I Will

“Resolution One: I will live for God. Resolution Two: If no one else does, I still will.” (Jonathan Edwards)

The tradition of making New Year's resolutions goes back over 4,000 years to the ancient Babylonian festival of Akitu. During this 12 day celebration, the Babylonians would celebrate the rebirth of the natural world. They would plant crops, crown a new king (or reaffirm the power of the reigning king), make promises to their gods, and pay back their debts. Here's where the New Year's resolutions come in. The Babylonians believed if they kept their promises to the gods, they would stay on the gods' good side, and if not, they would fall out of favor.

In 153 B.C., the Roman Senate declared that January 1st would signal the start of the New Year honoring the god Janus. Because Janus was said to have two faces, he could look forwards and backwards at the same time, symbolizing the end of the previous year and the start of the New Year ahead. However, it took over 100 years for this to take effect. Julius Caesar made it official around 46 B.C.E. Romans would make promises to Janus about their behavior for the next year.

During the middle Ages, knights would renew their vows to chivalry by placing their hand on a live or roasted peacock. The "Peacock Vow" was an annual contract taken at the end of each year (a resolution to uphold the values of knighthood). Modern New Year’s resolutions became *a thing* in the 19th century. The first recorded use of the phrase "new year resolution" appeared in a Boston newspaper in 1813.

Each January, around 40% of the country makes New Year's resolutions. New Year's resolutions don't make much sense. You can make resolutions anytime during the year. So why has January 1st become the only day for official goal setting? Why are resolutions important? Consider the following reasons:

Goals give us meaning-Goals give life meaning through purpose. Purpose is the deeper reason for why we want to accomplish a goal. Behind the stated goal ("I want to get a Ph.D. in psychology…") is our desire to do something to improve our lives and the lives of others ("…so that I can contribute to the fight against mental illness."). Purpose is what motivates us and moves us to take action.

Goals keep us connected-Goals keep people connected. Common goals are the foundational block upon which we build communities. From families to sports teams, from small start-ups to large corporations, and from social movements to entire nations, the success of a group depends on how much its members believe in a common goal. 

Goals mean clarity-Goals provide you with a vision and a direction. They give you a destination and enable you to plan your course into your future. Without goals you risk wasting your resources (time, money, energy) feeling confused and overwhelmed, and being unprepared when opportunities arise. 

Goals mean progress-In every aspect of human life; we achieve progress through setting goals. Goals are what drive advances in science, education, medicine, public policy, law, and government. Progress in all these fields happens when people set, pursue, and achieve goals. If there are no goals, there is confusion. Confusion can delay progress. 

It’s how things get done-From things like getting up for work in the morning to once-in-a-lifetime dreams like seeing the Great Wall of China, things get done because we treat them like goals that need to be accomplished. 

It’s the language of the brain-One of the most important functions of the brain—and the most recent in terms of our evolution—is executive function, a cluster of cognitive abilities that evolved to enable us to set and achieve goals. This brain function is what sets us apart from all other living things. Most other creatures react based on instinct; we take action based on planning.

The alternative is the default-Without suggesting that we should plan out every minute of our lives, think about what your default is: What do you do when you are not working toward getting something done? Is it a productive or enjoyable default? Is it something that you later regret like binge-watching a TV show and reading Facebook posts? 

They make us feel good-They literally do. As neuroscientists learn more and more about the emotional circuits of the brain, they are discovering that one of our most basic emotional reactions is happiness through pursuit. Being actively engaged in the pursuit of a goal activates the brain’s pleasure centers, independent of the outcome. It seems that we derive more pleasure from chasing our dreams than from achieving them. Could that overused adage about the journey and the destination have an actual biological substrate?

 Anyone who has ever set a New Year's resolution knows how hard they are to keep. No matter how good your intentions are when you establish them, it's tough to get changes to stick. Trouble keeping a New Year's resolution is a common phenomenon. 23% of people quit their resolution after just one week. Only 19% of individuals are able to stick to their goals long term (two years or longer). Here's why many New Year's resolutions don't work:

Lack of planning-A little planning ahead goes a long way toward making good habits stick. You have to answer tough questions like, "Will I have to wake up earlier to go to the gym?" or "How am I going to stick to my budget when my friends invite me out for dinner several nights per week?" Anticipating challenges and identifying solutions is important to long-term success.

