Saturday, August 3, 2019

Pretend

“Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring. So i go back to being me.” (Ain Eineziz)


Dear Sis,

Kim, as your older hyperactive brother, I would have gladly exchanged my talent for your popularity when I was a child. It shouldn't surprise you that I wasn't good at keeping friends then (or now). I realize that I'm  a loner  by nature. It's important for me as a writer so that I can create the things I do for this blog. One thing I can say about us is that people rarely forget our personalities even if they don't remember our names. We are memorable.

Did you know that I have been “abnormal” for so long that I have absolutely no idea how to be "normal" like everyone else. (One more  thing I've forgotten.) At 55, I enjoy being unique. I tend to see life differently than most people.  I always have something to discuss with any stranger I meet. I find all the things in my life leave with plenty of things to discuss with others.

I have always felt life is exactly what you make of it. I am definitely someone who sees the possibility in all that I do. I can’t tell you what an honor it is to have people that want to read what I consider important. My blog has given me the ability to speak about the topics that are important to me.

Looking back at our childhood, I’m sure I ignored the shortcomings you struggled with. Thanks for pretending to be normal for me to aspire to.  When the three of us lost Dad as teenagers, I realize at this age how hard it was to lose your best friend (at that time). I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you as much as I should have been. I was there helping one of my best friend, mom, emotionally survive this loss.

I think over the years, mom, you, and me, have learned to accept each other as we are-quirks and all. I believe the challenges that the three of us have experienced in our lives have shaped us into the “abnormal” adults we are right now. I miss Jimmy, our brother, I so wish that he could be here to grow “abnormal with us. I have to believe that God had some purpose for taking him to Heaven at such a young age. I will always love you.

Your Irreplaceable Brother,

Robert

“When you finally accept that it's OK not to have answers and it's OK not to be perfect, you realize that feeling confused is a normal part of what it is to be a human being.”(Winona Ryder)


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