Thursday, December 21, 2017

Unconditionally Yours by Robert A. Kinker (Installment One)

Note:  This post, and the two to follow are longer than what I usually write, but they will be worth your reading investment.


Was it possible this Saturday could get any more depressing? The rain was coming down in torrents. The weather had canceled the baseball game, which had been planned for right now with a couple of my good friends from school. Oh well, I could always depend on one of my friends to be available at any time with just a moment’s notice.

 

 Nine Lives and I planned on being as lazy as was possibly today. Nine Lives or “NL” for short is our large, black, furry Tabby cat. My mom and I adopted her last year from our local pet shelter. Nine Lives name was chosen because she should have died a long time ago with all the mishaps she’s gotten into.

 

 NL is a cat with a sedate meow. When NL is calm, she enjoys relaxing and lying underneath things. That could be the kitchen table at dinnertime, underneath my bed when it’s nighttime, or under our coffee table when she wants to rest from a walk around the block.

 

 Fortunately, NL will come out from under the coffee table, where she’s located presently, for a bite of her favorite cat food. NL coyly munches it, and moves back under the coffee table again within a matter of seconds.

 

 As I said before NL and I were doing some major chilling out. I was relaxing in the worn brown leather recliner in our family room. NL and I were both watching the classic movie the original The Time Machine movie. It is based on the novel by H.G. Wells. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if time travel were actually possible? Hollywood and special effects have a way of making one think anything is possible.

 

My oral report is due Monday, and I don’t have time to read the book so I hope this movie is close to the book. (Our class was given this assignment over a month ago. I admit it. I’m a procrastinator.) I wonder if I can fool Mrs. Latekin, my English teacher.

 

Mom was upstairs in her office working on her lesson plans for next week. She is one of the most dedicated third grade teachers at Oaksdale Elementary School I’ve ever known. When Mom gets focused on teacher stuff,  neither an earthquake, tornado, or fire in the near proximity could delay her from the goal of lesson plan completion.

Nothing irritates me more than someone calling in the middle of a movie with some trivial question or bit of information. I’d be willing to bet that is Lyna on the other end with some girl stuff she feels I need to know about. I wish she’d get a life. Maybe I can screen her call, and let the answering machine get it. After just four rings, the answering machine activated with the brighter-than-sunshine, pre-recorded voice of my mother.

 

"Hello, you’ve reached the Philman residents. Danny or I are unavailable to talk right now, but if you'll leave a brief message with your name and telephone number, we’ll get back to you as soon as possible.  Thank you, and have a wonderful day.”

 

"Danny, this is Lyna.  I know you're at home screening this call. I bet you’re with NL, eating popcorn, and probably watching The Time Machine for that oral report you have due Monday. I’ll never understand why you chose such a completely violent book. Is it a male thing? If I were truly your best friend, you would answer this phone right now. I need to talk to someone about an extremely important matter. All right I am hanging up at the count of three. I mean it. One, two . . ."

 

Lyna was adopted as an infant from a Korean orphanage. Doctors told Lyna’s parents they were medically unable to have biological children. Years later, Lyna’s mother was surprised to discover she was pregnant with Nancy. "Sister Lyna" (one of the nicknames I have for her) has been there for me through several major life crises.

 

When I was fourteen, my dad was stabbed at our neighborhood quick mart in the midst of a robbery. Mom and I both miss dad more than anyone can imagine. We wonder why God chose to take such a good man in the prime of his life. He had so much to offer the world, and a lot more love to give us. Lots of things still remind me of Dad. Memories of our private guy talks, our walks together in the woods, and his infectious laugh can bring back wonderful memories in an instant. Will my heart ever stop mourning?

 

Anyway, back to Lyna. We’re more like brother and sister than best friends. I feel I could trust her with my deepest, dark secrets if I had any. I better answer that phone before Lyna has a nuclear meltdown and hangs up. I think she’s just about there. "Why won't you answer the phone?" I hear her sniffle on the verge of tears. "Why are you being so mean to me? What did I ever do to you to deserve . . .?” 

"Calm down. I’m here.” I answer quite irritated. What was so important that you had to interrupt me while I’m working on my oral book report?”

 

Lyna’s pleading; sad voice went to furious, out-of-control tornado in a nanosecond. “Why didn’t you answer the phone? Don’t act like you’re busy doing homework, I know you and NL are watching The Time Machine on TV. You are not going to ignore me like this.”

 

"Listen, Sister Lyna." I replied calmly. "I don't care if you're dad is the mayor of Oaksdale, Ohio, and a pastor. You can’t boss me around whenever you please. You are not my mother so stop acting like it. Ok?"