Mistakes are bound to happen when you're working on a resolution. In fact, a study from the University of Scranton shows that people who are successful at sticking to their long-term resolutions tend to slip up (defined as the re-emergence of unwanted behavior) at least 14 times. A whopping 71% of individuals said their mistakes actually strengthened their desire to reach their goals. Planning ahead can help you figure out how you'll recover from those mistakes. And that's an important part of preventing a misstep from turning into a permanent failure.

No self-monitoring-Monitoring your progress is important to creating lasting change. Otherwise, how do you know if you're on target? Simply assessing your improvements on a regular basis can be enough to keep you motivated. For example, a 2015 study published in the Journal of Medical Internet Research found that fitness apps can motivate people to get more exercise.

Tracking activity levels can help people overcome perceived barriers to exercise. All those excuses you're tempted to make might go out the window when you're monitoring your progress. So whether you use an app that tracks your spending or how long your runs are, there are many ways you can monitor the steps you're taking.

Not looking at what has to be given up-Everything you add to your life means you have to give something up. We often only focus on what we're gaining, and forget to look at the things you're leaving behind. How are you going to handle these uncomfortable feelings (or the awkward conversations when you have to say no to things you really want to do)?

Before you commit to changing your habits, recognize what you will gain from the new habits. Think about what you'll need to give up before you make the change. Simply acknowledging this ahead of time — and developing a plan to deal with the change — can help remind you that it is worth the price you're going to pay.

Not ready to change-Those end-of-the-year activities often bring pressure to declare how you're going to change your life. Many people set a resolution based on what they think they should do rather than what they actually want to do. You have to be ready to change your life if your habit changes are going to stick.

While some people's readiness for change happens to coincide with January 1st, most people will find the timing doesn't quite work out that way. Just because most resolutions fail doesn't mean your resolution can't last. If you're prepared for the reality of the challenge and you're willing to put in the hard work to make it happen, you can make your resolution stick this year.

Overconfidence-While many people worry that lack of confidence will kill their chances of reaching their goals, overconfidence can be even more detrimental. When you're convinced your goal is going to be easy — and you conclude you're overqualified for the job — you'll likely find yourself unprepared and ill-equipped to face the reality of the situation. Change is hard.

Acknowledge that it's tough to delay gratification and push yourself when you're tired. Saying it's going to be difficult to stay on track doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're being realistic. Recognize that you have weaknesses and that you're going to struggle, and you'll be more emotionally prepared to meet your goal.

“I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. I think if you want to change something, change it today and don't wait until the New Year.” (Georgina Bloomberg) [i]

---

[i] Sources used:

·        “5 reasons why most New Year's resolutions don't stick, according to a psychotherapist” by Amy Morin

·        “8 Reasons We Really Do Need to Make Resolutions” by Theo Tsaousides

·        “The History of New Year's Resolutions” By Kate Dwyer

 

This topic was suggested by Jan Bahr, friend and blog member.

Refuse

"Refuse to let small, petty people distract you from your big purpose." (www.LiveLifeHappy.com)

Someone that is petty takes something that is small and makes it something big to a ridiculous extent.  Maybe someone stepped on your foot, and you wonder whether or not they did it on purpose. Perhaps someone said something uncomplimentary about you on Facebook, and you go back and forth with them for hours over the issue. Maybe you want to ruin someone's life because they gave you a mean look. Do you enjoy when something terrible happens to your enemies? Do your enemies even know that they are your enemies, or do they think they are your friends?

If any of these things apply to you, then you just might be petty. There is another interesting aspect to being a petty person. If you aren't one, then you probably think that being petty is an awful thing to be. If you are petty, you probably would never want to change in a million years. Why? Because being petty is fun. If you don't believe me, just ask someone that is petty. Don't be surprised if they throw something at you as they respond. Below are ways to deal with pettiness:

Be mindful when to say “yes”-On the other hand, there are times when it’s not only good to agree to a request from another, it’s also the right thing to do. In order to decipher the valid request from the one that’s not in your best interests, only a selfish one from another, you must be mindful. Use discretion, keep an open heart and use your thoughtful ability to determine when to say yes. You’ll know it was the right thing to do when you feel good about your actions afterward.

