“Don’t allow yourself to become one who, nearing death, regrets what you might have done if only you had taken a few risks. We each have a purpose in life.” (Gillian Stokes)
Regret has
both a negative and a positive to it. Without the use of a time machine (has
that been invented yet), no one has the ability to go back and correct
something perceived as a mistake in the past. It is possible to wallow in the
bad memory of how a challenging situation was handled, and to make you feel
only worse.
There are
some things in the past that are unchangeable, but many things have the
opportunity to be restarted. An example of this might be going back to college
to get your degree to obtain a better job in your company. I do my best not to
live with regrets. My choices in life have made me who I am today. (Aren’t you
glad?) If I’m not careful with my thoughts, I can find myself playing the “what
if” game, which usually leaves me angry and depressed, which is not a good
attitude on me. For the purpose of this
post, I would like to take the time to dig out of my memory the few regrets I
do have:
When I went to college for my
degree (Bob Jones University in Greenville, SC), I wish I would have had the
knowledge I do now as an older man. I would have majored in Journalism instead
of Elementary Education. The flip side
of this discussion is if I had taken a teaching job or worked as a journalist
at a newspaper; I might not have met Bobbi (or eventually gotten a daughter
named “Allena.”) Being both a husband and a father, are two experiences I’m
glad I didn’t miss out on. Though I could return to school, I have no interest
to do that at this phase of my life.
Bobbi and I got talked into an
expensive (debt-incurring) church wedding. I wish we’d have gotten married at
our local court house as we originally planned. (We would have been no less
married with a cheaper wedding than a fancy one. The two of us could have had a
celebration party later.)
I wish Bobbi and I could have
given Allena a brother. God prevented this from happening with our eight
miscarriages. I think it would have been a positive thing for our daughter to
not always feel so alone. (Bobbi and I were not always the best of playmates.)
Though some part of the Kinker name will be passed down through Allena and her
lineage, I would have loved to pass on the Kinker name just a little bit
longer. I am it. If Bobbi and I ever had a son, we already had a named chosen.
It was “Brice Matthew Kinker.” Brice is
the name of a major road in central Ohio. My late younger brother’s middle name
was Matthew.
No one is
perfect in this life. We will all make mistakes (and have misgivings at times).
Philippians 3:12-13 (ERV) tells us the correct
mindset to have throughout our life. I don’t mean that I am exactly what God wants me to be. I have not yet
reached that goal. But I continue trying to reach it and make it mine. That’s
what Christ Jesus wants me to do. It is the reason he made me his. Brothers and sisters, I know that I still have a
long way to go. But there is one thing I do: I forget what is in the past and
try as hard as I can to reach the goal before me. The question is “How are you living your life in
regards to your regrets?” Take the time you need to learn from both the good
and bad. Be the best you can with no doubts.
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