 

"All right," she replies gruffly.

 

 "My important news is that Krisman’s is having their big pre-Christmas sale and its only September," Lyna blurted out with surprise. "I finally got that sky-blue Vicaldo's cashmere sweater I’ve been dying to own. At half off, it was a steal.”

 

These female things really bore me to the point of snoozing. Of course, that sweater would complement perfectly those beautiful blue eyes of hers that mesmerize me. Why was Lyna so surprised about the sale at Krisman’s? It happened at about this time every year, rain or shine. Our local newspaper had been advertising the sale for the last week. I wonder what took her so long to notice.

 

"Great," I said with a false enthusiasm. "I bought you a little surprise at the sale just for being such a great friend."  

 

"That's so sweet of you. Tell me what it is? You know how I can’t stand surprises.”

 

 "If you want your present today, you'll have to meet me at the Pizza Palace just inside the Twelve Oaks Mall at 3 pm sharp.

 

I thought about the velvet box that lay on my bedroom dresser. The little brooch was fashioned after a Star of David. This star was similar to the one that led the magi to the boy Jesus.  The six tiny color gems and gold coating on the pin were fake jewels.  This was the best my hardware- store salary could afford.  

 Money goes through my fingers like water. That’s probably why I feel so poor all the time. Of course, I could have bought Lyna an old coin for her coin collection from that fantastic antique shop over in Lacy. Mom would have had to drive me there, and that’s about ten miles away.

 

Anyway, Lyna's got enough coins from all those interesting places where her family vacations at every summer. "All right, if you insist," Lyna answered despondently

 

 "Anything interesting been happening in your household since we talked to each other Thursday night?"

 

"Yes, that little pain in the butt known as my sister, Nancy, has been watching an animated show from Hulu called The First Christmas. I love to hear and watch the Christmas story from the Bible. Thirty times in two days is past my point of reasonable patience.  My younger sister hogs the family TV so no one else can use it. It makes me so angry."

 

"Isn't there another TV in your parent’s bedroom?"

 

 "Yes, but that's not the point. I like to use the one in the great room."

 

 "Let's change the subject. Did I tell you last week that Nancy kicked me in the shin for no good reason."

 

 “See what I mean? She’s horrible. If she doesn't get out of this second grade brat stage soon, I'm going to lock her in a dark closet."

 

 “Lyna, I think I saw that film Nancy is stuck on when I was younger. Is that the one with the talking donkey that tells the entire story? The thing is so syrupy sweet it makes you gag?”

 

 "That's the one . . . It's such an unrealistic telling of the Christmas story it makes you want to scream."  

 

Lyna exclaimed with confidence, "The more fantasy, the better Nancy likes it. Why don't Hollywood producers ever show a pregnant Mary with morning sickness or writhing in pain?  What about the poor donkey that had to carry her and her load?  Was Joseph cranky on the long trip from Nazareth to Bethlehem? Who delivered Jesus? Wasn't Mary an average, pregnant, Jewish woman of that time?”

 

“By the way, we saw a film about the birthing process in sex ed. class last year, and it was highly informative. I wonder if Mary screamed, and called Joseph every word available when she gave birth to Jesus." Danny said smugly. 

 

“Danny, I really hope God doesn't come through this telephone line, and strike you dead with lightning for being so sacrilegious. We are talking about the Holy Family; this was not your average run-of-the-mill parents and child. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph are symbols of the Christian faith, not just some fairy tale."

 

Suddenly, Lyna stopped and abruptly changed the topic of our conversation to something out of a science-fiction thriller. "Don't you think it would be neat if you and I could be there for that first Christmas in Bethlehem?"

 

"Lyna back to earth now. Get your head out of the clouds, and come back down to reality.  It doesn't matter what that first Christmas in Bethlehem was like.  You and I will never know the true untold story behind what happened. We'll just have to accept what the Bible says about it."

 

“Danny, for a Christian you sure have a lousy attitude about Christmas." Lyna stated emphatically.

 

 "Lay off, Lyna!"

 

 "By the way," Lyna admitted. "My mother is pregnant again. The doctor just told her today. Dad will find out about it when he gets home from golfing with his friends in fifteen minutes. Mom is fixing an extra good dinner to soften the news"

 

"Boy, will he be surprised.” I laughed. “Wouldn't I like to see the look on his face? Didn't he once say that Nancy was the last child he ever wanted to have?  Can you blame him? So what are your Mom's favorite baby names?"

 

"Kyle Aaron is the name for a boy. Patricia Renee is the name for a girl."

The conversation continued on for a few more minutes, until I put an end to it. I had three hours till I met Sister Lyna at the mall. We closed with our traditional friend's closing.

