A Reflection

“Your life is a reflection of your thoughts. If you change your thinking, you change your life.” (Brian Tracy)

Has your mind ever gone into a downward spiral of negative thoughts? These would be those annoying thoughts that just won’t leave you. Those negative thoughts insist on being on front and center stage. They whisper that no matter the situation that the outcome is destined for failure. Make no mistake that these negative thoughts can be powerful. They can wreak havoc on your emotional and physical well-being.

There is a secret tool that you can use to change the way you think. It’s called “reframing.” This involves altering how you see something and then stating it differently. You are replacing your old way of thinking with a new and improved mindset. Reframing not only changes the way you see, think, and respond to situations, it also keeps your thoughts from descending into a place of impending disaster.

Five negative thought patterns and how to change them:

1.    All or nothing: This distortion means that you see things as absolutes with no uncertain margins. You believe that everything is exactly right or wrong. You think of things as a complete success or a total failure. This type of thinking sets you up for failure because it is impossible to achieve.

Reframe: Give yourself some slack. You are only human. Nobody is perfect. Learn to be okay with navigating the uncertain areas of life. Remember to be flexible. Try a growth mindset to expand your mind.

2.    Fortune telling: When you assume that you know the outcome before it happens or when you think you know what somebody else is thinking, you are attempting to predict the future by reading minds. The problem with this type of thinking is that the assumptions are usually wrong.

Reframe: Start assuming positive outcomes. If you imagine yourself being successful or imagine that others are thinking positively about you, you are more likely to have a good outcome. When you picture a negative outcome, it will often keep you from trying. You cannot predict someone’s future so try being positive and brave.

3.    Magnifying: When you draw conclusions that are not justified, based on limited information, you are overgeneralizing. You are making something big out of something insignificant by overreacting to a minor issue.

Reframe: To reframe this negative thought pattern, focus on the big picture in life. Goal setting is one way to do this. Move on and realize that you have the power to change and do better. Be able to make mistakes and forgive yourself.

4.    Personalization: This is the feeling that people around you are behaving the way they are because they are reacting to something that you did. You may be taking things too personally.  This is unhealthy thinking because these thoughts cause you to blame yourself for things that have nothing to do with you.

Reframe: Realize that just because something happened near you doesn’t mean that it had anything to do with you. You are not the center of the universe. Not everything is related to you. Consider that you may have nothing to do with other people’s reactions.

5.    Stewing: Dwelling on thoughts is a common distortion. When you repeat negative thoughts or a bad experience over and over in your mind, you begin to lose sight of the positive things around you.

Reframe:  Recognize when an intrusive thought is taking over. Become intentional about stopping the thought. Replace the thought with cheerful thoughts. Come up with a list of things that make you joyful. Start a journal of blessings, and refer to it often.

 

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” (Albert Einstein)[i]

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[i] Adapted from:

·       “One Tool That Can Change the Way You Think” by Raychelle Cassada Lohmann

·       “5 Ways to Reframe Negative Thoughts” by Confident Counselors