Unexplainable

“Father-daughter relationship is something that I think is so unique, and it can't really be explained unless you have a daughter.” (Michael B. Jordan)

In my mind, I've always believed that I was the perfect father to my only child and daughter, Allena. The reality of my time with my daughter paints another picture. Many times my words to Allena have been both hurtful and hateful when I perceived my daughter was causing me irritation. 

Unconditional love should always be my choice during our times together. In my imperfections, I need to be a father  (and man) that loves and understands my daughter throughout her life for the special creation her Heavenly Father has made her to be.

In the near future, Allena will enter the mission field. I pray she heard the phrases below enough from me as she was growing up. I plan to say them as much as I can in this next exciting phase of her life. I want my words to be a shield that she can defend and protect herself with.
 

1.   I love you: She needs to know she doesn’t have to perform or measure up to some arbitrary standard to receive your love and approval. She should be loved because she is there, in your life.

 

2.   I will protect you: A young woman has honor and dignity, and will maintain these things if they are protected. The world would strip them away in an instant. The good father communicates to his daughter that her honor and dignity are safe with him. He will defend them (regardless of the cost).

 

3.   I will provide for you: It’s easy to get our needs and our wants confused (so this can be challenging) but tell your daughter you will do all in your power to provide for her needs. Life can throw men some strong situations. Life can be challenging and when that happens, your daughter needs to know that you’ll go without to provide for her. In so doing, you’re showing her the kind of man she should marry.

 

4.   I’m here for you: Where will she go when life closes in on her? To that place where a lecture awaits or to that safe place where a loving heart listens with sincere interest to her tangled yarn ball of anxieties and troubles? Without a word, you’re telling her that you are there, will always be there, and that you care. Every daughter needs to experience that loving silence.

 

5.   The Heavenly Father has given you many special abilities to fulfill a special purpose. Your life has meaning: Your daughter needs to hear that she is special. The Heavenly Father has created her as a unique individual who is designed to glorify Him with the many wonderful abilities that He has given to her. When your lifestyle embodies these vital messages, a daughter grows in her trust and security in you and in the Your Heavenly Father you’ve been telling her about all these years.

 

6.   God loves you: “So faith comes from hearing the message; and the message that is heard is the message about Christ.” (Romans 10:17, NIRV) Our daughters need to hear the truth from us. Their Heavenly Father loves them. We need to tell them this amazing news.

 

7.   You are a wonderful person, and I like being with you: Every good man wants his daughter to be secure, and to have a grounded self-esteem. One powerful way that this happens is when you communicate in word and actions that you want your daughter to be with you. Need to go to the hardware store? “I’d sure love it if you came with me.”

 

8.   You are beautiful: The world won’t tell her this (not without an ulterior motive). Mostly, the world will tell her she isn’t beautiful, doesn’t measure up, is too this, or not enough that. It’s never too late to start with a young daughter, an adult daughter, a granddaughter, or a niece. It’s best to begin when she’s young. Provide her with the truth. “You’re a beautiful young girl.” Your daughter needs to hear this, or she will find someone else who will tell her this. Why not make the search to hear these words unnecessary?

 “It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in Heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping.”  (John Sinor)[i]



 

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[i] Adapted from: “8 Things Every Daughter Needs To Hear From Her Dad” by 8 Things Every Daughter Needs To Hear From Her Dad

Matthew L. Jacobson