 

"Here are lots of hugs and kisses, Brother Philly.”  

 

 "Chow, Sister Lyna." I said. I heard lots of smooch noises over the phone before the line went dead. That was the end of our conversation until we rendezvoused at the mall later that afternoon.

 

The rain had finally stopped and the sun was out. Of course everything outside was completely wet. Mom was still knee deep in her lesson plans. She could not be swayed to drive me over to the Twelve Oaks Mall. She suggested with an irritated motion of her hand for me to try the public transit system. NL was safely asleep under my bed. So off I jogged to the nearby bus stop.

 

With bus stop only three blocks away from my house, I assumed I could take my time getting there. My assumption turned out to be incorrect. Once the number two Butler Avenue bus cleared the corner, I took drastic measures. With the speed of a seasoned track star, I arrived at the bus stop just as it pulled up.

 

Inside the Butler Avenue bus, I sat uncomfortably on a seat that had ninety percent of its springs poking into my rear. The bus was loaded to full capacity so I could not move anywhere else.  I was in the last available seat in the bus. I refused to stand in back of a woman that smelled like she hadn’t seen a shower and a bar of soap in a long time.

 

In a short amount of time, the bus driver yelled out, "Next stop is the Twelve Oaks Shopping Mall." When the rickety, old bus stopped, I waded through the sea of people, and finally got off. Trailing behind me was a smiling pregnant woman with a bright orange dress.  Her work badge that was swinging from her neck identified her as “Marilyn Childs.” Marilyn was having a rough time getting off the bus steps. I offered my hand in assistance. She graciously accepted.

 

Once off, Marilyn thanked me, and waddled into the mall. She resembled a large, bouncing orange. Carrying around thirty extra pounds couldn't be easy on the back or the front side. I felt sorry for this stranger. Lyna might be right for once. Maybe the Holy Family wasn't that much different from other couples in the town of Oaksdale. Without someone to chauffer me around, the public bus system was my mode of transportation . . . whether I liked it or not.

 

"My mother could have driven me here," I sulked. "Didn't she ask me to pick up something for her cake recipe before I left today? I felt in my pocket. Once again, I’d left my iPhone at home in my room. Those half-priced stone washed jeans at Krisman's can wait a few minutes while I make this call.  Let’s be honest, I've got all the time in the world."

 

I looked down the sidewalk for a place where I could make a phone call. Down the sidewalk to my left appeared (as if by magic) an unusual telephone booth. I’d been to this mall hundreds of time. I’d never seen a telephone booth like this here before.

 

 "I really should pay closer attention next time I’m here," I thought. Something about this phone booth sent cold chills up my spine. This booth seemed to be calling me to get inside it. I had the option of turning back and running. If this was a telephone booth, no one was waiting in line to use it. It looked like a quiet place to call home.

 

 As I lfelt for two quarters in my jacket pocket, I glanced at the booth. Something about it made me uncomfortable. The eerie feeling went up and down my spinal cord. Could being stuck in a dark funeral home at night with no light be any worse? This contraption belonged in a carnival spook house not right outside of a shopping mall.

 

In all actuality, this booth resembled a humungous black coffin. The two exceptions to that were the brass doorknob on the front and the rooster weather vane on the top. Stepping into this booth, something warned me I wouldn’t be seeing Oaksdale again for a long, long time.

 

Though this booth seemed exciting and mysterious, I wondered what would happen once I went inside of it. Was it good-bye to enjoying mint milk shakes with mom, chats with Lyna, scaring myself silly watching my favorite comedians on Netflix, or eating grandma’s lasagna?

 

I stepped inside the booth "Why am I being such an idiot about this"? I said to myself as I looked around. "This is just a normal telephone booth with a telephone and a light bulb on the ceiling, the way it's supposed to be."

 

Maybe my overactive imagination really expected strange green lights, flashing buttons, or even Frankenstein himself? Was I disappointed that nothing bad was happening? Nervously, I plunked my two quarters into the telephone, and began to dial.  

 

 After three rings, a man speaking a foreign language answered. At first, I wondered if I'd dialed the wrong number. If I hadn’t dialed the wrong number than a thief had broken into our home, and was holding my mother hostage. Mom wouldn't let a stranger in the house unless she was being held at gunpoint.

 

Panic and anger swelled up within my chest. It amazed me that someone could be so dumb as to answer the phone of the house their robbing.  Was it Crazier yet that I understood the language this man was speaking.  My vocal chords responded back to him in the same strange gibberish.

