Love is not
self-sustaining, but requires constant maintenance. We can often get stuck on
surface conversations but need to work hard at diving deep in to heart level
conversations. A Date Night is when a couple makes
time for themselves away from other responsibilities. The key idea is that the couple is spending time together, and
not as unstructured “family time.”
A Date Night
includes a sense of leaving the ordinary realm of daily experience. You dress differently,
go to a different place, or engage in a different activity that isn’t part of
your daily routine. Date Nights
are special, and out of the ordinary.
Date Night builds stronger marriages. Date night doesn’t have to be a big deal.
Couples time is what is important at home or doing something free. While date nights are considered essential before you get married, they should be equally important after you get married. It is easy to lose the romance of your marriage throughout the years. As married couples stop making excuses and set aside a time for regular Date Nights, marriages can become stronger and happier. Here are 5 reasons explaining the importance of dating after marriage to personal happiness, well-being, and relationship:
1.
Commitment-By
spending time together and continuing to get to know each other you can
increase your commitment. The more dates that you go on the more good
experiences you have to draw from when you go through a trial. In this way, you
can “build a reserve of love.” The actual act of making time in your schedule
and deciding where to go is an act of commitment in itself. It is very hard to
do at times, but important in growing as a couple.
2.
Communication-Spending one on one
time helps us to build communication. There are so many distractions in
everyday life that can hinder talking. Date night gives the opportunity to
continue to get to know our spouse. We can learn what is most important to each
other and work through any misunderstandings or miscommunications.
Date
night allows couples to stay current with each other’s lives as well. Many
couples are very busy with little together time. It is important to catch up on
what has been going on in one another’s life. This can help each spouse support
the other and grow together.
3.
Example-Going on dates
teaches your children that relationships are important. By seeing you go on
dates frequently they know that you care about each other and are making your
relationship a priority. This will help them as they grow up and start their
own relationships.
4.
Rekindle-Date Nights are a
time when I remember why I fell in love with my partner. If you don’t go on
dates often enough it is easy to focus on the negative attributes of your
spouse. One on one time can remind you of what life was before other added
stresses. Stress brings out the worst in everyone. This is why we need time
together that is not
stressful.
5.
Relaxation-It
is nice to have time one on one where you don’t have to worry about household
chores. It is nice to take a step back from the bills and important life
choices that are always encompassing us and take a break and have fun.
These questions can be used on your next Date Night. Take
turns answering them, and spend the time listening to what’s important to your
spouse:
1.
What is your favorite
memory as a child?
2.
What's my best physical feature?
3.
If you could change one
thing about your looks, what would it be?
4.
What is your favorite memory of us dating?
5.
Which of your parents
are you most like?
6.
What are your top 3 strengths?
7.
What's a new hobby
you'd like to try?
8.
What was the first thing you thought of me?
9.
If you won the lottery,
what is the first thing you would do?
10.
How would you describe your ideal day?
11.
What is something I can
do to make us feel connected even more with me?
12.
What do you think we need to work on the most in our
relationship?
13.
What can I do to make
sure you feel safe with me?
14.
What's the happiest you've ever felt?
15.
What do you want to do
when you retire?
16.
For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
17.
If you could meet one
famous person, who would it be?
18.
What's another career that you think you'd love to do?
19.
If you could go back in
time, what age would you be?
20.
Are you an optimist, pessimist, or realist?
21.
What can I do that best
says, "I love you."?
22.
In what areas are we the same?
23.
Tell me a time when you
felt really close to me?
24.
How are we different?
25.
Who do you know that
has the best marriage? And what can we do to get there?
26.
What's your biggest regret in life?
27.
If you bought a boat,
what would you name it?
28.
When did you first know you loved me?
29.
How have I succeeded in
our marriage this week?
30.
What fears do you have?
31.
What brings you the
most joy?
32.
How can I show you love this week?
33.
If you gave money to
charity, which one would you pick and why?
34.
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
35.
What things do I do for
you that refresh you the most?
36.
What's a question you've never asked me?
“My husband, Sal, and I put
date nights on the calendar once a week. I know that doesn't sound romantic,
but otherwise it won't get done.” (Sherri Shepherd) [i]
[i] Sources used:
·
“40
Date Night Questions” by Marriage 365
·
“5 Reasons Why Date Night Is
Important, Even After You’re Married” by
·
“5
Reasons Why Date Night is Important” by Daniel Dashnaw
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