The Unborn

It was Sunday, November 8, 2015, at around 12:30pm. About an hour before we’d left Eastside Community Church where we’d heard the newest installment in Pastor Kelly’s uplifting sermon series called, “Your Kingdom Come” (based on the “Lord’s Prayer” as given in Matthew 6:10-13)

Since Bobbi would be going to work at her part-time cashier job at Lowes’ later that evening it made sense to do our weekly grocery shopping at Aldi’s while were already out.

Since it would not be a smart idea for either one of us go shopping for food while we were both ravenously hungry, we stopped at a nearby tavern for lunch.

We walked in and seated ourselves at a booth. Our perky waitress “Helda” showed up immediately. She was in her twenties, petite, sported a brunette pony tail, glasses, a decorative paisley scarf (around her neck), brown leggings, and wore a rather bulky double short sleeve shirt (of white and tan).

Soon I was enjoying my diet Coke, onion rings, and a Hangover Burger, which included a beef patty, fried egg, chili, garlic fries, cheese, bacon, and a bun.

I wondered if this delightful sandwich could have tasted any better if I was actually drunk. The thought of this happening scared the life out of me. It had never happened yet, but who knows what I’d do or say if it did?

As her husband, I knew Bobbi would not be having anything to drink. She would only eat part of her veggie quesadilla as a result of her smaller stomach from her bariatric surgery in 2014.

With the lifestyle change she’d made, eating and drinking at the same time was taboo. (The reason is that the beverage fills the stomach up too quickly, and in the process washes away valuable nutrients from the limited amount of food that is being consumed.)

I looked over to Bobbi and asked, “Our waitress has a little bump on her belly. Do you think she’s pregnant?”

With irritation in her eyes she replied, “Please don’t embarrass us both by asking her that question. It is not right to ask a woman about that subject. Most of the women I know have been very hurt by that question when they weren’t pregnant. What about the women that really want that to happen, but for whatever reason can’t conceive.

When I was younger I got asked that all the time. It was always an embarrassing moment when I had to inform a stranger that I was not expecting.”

Since I was 99.9% sure Helda was, I chose to ignore Bobbi’s advice and satisfy my curiosity when our waitress dropped off our lunch check. I smiled and boldly asked, “So when are you expecting?”

Her two word reply made me want to crawl under the table in shame. “I’m not.” I quickly apologized, and I was assured all was well.

Bobbi looked at me like I was an idiot (which didn’t speak well to her credibility in marrying me). “Why did you do that? I hope you’re happy. Helda is nowhere in this big room. She’s probably in the back crying her eyes out (or talking about us) because of your insensitive comment.

Please listen to me the next time. I’m a woman I know these things. Even if you are 100% sure there is a lady pregnant find something else to talk about.”

Proverbs 31:10-11, 18:22 (MSG) says, “A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it…Find a good spouse, you find a good life-and even more: the favor of God!”

For almost twenty-three years (as of November 13, 2015), Bobbi Lynn (McFarlen) Kinker has been my best friend. She repeatedly proves her love for me through the good and bad times of our marriage.

If I listened to her advice more (instead of my own), life situations like the one just described above wouldn’t get so messed up so badly by me. As a family man, I often falsely believe that I “know best.” Bobbi always waits anxiously in the background (ringing her hands) waiting for me to do what I must do as I eventually come back to the reality of planet Earth.

It is made known to me in no uncertain terms what the best way is to handle a difficult situation. Honestly, I’ve never known my wife’s advice to lead me astray. Men, if you have a good wife that cares for and loves you, take this moment to thank God. You have discovered something that enriches you as a guy, is rare, and is extremely valuable.