal repercussions. You can’t feel good about whom you are unless you make was is valuable to you a priority.

Coming Attractions

Anyone who knows me is aware of how proud I am of all the weight my wife, Bobbi, has lost as a result of her bariatric surgery on 8/27/14 (see My Three Wives). She is a changed person (on the healthier side) forever. Both her diabetes and asthma are gone, and joint pain is at the bare minimum. To see her before and after, check out the pictures on the post Metamorphosis.

I am in the beginning stages to see if I would be a good candidate for weight loss surgery. My diabetes doctor is in favor of this because my diabetes is not as much under control as it should be.

Some people might say that if I can go from 365 pounds to 329 as a result of exercise and the dietary change our whole family when Bobbi had her surgery, I should be able to lose those excess pounds with a lot of prayer and will power.

Why get this drastic? My desire to consume both good and bad foods is an evil thing. It resembles a spoiled child. If the desire is not met correctly, my want for it comes back even stronger. I believe the only way I’ll ever get control of it is through this permanent lifestyle change.

I have always believed knowledge is power, but in this case I wonder if I know too much. If I allow myself to, fear could take over easily. I am assured that an empathetic Bobbi will be with me every step of the way as she mothers me into complete recovery.

There are some things that I do remember with my wife that could be my lot in the distant future. There is the caring for and healing of the incision and drain whole wound. The ingestion of daily protein is important in keeping hair growth. The diet in recovery transitions from liquid to semi-solids to solids. My wife’s appetite is quickly satiated with the small amount of food she eats. One is not allowed to eat and drink at the same meal (because this eliminates the nutrients your body needs). In the area of sweet stuff “diet, no sugar added, and sugar free” become a welcomed way of life.

Each pill (of those still being taken) must be swallowed ten minutes apart (so the body can ingest them all). Slow sipping of beverages is encouraged as opposed to mindless guzzling. Instead of us eating two separate meals; Bobbi takes a small amount from me when we eat at a restaurant. Eventually after reaching one’s final goal; there’s all the loose skin to deal with.

 Clothing is constantly becoming too big; meaning one has to shop a lot more. (Is that good or bad?) I think the “thin Bobbi” gets more positive than the older version of her did. Would this make a difference in the self-esteem issues connected to my appearance?

No more eating for a small family of four (until I was about to pop). I hear many weight loss patients have less joint pain After watching my wife work at maintaining this new standard of living; I realize that most people who don’t succeed at this method of body remodeling have stopped following the established rules.

Very few things in life happen without some sort of growing pains of either the physical or emotional kind. If you are reading this right now, I am asking you to stop and say a prayer for me as I see where all this leads to. (I’ll take whatever you got.) I’m also counting on you to make small step to just one of your goals. With God’s help I know we can both be successful beyond our wildest dreams.

Out of Control

It was a Saturday. I had just returned home from a four hour shift as a greeter with a car fool of groceries. I have had many opportunities to assist people with their needs among the usual ones were the direction of the bathrooms, customer service, carts, and Easter candy. I was able to find out for one woman (through the assistance of my local library) that Easter Lilies are toxic to cats (and not dogs).

Another customer was having issues with a bird pecking dents into her car. I told her my family bird story (see For the Birds). We went to both the pet and seasonal departments looking for solutions. She left with nothing but the library phone number with which she could possibly get assistance from Audubon society.

My wife came out to help me with the groceries. She reminded me that the cosmetic woman (“Margie”) from the lady’s event at church was here. Once the groceries were in my adult daughter gleefully tells me, “I’m going to be a make-up consultant.”

At that point, I wish I had remembered Proverbs 14:29 (MSG) “Slowness to anger makes for deep understanding; a quick-tempered person stockpiles stupidity.” Though I should have been happy in this step of maturity for Allena, instead I was quite irritated at that moment. Several options lay before me, I could make my displeasure know to my family privately after Margie left, or display my anger to everyone present (including our visitor).

I chose the less mature option. My loud five minute tirade (as a red-faced devil) left me looking foolish, my dog Lola running for cover, and the other three people in the room embarrassed and cringing. (The only thing receiving physical abuse later after Margie left was the tube of toothpaste I threw in the direction of my room.)

My wife feels my angry outbursts are a neurological effect from my brain surgery in 2009 to find the type of cancer I had. My blatantly honest mother disagreed, and says I’ve always been that way.

Later after I calmed down, Margie graciously accepted this text apology below (via Bobbi). “I am so sorry for my scary outburst today.  I do want my daughter to succeed. I have lived with Allena all her life. I know her unsuccessful starting tendencies. I don’t want her to be hurt by this. Today, I felt like my daughter was going off a cliff. I had to do something drastic.”

I am writing this on Easter morning 2015 (before church), and have just had a heated disagreement with my family on something extremely stupid. Who is allowed to let off flatulence in the home? Who cares? Maybe I need to take my own advice. So think before you yell. What are the after effects? Have you considered other options in making your point known?

The Calling of Robert

In the middle of Food Network’s cooking competition show, Chopped, my wife asked me a very profound question. “Have you ever thought how easier our marriage might have been if you had done what God told you to do a long time ago?”

We both knew what she was talking about. In my late twenties at my home church (see Church by Choice), I had felt a stirring in my soul to further that being a pastor might be the right calling for me. I had talked to a minister about it, and was told to do as I felt God was leading me.

Like so many people do, I managed to talk myself out of it. I’ve told myself the profession is too difficult, I’m not pastor material, this scares me, and the list could continue on into eternity. I cannot express to you throughout the years the multitude of people that have either told me I should be a pastor, or am I currently one.

To further quiet Bobbi’s line of questioning, I chose to reply with another question. “Are you ready to be a pastor’s wife? Don’t you think if I wasn’t meant to do this, God would give you the calling to?” The answer to the first question was “no.”  I only got silence to the second question.

Sometimes I am disgusted by my fear and weakness. I can be extremely bold when it comes to advising others on what they need to do in their own life. It’s not so easy when the finger is pointed at me. At this stage of my life, I seriously doubt if a pastor is a career choice I’ll ever make. All my excuses could go to the moon and back. Unlike me, listen to the first time God lays something on your heart. It makes life so much easier and happier.  

The Roller Coaster

How far would you be willing to sacrifice for someone you love? On the New York Life Insurance commercial, two parents make the ultimate sacrifice for their teenage children. They prepare to go on a roller coaster with them. Whatever was being said about insurance, I missed most of it.

I kept looking at the horrified faces of these parents knowing what was about to happen any minute. I did manage to catch the last line. It said, “You can never go too far for the ones you love.” I couldn’t have expressed it any better.

When was the last time you went completely out of your comfort zone for a family member or friend? Did you feel good about yourself for making this personal contribution? Would you ever do it again?

Sometimes making time to chat with someone who is depressed can become a life changing moment for them when it cost you very little. Personally delivering a small, inexpensive gift, or taking care of a needed home repair chore are two great ways of making it known you are present for someone when they need you.

Bigger gestures of money are always needed and appreciated, but I personally believe it is the small gestures of kindness that speak the loudest in our hearts. You can never go wrong in being a modern-day Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-37). Going out of your way to do good for others will make your heart joyful as well, and cause pride in the heart of the Almighty for your attitude of care for those He dearly loves (Mark 12:31).