Find what interests and excites you and do that more often-You can walk outdoors in nature, see and hear the birds, notice differences in the plants, trees and shrubs in the changing seasons. While the exercise is good for your body, it’s also beneficial for your mind. You will feel at peace and in tune with nature. If something has been troubling you, or you’ve found yourself being mean-spirited, judgmental and petty, you will let it go during your walk. Other interests could include movie watching at home (or in a theater), gardening, cooking, travel, and eating out at favorite restaurants.

Keep in mind that you only live in the present, so let go of the past-Remembering slights and perceived wrongs of the past are not conducive to living life joyously. Not only is it impossible to go back and act differently, remaining mired in the past affects what you do in the present. It’s a losing situation. Besides, when you realize that the only time you have to live is now, and that what you do today has wide-ranging effects on your ability to live a purposeful and satisfying life, you’ll be more likely to give up past grudges and forget the petty judgments you made about others that stand in your way today.

Nurture compassion-Petty, judgmental people have limited compassion for others. They’re too busy making everything about themselves to care about what’s going on with anyone else. Yet, a bit of self-centeredness is normal, especially if you’re in the process of healing or mourning. Even then, showing compassion helps you heal. The best takeaway is that you can nurture compassion, primarily by becoming aware that the needs of others deserve recognition and attention.

Practice loving kindness  (to others and yourself)-Being kind, doing something for another without any expectation of something in return is good for the cultivation of selflessness. It’s also good for personal well-being both because it takes you outside your problems and focuses elsewhere. You can practice loving kindness on yourself. If you’re over-stressed, finding it difficult to decide, haven’t gotten enough sleep or have been eating poorly, are lonely, depressed or in need of companionship, making you the recipient of loving kindness can help transform your well-being.

Recognize when you judge and act petty-Do you sometimes find yourself thinking you’re better than your co-worker, neighbor, relative, friend or a certain demographic? This is both judgmental and petty and will never serve you well. Are you peeved that the cashier didn’t give you the change in the denominations and amounts you wanted? Feeling disgruntled that someone else is wearing the same outfit as you — and they look better? Granted, these thoughts may pop into your mind, yet you needn’t allow them to remain. Acknowledge the petty and judgmental thoughts and let them go.

Rein in your pride-When you’re too proud to give in, you’re doing yourself a disservice. Excessive pride is different than justifiable pride in a job well done, or the pride you take in your children, your accomplishments in life. Pride that’s detrimental is that which clouds your ability to think objectively, that deludes you into thinking that you’re better than others or more deserving. While we’ve all likely had our moments of being too prideful, by noticing when this negative trait occurs it’s possible to rein it in before it has a chance to do harm, like adding to pettiness.

Remember all souls are the same in the eyes of the Creator-No one is inherently better or more superior than anyone else in the world. Each of us starts off the same in the eyes of God. Indeed, we have been bestowed incredible human gifts, the ability to think and make decisions, to act in free will, to use our talents and skills to achieve our highest potential.

Whether we make use of our time on earth to maximize our potential or squander opportunities to do so is entirely up to us. Some may have more access to opportunities than others, or be hampered by a dysfunctional childhood, live in poverty or wealth, deal with a handicap or cope with an illness or disease, while others seem to have everything going for them.

 Still, we are all members of humanity, and therefore are interconnected. In that, we are all the same. We would be wise to keep this in mind as it may temper some of our judgmental and petty tendencies.

Start saying “no” more-Someone asks you to do something that you know you don’t have time or energy for, or perhaps tries to guilt you into accommodating their request knowing you’ll probably give in and do it. This will likely lead to hard feelings of crabbiness you cannot afford, especially if others know you’re a soft touch who lacks the ability to refuse requests. It takes backbone and practice to start saying “no” more, yet this is exactly what you must do to stave off inclinations to pettiness.

Think about the big picture. What bothers you today won’t matter tomorrow-It’s tough to see past slights and disappointments and perceived mistakes and failures today. It’s also difficult to get past overconfidence when everything is going your way. The truth is that nothing lasts forever, and that includes whatever bothers you today. Keep things in perspective, meaning, think long-term instead of being fixated on yesterday. If you think you can’t do that, try remembering what it was that irked you a month ago. Most likely, whatever it was no longer matters. In the grand scheme of life, only significant moments stand out. That’s as it should be.