 

"If you've hurt my mother in any way, I'll find you, and hurt you. That's a promise. Now get out of my house." By now I was screaming at the top of my lungs. My face felt like it was on fire. I needed to hang up, and dial 911 immediately. Mom was all I had left in this world. The deep male voice listened and calmly replied. "Good sir, I am Koa, the owner of the Inn of Chimham. Our inn is the best in Bethlehem. May I hold a room for you?"

 

Upon hearing the word "Bethlehem," the booth began to rumble like a herd of elephants was running through. I was sliding into another state of panic. "If this is an earthquake, this is the last place I want my body found in." I screamed. My whole town was probably crumbling around me, and possibly my mother was being raped at this very moment. Somehow, I felt Lyna was calling out for me. These were all good incentives for me to get out of this thing. The phone slipped out of my sweaty hands, and I reached for the doorknob. It didn’t exist. When had the door closed on me?

 

"Let's be calm," I tried to convince myself. "If I push on this door with all of my weight, it will pop open." So that’s what I did with every ounce of strength in my body. Regardless of whether I pushed, pounded, screamed, or kicked, the door didn’t budged. Whether I liked or not, I was being held hostage by a supernatural event.

 

The machine began to spin faster and shake harder, like a roller coaster out of control. I was bouncing from the floor to the door to the wall with the speed of a shooting rubber band. In no time at al, my body was turning into one large, sore, multi-colored bruise. Beautiful light rays of red, yellow, and green zoomed, snapped, crackled, popped, and sparkled everywhere. It sounded like my bowl of puffed rice cereal that had just had milk poured on it.

 

"This isn’t fair!" I said. "I said no to alcohol and drugs years ago.” I thought people who weren’t addicted to that stuff couldn’t hallucinate as I’m doing right now. Since the booth blender was locked and moving so fast, all hopes of escape were impossible. This thing was would turn me into hamburger meat in a minute even if I could find some way to get out of here. I quickly balled myself up into a fetal position in the corner of the machine. It seemed the safest option to take at the present time.

 

I pleaded to the top of the machine. "God, if you get me out of this machine alive, I promise I'll be anything, or go anywhere you want me to.” If this machine didn’t stop soon, I was either going to pass out, vomit, or do both very soon. Everything was starting to fade into black.

 

The last time I felt this sick was the previous year when I overstuffed myself to the point of bursting at my Philman grandparent’s Thanksgiving dinner. The misty gray regions of sleep were becoming almost too hard to resist. Why was I thinking of my favorite children’s storybook, The Wizard of Oz, by L. Frank Baum right now? Words like “Dorothy, Kansas, and cyclone” started dancing across my brain. 

 

You know that groggy, paranoid feeling you get when someone has awakened you out of sound sleep. I was experiencing that right now. I was no longer spinning around in that bizarre telephone booth.  I’d definitely landed somewhere. The question was where. I rubbed my eyes, and winced at my sore legs and arms. I was feeling freaked out again. I finally sat up and looked around. I closed my eyes hoping whatever I was seeing would go away. I opened my eyes. It was still there. 

 

I pinched myself hoping this bad dream was indigestion from Mom’s white chili last night. Ouch, my arm throbbed along with the headache that was developing at the base of my head. I had been asleep on a straw mat. For how long I had no clue. I was feeling like Goldilocks. Something didn’t seem quite right. Next to me on the tile floor were four other straw pallets. The pallets all had blankets and each pallet was neatly made up. Wherever I was, it appeared I was the last one up.

 

Early morning sunlight filtered through the small lattice-covered window.  Elsewhere in the plain white-plastered room was a small flickering oil lamp on top of a wooden end table. Next to the lamp was a wooden box. Inside it were full glass jars with perfume and make-up. Also in the box were several ivory combs and various pieces of jewelry with polished stones in them. Hanging on the wall were pegs with various shapes, styles, and colors of clothing. From all the clues I was picking up on, this had to be some kind of a family bedroom. Outside, a rooster crowed in the dawn of a strange, new day.  

 

Standing up, something felt peculiar about my body like it wasn't mine. In the past, I’d watched horror movies where aliens inhabited the bodies of unsuspecting human victims. I was always freaked out by those scenes in the movie. Though I had no clue what that body invasion thing felt like. Something just didn’t seem right. My brain kept loudly shouting me that I was an intruder in another person's life, brain, and body.  I quickly grabbed the brightly polished brass plate-mirror sitting in the corner of the room. I fearfully gazed at my reflection. What stared back at me almost made me scream in horror? This was worse than any nightmare I’d ever had. Involuntarily, my legs began to shake, and my teeth began to chatter.

 

Gone was the all-American image of a seventeen-year-old guy. In its place was a scared bewildered-looking thirteen-old Jewish boy. I now looked about 5’4”, very tan, with lots of curly brown hair, and frightened brown eyes. This was a complete opposite of what I looked like in Oaksdale.

 

I was 6’ 2”, blue eyed, had short spiked blond hair and an athletic build. Instead of my customary jeans, colored t-shirt, tennis shoes, and ball cap, the new me was sporting an amber-color skullcap (Kippah) on my head, leather sandals on my feet and a coarse yellow tunic on my body complete with a matching cloth belt and jacket.  This clothing made me itch all over my body.  This really wasn’t my style.  

Something else felt peculiar and light underneath my tunic. I quickly lifted it to inspect the problem. Yep, that would answer it. Wherever I was didn’t use underwear either. There everything was hanging a la natural. It felt loose and free. What a great feeling.

 

I wondered if this extreme new dress code could help me pick up a date. Probably not, I looked like a bad version of I didn’t know what. My new body and appearance left me truly speechless for once in my life. It couldn’t be a hangover because I had never been drunk. I only knew about that from what my older friends told me about the morning after a drinking binge, or as they called it “the mother of all hangovers.”

 

I wondered where the nearest men’s clothing store was so I could get into something normal looking. I touched my face to once again to make sure I wasn’t imagining this whole thing. My dry leathery skin looked and felt too real to be a dream.

 

Two voices were battling for dominance inside my head. One of the voices sounded like me. The second voice was teenage male speaking in something that sounded like Hebrew or Greek. Though I did not know any type of foreign language in Oaksdale, I could easily translate this language just as I had done with the voice in the telephone booth. Come to think of it, this second voice in my head was speaking the same tongue as the one in the telephone booth. Hmm, this was very strange. I wondered if they were related. I knew that my voice could reproduce the same foreign language going on in my head. Did any of this make sense?

 

"Why are you in my body?" The first voice muttered in confusion. "I am Danny Philman. Who are you?"

 

There was silence from the second voice. Was he angry with me? Did he understand the language I was speaking? Shouldn’t I be the one to be quite peeved right now? Finally, he spoke.

 

"My name is Daniel ben Koa." (I knew from a past bible study on biblical names that ben was not a middle name. It was a lower case prefix used with Jewish males that meant, “Son of.”)

 

 Our strained chat came to a halt as a large male bodybuilder in a dress opened the wooden door in this room.  The second voice told me this was his father, Koa, and the owner of this building.

 

My “second dad” intimidated me.  Unlike my late father, Koa was about to bark out orders that he expected me to obey immediately. I quickly got the idea that fighting with Koa would be useless since he could literally pound me into a bloody pulp. Running for my life was not an option either since Koa was blocking the doorway. Jumping out the window was ruled out too since I didn’t know how far off the ground this room was. Koa had to be what the child of an army tank and a brick wall would look like. I was wondering if my “second dad” might just know best.

 

If Koa didn’t scare me so bad, I would have politely asked for sunglasses. His outfit was blinding me. Koa had a red beard with a bright stoplight red turban, tunic, coat, and cloth belt to match.  Thank goodness his neutral brown sandals gave the eyes a rest. Finally, the giant spoke in a deep, ominous tone.

 

"You are awake, my son, Daniel. Your mother will need your help before you and your brothers go to synagogue school. Be quick."  

 

"Yes, Father," I stammered out automatically. Daniel's brain was moving right in on my new life, or was this still really his life? That would be something to think about later when I got bored. In my opinion, boredom wasn't going to be a problem here. Somehow, I had to let Daniel know I was in charge. Did Koa say I had brothers?  I didn’t care for someone else dictating my every move. Did this man have any clue what the real me thought of him? I bet if he did. He wouldn't be happy at all.

 

As I timidly walked out of the room with a new father and a brand new life, I realized Koa's voice was the one I'd heard on the phone before I ended up in this place. Were there telephones in this place? It would be my job to find that out if it was the last thing I did. I wanted to call home as soon as possible.

 

 It would be a challenge to respect a middle-aged bodybuilder that was wearing a bad version of an outdated bridesmaid dress? Of course, I didn't have a whole lot of room to be talking since I looked about as ridiculous as he did. As I gazed at what awaited me beyond my bedroom, I sensed that things were only going to get stranger.

 

The dining room I walked into was a cornucopia of men, women, and children. In the center of the room were three large wooden tables arranged like a giant square horseshoe. The dining room vibrated with the laughter and chatter of people varying in sex, age, body shape, and nationality.

 

Everyone was lounging on couch-like chairs which surrounded the horseshoe table arrangement.  It amazed me that people could almost be laying down in their chairs, and still manage to get food straight into their mouths without dropping a bit of the food on their clothing. