In my mind, I've always
believed that I was the perfect father to my only child and daughter, Allena. The
reality of my time with my daughter paints another picture. Many times my words to
Allena have been both hurtful and hateful when I perceived my daughter was causing me irritation.
Unconditional love should always be my choice during our times together. In my imperfections, I need to be a father (and man) that loves and understands my daughter throughout her life for the special creation her Heavenly Father has made her to be.
In the near future, Allena will enter the mission field. I pray she heard the phrases below
enough from me as she was growing up. I plan to say them as much as I can in
this next exciting phase of her life. I want my words to be a shield that she can defend and protect herself with.Unconditional love should always be my choice during our times together. In my imperfections, I need to be a father (and man) that loves and understands my daughter throughout her life for the special creation her Heavenly Father has made her to be.
1.
I love you: She
needs to know she doesn’t have to perform or measure up to some arbitrary
standard to receive your love and approval. She should be loved because she is
there, in your life.
2.
I will protect
you: A young woman has honor and dignity, and will maintain these
things if they are protected. The world would strip them away in an instant.
The good father communicates to his daughter that her honor and dignity are
safe with him. He will defend them (regardless of the cost).
3.
I will provide
for you: It’s easy to get our needs and our
wants confused (so this can be challenging) but tell your daughter you will do
all in your power to provide for her needs. Life can throw men some strong
situations. Life can be challenging and when that happens, your daughter needs
to know that you’ll go without to provide for her. In so doing, you’re showing
her the kind of man she should marry.
4.
I’m here for
you: Where will she go when life closes in on her? To that place
where a lecture awaits or to that safe place where a loving heart
listens with sincere interest to her tangled yarn ball of anxieties
and troubles? Without a word, you’re telling her that you are there, will
always be there, and that you care. Every daughter needs to experience that
loving silence.
5.
The Heavenly
Father has given you many special abilities to fulfill a special purpose. Your
life has meaning: Your daughter needs to hear that she is special. The
Heavenly Father has created her as a unique individual who is designed to
glorify Him with the many wonderful abilities that He has given to her. When
your lifestyle embodies these vital messages, a daughter grows in her trust and
security in you and in the Your Heavenly Father you’ve been telling her about
all these years.
6.
God loves you: “So faith comes from hearing the message;
and the message that is heard is the message about Christ.” (Romans
10:17,
NIRV)
Our daughters need to hear the truth from us. Their Heavenly Father loves them.
We need to tell them this amazing news.
7.
You are a
wonderful person, and I like being with you: Every
good man wants his daughter to be secure, and to have a grounded self-esteem.
One powerful way that this happens is when you communicate in word and actions
that you want your daughter to be with you. Need to go to the hardware store? “I’d sure love it if you came with me.”
8.
You are
beautiful: The
world won’t tell her this (not without an ulterior motive). Mostly, the world
will tell her she isn’t beautiful, doesn’t measure up, is too this, or not
enough that. It’s never too late to start with a young daughter, an adult
daughter, a granddaughter, or a niece. It’s best to begin when she’s young.
Provide her with the truth. “You’re a beautiful young girl.” Your daughter
needs to hear this, or she will find someone else who will tell her this. Why
not make the search to hear these words unnecessary?
“It is
admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in Heaven
for the father who takes his daughter shopping.” (John Sinor)[i]
[i] Adapted from: “8
Things Every Daughter Needs To Hear From Her Dad” by
Matthew L. Jacobson
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