 “Never get into the petty habit of measuring yourself worth against other people's net worth.” (Robin Sharma)[i]

---

[i] Sources used:

·        “11 Signs of a Petty Friend” By Edel Rimando 

·        “How Petty Are You?”  by Brian Whitney

·     “How to cope with petty people” by Rosie Leizrowice

·         “How to Stop Being Petty and Live Life Joyously” By Suzanne Kane

 

Creatures

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.” (Dale Carnegie)

Confronting someone is not easy, mostly because humans tend to complicate the situation. Either we get angry, aggressive, over-explain the problem, or don't quite have the facts straight. There is always a simple recipe to use in confronting people that leads to a peaceful resolution. All too often, people avoid conflict or deal with it in an ineffective way. Such approaches only make conflicts worse.

If you follow God’s call to confront people without offending them, you can resolve conflicts, strengthen relationships, and grow personally in the process. How would you handle these examples so as to not permanently damage a relationship?  A husband that won’t help his wife with household chores; a spend thrift woman that’s constantly trying to borrow money from her friends; a boss with an anger problem who alienates his employees; and a grandmother who’s tired of being asked to babysit her grandchildren so often that she doesn’t have enough time to herself.

 At some point in life, almost everyone will be required to confront someone about an issue. It could be about many different possibilities. The key to using confrontation is to help and not hinder. Here's what to do to confront people the right way:

Aim for a goal-Before confronting someone, clarify what you hope to achieve through the confrontation. Retaliation should never be your goal. If you have a vengeful attitude, confess it and ask God to cleanse your thoughts toward the person you want to confront. Aim to use a confrontation to resolve whatever issue is causing conflict between you and the other person.

Consider what specific outcome you’d like to see result from the confrontation – having someone stop a negative behavior, start a positive behavior, or make some other change – and keep that goal in mind when you confront the person.

Confront whether you’re the offended or the offender-God wants you to try to resolve conflict through confrontation whether someone else has offended you or whether you’ve offended someone. If you’ve been offended, don’t repress your feelings; that will only lead to bitterness that will poison your soul and express itself in unhealthy ways in your life.

If you’ve offended someone, remember that it’s your responsibility to take action toward reconciliation. Work to overcome excuses and defensiveness no matter what the situation. Be willing to confront to try to work out the issue. God has given you a mandate to initiate reconciliation whether you are the offended or the offender.

Understand different conflict management styles-Dictators handle conflict by charging, commanding, demanding, directing, imposing, mandating, ordering, proclaiming, ruling, calling the shots, and laying down the law. Sometimes that style is necessary because moral values are at stake or the common good is being threatened. But often, dictators need to focus more on hearing and valuing other people’s input.

Accommodators handle conflict through adapting, adjusting, conforming, indulging, obliging, pleasing, or accommodating to other people’s needs and desires. Accommodators are good at listening, which is a key skill in working through conflicts. But they need to learn to set boundaries to let others know that their negative or insensitive behavior toward them is not acceptable.

Abdicators handle conflict by retreating, bowing out, quitting, stepping down, separating themselves from situations, dropping out, walking away, abandoning, resigning, surrendering, or yielding. But by running away, abdicators make it impossible to resolve their conflicts. They need to express their needs through “I” statements that tell others what they feel when they experience the behavior that’s causing the conflict and explain what they’d like to see happen.

Collaborators deal with conflict in the healthiest way, through cooperating, joining forces, uniting, pulling together, participating, and co-laboring to find a way to resolve the issue. Consider what style you tend to use the most, and think and pray about how you can better work with others as a collaborator. Do you need to be more respectful of authority, value other people’s input more, or communicate more clearly? Try to choose the collaborator style as often as possible when managing conflict.

Prepare for the encounter- Before you confront someone; first be honest about why you’ve decided to confront him or her about the issue. Do you have an ulterior motive (such as trying to make the person feel guilty) or do you want to see a genuine change in behavior? Remind yourself that your goal should be to resolve a specific issue for God’s glory.

Choose the right time and place for the confrontation, and try to make sure that you talk with the person when you all can be alone instead of in front of others. Pray to prepare your heart and mind before the confrontation.

