Membership Privileges

On July 29, 1996, (at approximately 8pm) the life I thought I knew was radically changed by the arrival of a much anticipated daughter the wife and I named, “Allena Desire’e Kinker” (after my middle name Allen). Membership to the Father/Daughter Club doesn’t happen to all men. God only allows it to the select few men that can deal with it (at least 95% of the time).

I’ve discovered that raising an adult female (the job is never done) is much like being in a canoe without paddles. You know you’re going somewhere, but the final destination is often out of your control (so you just as well enjoy the trip).  Bringing up a daughter can be a thin tightrope between love and irritation.

Among the positives of membership are:

1.   At times a father realizes just how lucky he truly is to positively influence his daughter’s life.  The love in your chest for her (and the pride in her accomplishments) almost leaves you breathless at times. (Of course when you see your not-so-great qualities reflected in her actions, it makes you wonder if she has a chance in life. The wife strongly encourages you to take action immediately.)

2.   Only absolute love could make a grown man go to a grocery store (or pharmacy) to pick up female sanitary supplies for the daughter that means the world to him.

3.   Discussions with your daughter in private have revealed a much deeper person than you originally anticipated.

4.   When your daughter is out of the house (whenever that is) her bedroom will be converted to the library you’ve always wanted (but never had room for).

5.   You can’t remember a time when your daughter was not part of your life. (Your world and your life are better because of her.)

Among the negatives of this membership are:

1.   Drama (which you inadvertently become a starring player in) comes in the forms of girlfriends and the boys she’s dating (You’re scared because you are certain of what they want, and it don’t fill you with joy).

2.   You’re baby girl (now a woman) drives on major freeways by herself to get to college, work, and boyfriends. She gets distracted as easily as you are frightened for her safety. There are no warm, fuzzy feelings in you.

3.   You can’t quite figure out why your daughter willingly chooses to live in the trash dump you call her room. Her cleaning it doesn’t seem to last for very long.  (You’ve harped on her cleaning it so much that the excuses, for why it’s not done, no longer surprise you.)

4.   You wonder how an iphone can become an additional vital appendage to her body. (Are talking and texting really that important in the scheme of life?)

5.   When did your daughter’s social calendar become busier and more important than yours?

6.   The only male that will consistently enter her bedroom (as long as she lives with you) has big pointy ears, five teeth, is the size of a toaster oven, has four legs, and is covered in hair with a wagging tail. (The two of them discover her room to be a favorite place to chill out for hours away from the rest of the family.)