The Two Sides of Robert

According to the one woman I dearly love (my wife, Bobbi), she got two men for the price of one when the matrimonial knot was tied on November 13, 1993. The “nice” Robert is the man she fell in love with, and wanted to start a family with.

Occasionally, the “mean” Robert makes guest appearances. If this side (not multiple personalities) of Robert could be banished from the Kinker household, he would be put out with the weekly trash. It’s anyone’s guess which one is present on any given day.

The “nice Robert” is giving, loving, non-argumentative, finds his adult daughter entertaining, is concerned about the well-being of the family (including the Chihuahuas), creative (with limits), and loves the things of God. (He usually makes very quick visits to show his existence.) This side of my personality reminds me a lot of a sunshine and daisy-filled meadow full of fuzzy, frolicking puppies. It may make for a charming picture, but very few people can remain this way personality-wise for their entire life. Though the “nice” Robert big guy, he comes off as a gentle giant.

The “mean” Robert sometimes visits for several weeks at a time.  This side of my personality is cranky from hunger, sleep deprivation (nap alert), or needs a romantic romp in the sheets (with Bobbi). At these times, I am obsessive, have no patience with almost everybody, blunt (and opinionated), makes emotionally-based decisions, and uses screaming (as an easy problem-solving alternative).

I am irritated by almost everyone I come in contact with, and attending church turns into a drudgery instead of something I do with joy (as a gift to God).  

The “mean” Robert could be likened unto getting two flat tires in a winter rainstorm on a narrow country road at night. It’s cold, wet, dark, and you aren’t in the mood to deal with this problem. (Is this picture so unpleasant to you that it makes your whole face pucker?) The “mean” Robert is an intimidating ogre with his face and ears turning fiery red whenever he is extremely angry.

Anyone who knows and loves me (unconditionally) has met both Roberts. Both sides of me can be charming and interesting (at times). Whether it is agreeable or not, I am a combination of both of these personalities. Like all of us, both the good and bad make us the memorable characters we are today.