Own the problem. Speak on your own behalf, explaining how the problem has affected you personally or how you perceive the issue rather than shifting the attention to other people’s perspectives. Take responsibility for expressing your own thoughts and feelings clearly and directly to the person you’re confronting. Speak the right words. Pray for the wisdom to choose the words that will help you most effectively communicate with the person, and for the peace you need to deliver those words in a calm tone of voice.

Describe specifically what you’ve observed or experienced, since being too general will make it easy for the person to deny wrongdoing or misinterpret your message. For every negative statement you need to make while discussing the issue at hand, try to make a positive statement affirming the person’s worth and your commitment to the relationship both before and after making the negative statement.

That will help the person know that you are rejecting his or her behavior, but not him or her as a person. When you criticize, do so constructively, giving the person information to help him or her solve the problem and being careful to preserve the person’s dignity. Listen to the person with an open mind. Admit your own mistakes. Work with the person to find mutually agreeable ways to move forward.

Listen well-When you listen, you create an environment where the person you’re confronting feels that he or she has been heard and his or her thoughts and feelings have been validated. That will motivate the person to try to resolve the conflict with you. Try to fully understand the person’s intentions and objectives rather than jumping to conclusions. Verify facts before making accusations. Explain your own actions when the person has questions about them. Ask questions to clarify what the person is telling you; then paraphrase what you think the person has said to make sure you understand correctly.

Decide to forgive – Try to work out a mutual agreement on how to move forward after the confrontation. But keep in mind that the only behavior you have the power to change is your own. Determine how much you’re willing to compromise without violating your core values or self-respect to achieve harmony. Let your gratitude for how much God has forgiven you motivate you to obey His call to forgive those who have offended you.

Despite your feelings rely on God’s help to do this by trusting that your feelings will gradually change in the process. While your decision to forgive should be immediate, restoring trust in your relationship with the offender is a process that may take a long time. For true restoration to take place, the offender must first repent and show consistent behavior that gives evidence of his or her change of heart. However, whether or not the person who has offended you ever apologizes or repents, you must forgive him or her to obey

God’s call and free your soul from the poison of bitterness. If you’re having difficulty choosing to forgive someone, pray for that person, and God will help you become more willing to forgive. After you choose to forgive, stop rehearsing the offense in your mind. Leave it in the past and focus on your future.

Get to know various temperaments-Understand your own temperament and that of others influences how each of you naturally communicate. Figure out the needs, fears, preferences, and propensities toward certain behaviors that come naturally to yourself and other people. Keep that in mind to devise strategies with each person to improve the way you interact with him or her. 

“Being happy doesn’t mean you don’t have issues. It just means that you’re working on them.” (Oliver Queen)[i]

---

[i] Sources used:

·        “Confront People without Offending Them” by Deborah Smith Pegues

·        “How to Confront Someone in 5 Easy Steps” by John Brandon

·        “The Secrets of Confronting Without Offending” by Phil Cooke

 

Thor

“You don't need to worship Jesus to say ‘Merry Christmas’ any more than you need to worship Thor to say ‘Have a nice Thursday.’” (Somee Cards)

Christmas can be a cultural rather than a religious holiday. This does not mean that there are no religious elements to Christmas. On the contrary, there are many religious aspects to Christmas. This is what we should expect from a cultural holiday because religion is an important aspect of culture. In fact, significant portions of Christmas celebrations today don't originate in Christianity at all.

No one celebrates every possible aspect of Christmas. Some hang mistletoe, some don't; some drink eggnog, some don't; some have a crèche, some don't. Everyone has traditions which are more meaningful than others, and most create some of their own "traditions." The result is that everyone picks and chooses certain aspects of Christmas to celebrate and others to ignore.

If you want to celebrate a secular Christmas, just ignore the religious options. It’s sometimes easier to get people to accept an ideology if they are told that it's "tradition" and the way things used to be rather than the truth. Christmas can absolutely be celebrated in a nonreligious way.

Charitable Donations and Volunteering- Except for attending church services, donating money or time to charities is the one activity which could be the least secular because so many charities are religious. This doesn't mean that charity is exclusively religious, though. You can celebrate Christmas in a charitable manner without giving anything to religious charities - there are secular charities out there if you look. You can donate your time or money to a charity of your choice without feeding any religion.

Christmas Parties- There are probably more parties going on during the Christmas holiday season than at any other time of the year (except maybe Halloween). There is also nothing intrinsically religious about Christmas parties. In fact, many parties which occur in offices and schools are entirely secular because of the religious diversity of those who attend. If you're looking for an excuse to have a party, this is as good as any.

