“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” (Thomas A. Edison)
Honestly, I don’t know of anyone who is a big
fan of failure. Whether failure happens in your personal or professional life,
it can often be embarrassing, emotionally painful, and have a negative effect
on those that mean the most to you. There are many people in history that we
can thank for their important contributions (that happened from never giving up
after failure).
Read the quote above again. How different
would your world be without electricity? Whether you consider something a failure
depends a great deal on how you view the process (that you believe caused the
failure). Eric Christian said: “If you didn’t succeed, it’s just as
important to keep in mind that there has never been a success story without
failure and lessons along the way.”
Many of the blog
members know that from 1994 to 2002, my wife, Bobbi, and I had nine pregnancies.
We miscarried eight of them, and had one spirited daughter we named, “Allena.” Her name is taken from my middle name of “Allen.”
At the beginning of this time period I was 30, and Bobbi was 28. At the time
these miscarriages felt like a big failure on my part (even if they weren’t’) as
I couldn’t figure out why God was allowing this to happen (to both of us).
I didn’t feel like was fair. We were never
able to have a sibling for our daughter. There will never be a male child to
pass on the Kinker name. It dies with me. Bobbi and I believe the eight
miscarriages happened as a result of not allowing Bobbi’s body to heal after
each miscarriage. Allena was conceived as a result of the fertility drug,
Clomid, which did not work a second time for us. Bobbi’s miscarriages happened
at her work, while visiting me at my work with Allena, and a falling down our
apartment stairs. (She even had a tubal pregnancy.)
With the wisdom
of time and age, I see this experience of “failure” differently now. I do not
believe my heavenly Father allowed this painful experience to happen because He
didn’t love Bobbi and me (but out of a sense of honor and trust). Both
of us were members of an exclusive “club” we didn’t want to be in. God knew of our desire to try to help others. Our heavenly Father was certain that we would not waste this precious
experience (in helping others going through it). Both men and women deal with
this differently in their own time period. (However long that takes.) We have
both done our best to be faithful to this personal conviction.
Chances are that
right about now that you feel sorry for us, but wonder “How does apply to me?”
Life won’t always be fair. You will fail at important things in your life. Eloise Ristad is quoted as saying: “When we
give ourselves permission to fail, we, at the same time, give ourselves
permission to excel.” The most
valuable experience you have in life may come as a result of failure. It may
literally change the path of your entire life.
Wallowing in
your pity won’t really accomplish much of anything. You may be entitled to
fully immerse yourself in the sorrow of your misfortune. Unfortunately, a lot of people won’t care what
you’re experiencing. They will expect you to act like a kind human (no matter
what’s happening). Process your pain (and disillusionment) as you need to, but
allow God to use everything (good and bad) for His glory. Whether you succeed
in this challenge is up to you. I know you can do this (with God on your side).[i]
[i] The topic of “failure (and getting back up)” was
suggested by friend and blog member, Marisa Sbana.
No comments:
Post a Comment