When I applied for a marriage
license, all I had to do was pay a fee. There was no training, no video, and no
job description. In spite of the fact that I lacked many of the fundamental
skills on how to make a marriage work, the license was granted. There are many
men today who are unsure of exactly what God expects of them as husbands. When
it comes to husbands, there’s a notable difference between a good man and a
godly man.
A
good man makes wise decisions, is kind, and loves based on a worldly standard.
A godly man makes wise decisions, is kind, and loves based on a godly standard.
What so
many godly men are missing today is spiritual discipline. This is defined as practices,
and experiences that are designed to develop and strengthen certain qualities
of one’s spiritual life. A godly man (and husband) needs the following five disciplines
to thrive in every area of his life (as per Vince Miller):
Prayer-Prayer
is the primary discipline that men need to build. Prayer is a simple
conversation with the God of the universe. Men should be challenging towards
prayer continually because this is like breathing for the Christian man. For
most men, our prayer life is less than we want it to be. Other competing
agendas consume our mind, and before you know it we have gone days, and weeks
devoid of prayer, relying on our strength and are left feeling spiritually dry.
So this has to a constant priority for us as men, and we always have to be
encouraging men toward this.
Regular Time in the Bible-We
can never get too much of God’s truth. The truth is always found outside of us
and only in Christ. God's Word is the revelation of this. Getting small doses
of it in short readings on Sunday mornings is not enough to be “filled” with
the truth. We need to challenge men to read it, to listen to it, study it, and
pray it. And I am not talking listening to another pastor talk about their
understanding of the Bible; I mean praying it, reading it, and studying it for ourselves.
One of the great apps over the last
few years that I have pointed men to is the Daily Audio
Bible. In an app for your smartphone, Brian Hardin reads the Bible
daily to you. I have been a huge fan of listening to the Bible since I can do
it anywhere. In my bed, on a drive, and even on the run, but I think we also
need to read it, study it, and pray it. If you want to dig in deeper you should
check out Logos Bible Software, it is the
best on the market with the broadest library for studying the Bible, and I use
it regularly for my studies. If you need to build this discipline yourself try
the Men's Daily Devotional below. I think it is a great way to get men going with a
daily reading in God's Word.
Positive Spiritual Accountability-Men
need relationships with other men. Too often we don't have strong spiritual
connections with other men. Far too many men do life alone. They go the journey
alone because healthy spiritual relationships are so hard to find and creating
a structure for these relationships often new territory.
Accountability is critical. And I am
not talking about accountability only regarding things I should stop doing, but the stuff I should
start doing. When men think about accountability, they tend to think about
accountability around the things they do wrong, like their sin patterns. I
think men do need some accountability around this, but they also need some
accountability around actions that will have a positive impact on their
spiritual life. For example, I need people to hold me accountable to praying
with my wife, regularly giving to my church, reading my Bible, forgiving
myself, letting go of my anxiety by trusting in God, and things like this.
Solely focusing on the previous is not motivating for very long.
Small Group Involvement-I
think men who participate in small groups are often maturing more and faster
than other men because the previous three disciplines can be sharpened in this
environment. That is if it is led well. Men need to be involved in a Christian
community, and not just the large weekend gathering, but smaller gathering in
groups where they can discover some things about themselves and others.
Spiritual growth does not happen in isolation it occurs in a community, and men
need other men. For when they link arms great things happen. For example just
look back at what Jesus did with twelve men, and his small group changed the
world.
Personal Ministry-Christian
men who are maturing and have with right balance in their life have space for
personal ministry. Personal ministry would include things like leading a small
group, mentoring another man, teaching a class at church, mission trips,
service projects, and youth leadership. I get excited when men do this because
now they are not just receiving discipline; they are extending their spiritual
leadership with others. Some men I know need to do this and need to be pushed
to do this. Too often men wait to take this step. Become the leaders that God
wants you to be.
“The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to
your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent
as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy
beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the
jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition.” (1 Peter 3:1-4, MSG)[i]
[i] Sources used:
·
“10 Characteristics of a Godly Man: Qualities of a Godly Husband” by Justine
Mfulama
·
“5
Disciplines to Build in Every Man” by Vince Miller
·
“6 Tips for being a Godly Husband” by Pastor Joel Quick
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