Christmas Shopping- The least religious aspect of Christmas is probably the one which involves the most time, effort, and money: shopping. There's nothing the least bit Christian about Christmas shopping, so if you're someone who actually enjoys the sights, sounds, and smells of shopping at Christmastime, you can do so without wondering if you're just giving in to popular religious celebration. By participating in the commercialization of Christmas, you're helping to diminish its religious aspects.

Decorations- People spend a lot of money to decorate their homes for Christmas. Although there are lots of religious decorations out there, you can also find plenty of secular decorations. So if you like decorating the house generally or just occasionally for the sake of change, you have lots of non-religious choices: Santa, reindeer, evergreens, lights, mistletoe, etc. Secular decoration options are abundant precisely because there are significant non-religious aspects to Christmas.

Family Gatherings at Christmas- Large numbers of people have family gatherings during the Christmas holidays. Since so many people have time off during these holidays, it's a good excuse to visit and spend time with family. Although many go to church as a family, there are plenty of things people can do as families that are completely secular: dinners, gift exchanges, ice skating, or holiday shows. You could make the Christmas holidays an annual family reunion to strengthen familial ties.

Food- The Christmas season has developed an entire line of foods — mostly sweets — that only appear during this time of year. Little, if any of it, is religious in nature, so celebrating this time of year with special foods and meals is an inherently secular activity. Food might not seem like much of a celebration, but getting together with others to make and enjoy food can be very important socially, emotionally and psychologically.

Gift-Giving- The most popular Christmas activity is exchanging gifts, and it doesn't have to be abandoned to have a secular Christmas. There's nothing about Christmas presents which is inherently religious or Christian. The only way for the gifts to have any religious meaning is if you personally invest them with one. The gifts are simply of the sort which you might give other times during the year.

New Year's Celebrations- The Christmas holiday season isn't just Christmas, but also New Year's. People have lots of parties and family gatherings around this date as well, and it's even more secular than Christmas. There's nothing at all religious or Christian about it. There are lots of ways atheists and non-Christians can celebrate it without any references to traditional Christian activities.

As an atheist, I have no problem when Christians tell me ‘Merry Christmas.’ It’s a sentiment of good will. People need to get over themselves.” (Whisper)[i]

---

[i] Adapted from: “How to Celebrate Christmas if You're Nonreligious” by Austin Cline

The Source

Guard your heart above all else for it is the source of life.  (Proverbs 4:23, CSB)

This verse is not referring to the physical heart that is pumping blood throughout your body. It is referring to the inner, spiritual person. The heart is your authentic self—the core of your being. It is that part of you that makes you, you. It is your inner being where your dreams, your desires, and your passions live. It is that part of you that connects with God and other people. The heart is mentioned over 900 times in the Bible. God wants to get your attention about its importance.

Before you can do something you have to think about it. Your thoughts lead to attitudes. Attitudes lead to actions. Actions lead to achievements. It all begins with the thought life. Your achievements will be the sum total of your thoughts. When God gets ready to change someone, how does He do it? God changes the thought process. God made you where you can’t think two things at one time. If you’re thinking what’s right, you cannot be thinking what’s wrong. When God is in the heart, then we think right, live right, and do right. When God is absent, we think wrong, do wrong, and live wrong. Here are seven ways to guard your heart:

Cultivate an Atmosphere of Community-When we are adopted as sons and daughters of the one true King, we come into a family and are sent on mission. This involves people. There’s no way to follow Jesus in isolation. It flat out doesn’t even make sense. If Jesus says by following Him, you’ll be a part of the Church and you’ll make disciples (that does not translate to) just have your personal isolated relationship with me and you’ll be fine.

We need people. We need community. Your heart needs people constantly pouring into you, and you need to be pouring into people. There’s a constant flow coming in and out as you love and serve others. People need to hear about Jesus and you need to grow in the Lord with your family that you’ll be with for all eternity.

