In
the middle of Food Network’s cooking competition show, Chopped, my wife asked me a very profound question. “Have you ever
thought how easier our marriage might have been if you had done what God told
you to do a long time ago?”
We
both knew what she was talking about. In my late twenties at my home church
(see Church by Choice), I had felt a
stirring in my soul to further that being a pastor might be the right calling
for me. I had talked to a minister about it, and was told to do as I felt God
was leading me.
Like
so many people do, I managed to talk myself out of it. I’ve told myself the
profession is too difficult, I’m not pastor material, this scares me, and the
list could continue on into eternity. I cannot express to you throughout the
years the multitude of people that have either told me I should be a pastor, or
am I currently one.
To
further quiet Bobbi’s line of questioning, I chose to reply with another
question. “Are you ready to be a pastor’s wife? Don’t you think if I wasn’t
meant to do this, God would give you the calling to?” The answer to the first
question was “no.” I only got silence to
the second question.
Sometimes
I am disgusted by my fear and weakness. I can be extremely bold when it comes
to advising others on what they need to do in their own life. It’s not so easy
when the finger is pointed at me. At this stage of my life, I seriously doubt
if a pastor is a career choice I’ll ever make. All my excuses could go to the
moon and back. Unlike me, listen to the first time God lays something on your
heart. It makes life so much easier and happier.
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