Someone that is petty takes something that is small and makes it something big to a ridiculous extent. Maybe someone stepped on your foot, and you wonder whether or not they did it on purpose. Perhaps someone said something uncomplimentary about you on Facebook, and you go back and forth with them for hours over the issue. Maybe you want to ruin someone's life because they gave you a mean look. Do you enjoy when something terrible happens to your enemies? Do your enemies even know that they are your enemies, or do they think they are your friends?
If any of these things apply to you, then you just might be petty. There is another interesting aspect to being a petty person. If you aren't one, then you probably think that being petty is an awful thing to be. If you are petty, you probably would never want to change in a million years. Why? Because being petty is fun. If you don't believe me, just ask someone that is petty. Don't be surprised if they throw something at you as they respond. Below are ways to deal with pettiness:
Be mindful when to say “yes”-On the other hand,
there are times when it’s not only good to agree to a request from another,
it’s also the right thing to do. In order to decipher the valid request from
the one that’s not in your best interests, only a selfish one from another, you
must be mindful. Use discretion, keep an open heart and use your thoughtful
ability to determine when to say yes. You’ll know it was the right thing to do
when you feel good about your actions afterward.
Find what interests and excites you and do that
more often-You
can walk outdoors in
nature,
see and hear the birds, notice differences in the plants, trees and shrubs in
the changing seasons. While the exercise is good for your body, it’s also
beneficial for your mind. You will feel at peace and in tune with
nature. If something has been troubling you, or you’ve found yourself being
mean-spirited, judgmental and petty, you will let it go during your walk. Other
interests could include movie watching at home (or in a theater), gardening,
cooking, travel, and eating out at favorite restaurants.
Keep in mind that you only live in the present, so let
go of the past-Remembering
slights and perceived wrongs of the past are not conducive to living life
joyously. Not only is it impossible to go back and act differently, remaining
mired in the past affects what you do in the present. It’s a losing situation.
Besides, when you realize that the only time you have to live is now, and that
what you do today has wide-ranging effects on your ability to live a purposeful
and satisfying life, you’ll be more likely to give up past grudges and forget the petty judgments
you made about others that stand in your way today.
Nurture compassion-Petty, judgmental people have limited compassion
for others. They’re too busy making everything about themselves to care about
what’s going on with anyone else. Yet, a bit of self-centeredness is normal,
especially if you’re in the process of healing or mourning. Even then, showing
compassion helps you heal. The best takeaway is that you can nurture compassion, primarily by becoming aware
that the needs of others deserve recognition and attention.
Practice loving kindness (to others and yourself)-Being
kind, doing something for another without any expectation of something in
return is good for the cultivation of selflessness. It’s also good for personal
well-being both because it takes you outside your problems and focuses
elsewhere. You can practice loving kindness on yourself. If you’re
over-stressed, finding it difficult to decide, haven’t gotten enough sleep or have been eating
poorly, are lonely, depressed or in need of
companionship, making you the recipient of loving kindness can help transform
your well-being.
Recognize when you judge and act petty-Do you sometimes
find yourself thinking you’re better than your co-worker, neighbor, relative,
friend or a certain demographic? This is both judgmental and petty and will
never serve you well. Are you peeved that the cashier didn’t give you the
change in the denominations and amounts you wanted? Feeling disgruntled that
someone else is wearing the same outfit as you — and they look better? Granted,
these thoughts may pop into your mind, yet you needn’t allow them to remain.
Acknowledge the petty and judgmental thoughts and let them go.
Rein in your pride-When you’re too proud to give in,
you’re doing yourself a disservice. Excessive pride is different than
justifiable pride in a job well done, or the pride you take in your children,
your accomplishments in life. Pride that’s detrimental is that which clouds
your ability to think objectively, that deludes you into thinking that you’re
better than others or more deserving. While we’ve all likely had our moments of
being too prideful, by noticing when this negative trait occurs it’s possible
to rein it in before it has a chance to do harm, like adding to pettiness.
Remember all souls are the same in the eyes of the
Creator-No
one is inherently better or more superior than anyone else in the world. Each
of us starts off the same in the eyes of God. Indeed, we have been bestowed
incredible human gifts, the ability to think and make decisions, to act in free
will, to use our talents and skills to achieve our highest potential.
Whether
we make use of our time on earth to maximize our potential or squander
opportunities to do so is entirely up to us. Some may have more access to
opportunities than others, or be hampered by a dysfunctional childhood, live in
poverty or wealth, deal with a handicap or cope with an illness or disease,
while others seem to have everything going for them.
Still, we are all members of humanity, and
therefore are interconnected. In that, we are all the same. We would be wise to
keep this in mind as it may temper some of our judgmental and petty tendencies.
Start saying “no” more-Someone asks you to
do something that you know you don’t have time or energy for, or perhaps tries
to guilt you into accommodating their request knowing you’ll probably give in
and do it. This will likely lead to hard feelings of crabbiness you cannot
afford, especially if others know you’re a soft touch who lacks the ability to
refuse requests. It takes backbone and practice to start saying
“no”
more, yet this is exactly what you must do to stave off inclinations to
pettiness.
Think about the big picture. What bothers you today
won’t matter tomorrow-It’s
tough to see past slights and disappointments and perceived mistakes and
failures today. It’s also difficult to get past overconfidence when everything
is going your way. The truth is that nothing lasts forever, and that includes
whatever bothers you today. Keep things in perspective, meaning, think
long-term instead of being
fixated on yesterday.
If you think you can’t do that, try remembering what it was that irked you a
month ago. Most likely, whatever it was no longer matters. In the grand scheme
of life, only significant moments stand out. That’s as it should be.
“Never get into the petty habit of measuring
yourself worth against other people's net worth.” (Robin Sharma)[i]
[i] Sources used:
·
“11 Signs of a Petty Friend” By Edel
Rimando
·
“How Petty Are You?” by Brian Whitney
· “How to cope with petty people” by Rosie Leizrowice
·
“How to Stop Being Petty and Live Life Joyously” By
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