Follow What the Lord Is Leading You to Do-Everyone is different. We all have different skills and desires and that’s a good thing. God has made us different, intentionally. He calls us to follow Him in so many different ways. Some of us will be pastors, teachers, stay at home moms, musicians, mechanics, writers, or baristas. What is God asking you to do? What do you desire and just can’t stop thinking about? How do you want to serve the Lord with that desire? Chances are that’s the thing God is calling you to do. Trust Him and go for it! The longer you quench that desire, the more strain you are putting on your heart.

Keep Priorities High and Do Not Compromise-There’s wisdom in keeping our priorities. Of course, those need to be the right priorities to begin with, but nonetheless keeping them is a big deal. What can happen (and its happened for me many times) is that we let the day dictate our priorities instead of our priorities dictating the day. God, our family, work, and so on is an example of an order of priorities to keep throughout the day. What we might be tempted to do is to lower one throughout the day or elevate one too high.

God might be the last thing on our list (we may not say that, but the way we live declares that), or we might elevate our children to “god status.” Yes, we love and serve one another, but not to the extent of compromising the priorities and values the Lord has given us. Once you make a little compromise here or there, you begin to add toxicity to your heart. The good news is that if you keep them, your heart will grow in wisdom.

Persevere In The Face of Difficulties-Difficulties are going to happen in this life. They have to. That’s the product of a sinful world filled with sinful people. It’s not a coincidence that God lines out multiple things for you to do while following Him. Reading the Bible, praying consistently, sharing the Gospel with others, and spending time in solitude with God are just some of these. There will be times that you don’t feel God’s presence or feel like He is listening to your prayers. Persevere. Trust that He is always completing a good work in you. Believe that the Lord will prevail, in all things. As you persevere, you will continue to grow in Godliness and your heart will be strong.

Protect Everything That Comes In-Everything is competing for our time, money, and resources. Just turn on the TV or go anywhere and you’ll quickly be hit with anything and everything that wants your attention. Music, videos, books, language, power, money, and pride are just some of the many examples. We need to use wisdom in what we allow into our hearts. We only have a limited time each day to make much of God, so what are we being influenced by, listening to, or looking at? Train your eyes to look away from lust. Listen to wisdom instead of foolishness. Protect yourself from harm’s way and a culture that is anti-God and replace it with things that are Godly. Your heart will then remain protected.

Trust the Lord with Rest-We live in a culture that is so fast paced, chances are you might have spent about 30 seconds on this page, and then you’ll be off to the next one. Productivity is elevated above all else and people are praised for getting things done. While we run around like crazy, we often forget this is bad for our hearts. We are also telling God we don’t trust Him in the process. When we rest in the Lord (including taking a full day off), we are declaring our dependency on Him.

We are admitting we can’t do life on our own. If you think about it, your body needs sleep for a third of the time you are even alive. Not only that, how do you think you fall asleep or even wake up in the morning? That’s only because of the Lord. Whether you need to start observing the Sabbath, or just need to take a deep breath and let the Lord do the work instead of you, be encouraged to trust Jesus and rest. Let your heart rest.

“Stop giving your heart back to the hands that broke it expecting them to repair it. It’s not worth your time to continue to invest your feelings into somebody who’s clearly unworthy of your love. It’s impossible to create the relationship you want from someone who’s not ready to give it to you.” (Rehabtime.org)[i]

---

[i] Sources used:

·        “5 Ways to Guard Your Heart” By Roger Carr

·        “7 Ways to Guard Your Heart” by Mike Mobley

·        “How Do You Guard Your Heart?” by Sophie McDonald

·       “How to Guard Your Heart” by Adrian Rogers

 

Unending

“What if you got the flu and it never left? What would your life be like?” (Siddhealer)

Everyone feels fatigued at times. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) isn’t just about being tired. It’s a new state of fatigue that can be so severe that it gets in the way of your normal daily activities at home and at work. You tend to awaken almost every morning feeling as if you did not get enough sleep. A major problem with CFS is that people who have the condition sometimes feel like no one believes them. They’re often told it’s all in their heads.

You can have trouble concentrating and multi-tasking. When you stand upright from a sitting or lying position, you can feel lightheaded, and your heart can beat rapidly.  After you are on your feet for a while, you can feel terrible, and need to lie down flat. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is also known as Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME/CFS). It tends to cycle through flare-ups and remissions, good days and bad days. Although on the good days, you are not back to normal. There isn’t any known cure, but different treatments can help the symptoms.  Below are more need-to-know facts about CFS:

 Fatigue isn’t the only symptom of CFS- We’re not talking about a general feeling of sluggishness. We’re talking about a type of fatigue that gets worse after physical activity or mental exhaustion, and that isn’t alleviated with bed rest. And there are many other symptoms that accompany this exhaustion, including muscle pain, cognitive impairment, unrefreshing sleep or insomnia, post-exertional malaise, enlarged lymph nodes in the neck or armpits, frequent sore throats, headaches, and difficulty fighting infections.

