A
control freak is someone who feels justified in attempting to
control aspects of another person’s life (or manipulates others into doing what
the controlling person wants). This person will eventually lose friends, have
many failed relationships, only hang around people they believe are controllable
(or inferior) to them. A control
freak will pressure everyone else around them to think how they think. Some
will change their ways, but most do not. The only way they change is if they
face a major loss in their life that finally makes them start to question
themselves (instead of only the people around them).
Control freaks experience
consequences ranging from constant irritability to uncontrollable anger. They’re
putting their energy into the wrong places. Rather than controlling their
emotions, they’re always trying to control the environment. In addition to wreaking havoc on your mental
health, being a control freak also wastes time and energy both of which
are finite resources. Not being in control of a given situation can feel
stressful.
When the need to dictate every
little detail of your life starts to take over, it’s time to take a close look
at why you feel like you have to micromanage everything that life throws at you,
and figure out a way to let it all go. Once you give up on trying to have power
over everything that happens in your world, you make room for all the things
you end up missing out on when you’re too busy trying to keep aware of it all. It’ll
feel like you’re breathing in fresh clean air for the first time. Below are
signs that you may be a control freak:
You
aren’t a good a team player. Joining
a team means you have to give up some control. After all, you can’t orchestrate
everything that happens when you are responsible for 10% of the outcome. When
they must be part of a team, they quickly try to dictate everyone’s behavior.
You
believe you are 100% responsible for your success. Control freaks believe with enough effort and skill they can
accomplish anything. They don’t believe in timing or luck. They often say
things like, “Failure isn’t an option,” and they are overly critical of
themselves when things don’t go as planned.
You don’t delegate. A
control freak firmly believes if you want something done right, you’d better do
it yourself. They refuse to delegate tasks because they’re convinced that doing
so will ultimately require more of their time, since they’ll have to fix
whatever mistakes someone else makes. If they do delegate, they insist on
micromanaging every step of the way.
You
have trouble maintaining meaningful relationships. No one ever says, “You know what I like about her? She’s a
control freak.” Control freaks keep people away with their demands and
unsolicited advice. Consequently, they struggle to maintain healthy personal
and professional relationships.
You
invest a lot of time into trying to convince other people to change. Most control freaks believe they know what is best for
everyone and they try to convince other people to do things differently.
Whether they lecture, become aggressive, or manipulate things behind the
scenes, they want to make other people act a certain way.
You lack compassion for people who make mistakes. Since control freaks believe success stems solely from
talent and effort, they lack compassion for those who struggle. They view
mistakes as signs of laziness or stupidity, and they think everyone should
succeed, regardless of their circumstances.
You
spend a lot of energy trying to prevent bad things from happening. Rather than prepare themselves for life’s storm, control
freaks try to prevent the storm from coming even when they can’t. They often
waste much time and energy hoping bad things won’t happen because they doubt
their ability to deal with hardship.
“Funny how you never realize you are a control freak
until things are out of control, and you freak.” (www.facebook.com/wickedhumor)[i]
Hey Robert its me. Good job on the control freak explanation.
ReplyDeleteJust a little humor - One of the classic responses from a control freak when they cant change your mind or convince you to do it their way is - Your such a control freak!