The term Compassion Fatigue has been used
to describe the negative effects experienced by caregivers, service providers,
and other employees in certain high-stress fields resulting directly from
repeated exposure to traumatized victims. If you see a friend that is struggling or in pain, your first instinct is likely to help them in any way you
can. Other symptoms include headaches, digestive problems, feeling overwhelmed,
and irritability.
On
average, it takes about 7 attempts before a person fully leaves an abusive relationship, and
it is never as easy as “just leaving.” However, unhealthy relationships often affect more than just the
people involved. So, what happens when you start to feel emotionally exhausted?
In most cases, a simple way to
alleviate Compassion Fatigue is by taking a step back and making sure you’re
taking care of yourself first. Not knowing how to help to take away a friend’s
pain can feel overwhelming. If you continue to feel anxious, exhausted, and
unusually detached from the people around you, then you may be experiencing Compassion
Fatigue. Here are signs to help you realize you are experiencing Compassion
Fatigue:
APATHY- It can be hard to hear a friend talk about a problem and
from your perspective feel powerless to help them. If you find yourself feeling
apathetic toward a person you know is in an unhealthy relationship, then this
may be the first sign of fatigue.
Stepping away from the situation and asking for help from a
trusted friend or counselor may be the best thing for you at this time.
Remember, your friend is likely picking up on your frustration, which serves no
one and may compound any feelings of isolation they are experiencing.
ANGER -This one can be extra tough because chances are you don’t
want to be angry at the person experiencing abuse. If you’re feeling any sort
of animosity toward your friend, this can cause a lot of internal conflicts.
Sometimes, it’s easier to get angry at your friend instead of the root of the
problem, their partner who is doing unhealthy or abusive things to them.
Just keep in mind that they are going through a lot with the
relationship. It’s ok to set personal boundaries. If your anger persists,
there’s no need to suffer in silence. Speak with a counselor to help you work
through your feelings.
ISOLATION - If you find that you are not just avoiding the person in
an unhealthy relationship, but also everyone in your life, then you may be
experiencing Compassion Fatigue. This doesn’t mean wanting to relax. What makes
Compassion Fatigue different is the feeling of being overwhelmed to the point
where you have a hard time connecting with others.
NEGATIVITY -It’s hard to try to help a person and feel like nothing
you do is making the situation better. Compassion Fatigue can amplify this
feeling by making it difficult to be optimistic about anything. If you’re a
person who is normally optimistic about life, yet find yourself having a
negative comeback for everything– pay attention. A significant negative change
in your normal behavior can be a sign of Compassion Fatigue.
FATIGUE -When you’re experiencing Compassion Fatigue, the
exhaustion is overwhelming. It’s why you isolate yourself, it’s why you’ve
stopped exercising, and it’s why you literally can’t anymore.
Here are five ways to deal
with Compassion Fatigue:
·
Connect with a friend. Pick up the phone and
have a conversation or find a time to meet in person.
·
Find opportunities to purposefully engage
in conversations about moving your life forward.
·
In your life: Find two people who
are a positive resource for you. Celebrate the silly and the irrelevant.
·
Learn to say no. Say no to working over
lunch, or bringing work home with you
·
Take care of yourself. Start small by having
your favorite beverage, take a nap, read for pleasure, write, take a walk,
listen to music, or find 5 minutes to meditate.
[i] Sources used:
·
“5 Signs
You’re Experiencing Compassion Fatigue” by Jennifer Koza
·
“Five
Steps for Addressing Compassion Fatigue” by Cathy
Krebs
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