CFS is often difficult for doctors to diagnose-There’s no lab test or biomarker for the disorder, nor are the severity, number, and type of symptoms the same from person to person. And because people receive a CFS diagnosis only after their doctors rule out other medical conditions — like anemia, an underactive thyroid, sleep disorders, or kidney and liver problems — the diagnostic process can take a long time. If your fatigue has lasted longer than six months in a row and is accompanied by several of the symptoms listed above, it’s possible that you may have CFS. An estimated 84 to 91 percent of people with CFS haven’t been diagnosed yet.

Some people are more likely to have CFS than others-CFS is four times more common in women than in men. Though the average age of onset is 33, CFS can affect people of all ages. This disorder affects all walks of life. Patient as young as 3 years old have been treated for CFS. CFS can also be seen in members of the same family. (That seems to suggest there’s a genetic component to the illness, but more research needs to be done to confirm this connection.) Finally, trouble managing stress may also contribute to the development of CFS.

Like many “invisible illnesses,” CFS often comes with a social stigma- Many people simply don’t understand the disorder, so they may think that those living with it are faking it, or that the illness is not as bad as the person makes it seem. It’s not uncommon for people with CFS to have to limit the amount of work they do, and the social activities they once enjoyed. Some are even temporarily bedridden. So it’s no surprise that that people with CFS often feel isolated and depressed. It’s important to remember that the disorder doesn’t define you. It’s not who you are.”

There is no cure for CFS-Since researchers are still trying to understand the nature of CFS, no specific treatment has been found. That doesn’t mean that there’s nothing you can do to alleviate your symptoms. Doctors should develop an individualized treatment plan for you, which ideally will have a medical team that can include rehabilitation specialists, mental health professionals, and physical or exercise therapists. Scientists are still trying to pinpoint what causes CFS. Some experts think that multiple triggers may bring it on; infections, immune disorders, stress, trauma, and toxins have all been studied as possible culprits. No single cause has been identified as being the most likely one.

Lifestyle changes can help-Though there is no cure for CFS, certain behavioral changes can also help alleviate your symptoms. Getting a good night’s sleep (ideally eight to nine hours per night) is important as inadequate sleep can worsen symptoms. Eating a well-balanced diet and exercising can also help prevent CFS symptoms. A strategy called “pacing” or scheduling activities in an appropriate manner is useful. Many people living with chronic conditions find that the more they can plan their lives (which they may not have had to do before) the easier it is. They can still manage to get things accomplished in a more measured way. Don’t underestimate the power of a strong support system. Be more willing to ask for help. It doesn’t mean you can’t work or do the things you love to do. It just means doing them differently.[i]

 “Fatigue is different [from being] tired. When you are tired you know that after some rest, you will feel better. Fatigue is when you need a rest after taking your morning shower.” (Notsorosy)[ii]

---

[i] Not all foods provide the long-lasting energy for a CFS person needs. When it comes to CFS, it’s important to look at what you shouldn’t eat. Here are foods to eliminate from your diet:  caffeine, sugar (sweeteners), fried foods, white rice and pasta, alcohol, and hydrogenated oils.

 

It’s important to keep moving with regular walking. It will keep you active and strong. Just remember to pace yourself. Pushing too hard can cause you to feel worse. Try these types of exercises: hand stretches, sitting and standing, wall push-ups, and picking up and grasping objects. Start with two to four repetitions and work your way up to eight at the most. As the exercise becomes manageable, gradually increase the time you do it. Aim for an increase of about 1 to 5 minutes.

 

[ii] Sources used:

·        “10 Essential Facts about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome” By Ashley Welch

·        “5 Foods to Avoid if You Have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome” By Rosemary Black

·        “Tips for Living with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome” Reviewed by Anthony L. Komaroff

·        “What is Chronic Fatigue Syndrome?” by WebMD