It’s not easy loving an unlovable person, is it? To love one another is easy when others are kind and good. When a friend or family member’s terrible habit irritates us, or they do something hurtful toward us. Our love for them can be tested. Each of us is precious in God’s eyes, but we are also fallible and very human. We all can be hard to love sometimes. I’ve found that people usually need love the most in those moments when they deserve love the least.
To love the unlovable is a
challenge. It’s even a skill. Regardless of the difficulty, it is a necessity.
It comes with much patience and prayer. I’m challenging you to love the
unlovable, regardless. Do you know of a person you really don’t want to love?
Maybe their rude or mean, and give you all the reasons not to love them. Don’t
let anyone else determine who you need to be as a strong, devoted, and
loving child of God.
Hurting people in the world need our
love not our judgment. They need our support, not our condemnation. It’s impossible to judge someone and love
them at the same time. Here are a few principles to keep in mind when it
comes to loving the unlovable. If you’ll apply these to your relationships, I
believe you can be part of changing someone’s life in a moment when they may
need it most:
Balance tough love with
compassion-When someone we love is in a self-destructive cycle and
they’re a potential harm to themselves or to others, there may be times to show
tough love. Depending on the circumstances, this may require interventions or
even legal action, but make sure you motives are always driven by a deep and
abiding compassion for the well being of everyone involved.
Don’t quit on them and
don’t let them quit on themselves-The Bible
teaches that there is nothing we could ever do that could possibly separate us
from God’s love (see Romans 8:38-39). God calls us
to have that same limitless love for others. It’s a love that’s not based on
our own strength. It’s made possible only because of God’s strength. Once someone
realizes that you’re going to stick with them no matter what; it can
transform their perspective and their life.
Don’t treat people the
way they treat you. Treat people the way God treats you-The
character of God is to give love to unlovable people. All of us have been
unlovable people. His love causes all love to be possible. The more you love
you love God. The more you embrace His love and grace in your life. The more
capacity you will have to give love and grace to others.
Expect nothing in return-This
part is really hard because we want everything we give to eventually be
communal, but that’s not always how love works. If you do good only to those
who can repay you, that’s not called love. That’s called networking. Real love
requires a willingness to serve someone even when they are in no position to
repay you. Jesus did that for us and He calls us to do it for each other. Luke
6:32 (TPT) says: “Are you really
showing true love by only loving those who love you back? Even those who don’t
know God will do that. “
Invest into people at
strategic low points-Every financial advisor will tell you that if you want to
maximize your investment on a stock. You need to invest when the stock is low
not when it’s high. There’s risk in investing at low points, but risk is just a
part of life. When it comes to “relational investing,” I believe this same
principle holds true.
If you want to maximize your positive impact
in someone’s life, don’t invest into the relationship only when the other
person is on top of the world (high points). Give them your best when their
“stock” is low. Serve them when they have no way to repay you. Be willing to
rush into their pain and tragedy when everyone else is rushing out. You’ll be
part of changing their life while also building a lifelong bond in the
relationship. That’s real love.
“To love means loving the
unlovable; to forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing
the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.” (Gilbert K. Chesterton) [i]
[i] Sources used:
·
“5 ways to love someone who is acting unlovable” by Dave
Willis
·
“5 Ways to
Love the Unlovable in All of Us” by Maureen Pratt
·
“5 Ways to Show Love to the ‘Unlovable”’ By T.M. Gaouette
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