Monday, November 22, 2021

Finding

 “Being brave isn't the absence of fear. Being brave is having that fear, but finding a way through it.” (Bear Grylls)

Dear Fear,

We have spent many long and sleepless nights together. You made me believe in another me. This is the person that did not exist. It was built on lies like a house made of match sticks. The whispers you spoke into my earl at night I believed you as you created me.

We shared some great times together. They were great for you at least. You partied and had a fake lifestyle. It was one where you pretended to have it all together. Meanwhile, I was buried in my insecurities and self-doubt. I believed you telling me that I was worthless, would not amount to anything, and was even stupid. I thought I could change you, but in turn, you changed me. I no longer recognized the skeleton that looked back in my mirror. I was a fading image of what God had made me be.

We have grown apart, and are different now. I no longer have the same feelings I once had for you. You have become distant, and I cheated on you. I found someone else that loves me for me. They don’t try to change me or fix me. I wake in the morning without regret. Laying my head down at night, I know I have made the right choice.

Don’t shed tears for me as you knew this was coming. We have drifted apart for some time now. The late nights when you snuck in thinking I would not notice. I have finally locked the doors and changed the locks. The walls no longer hold me in. They rather are there to keep you out. You no longer live in my mind. You don’t belong in my heart.

This is my final farewell letter. We are done for good this time. I have moved on. You no longer own me. I have packed all your things, and left them outside. The pain will fade. The dependence will subside. No longer will I be held captive in my mind. A prisoner held against my will. The darkness that has consumed me has moved out.

Please do not write me back, or call me in the middle of the night.  I love who I have become without you. There is no turning back for me. We are finished. We are over. This is my final goodbye letter so take care. I hope one day you will grow up to be who you were made to be.

Sincerely,
Me

“F.E.A.R. has two meanings: Forget Everything and Run OR Face Everything and Rise. The choice is yours.” (Zig Ziglar)[i]



[i] Adapted from: “An Open Letter to Fear, You No Longer Live Here” by Charles Johnston

 



 

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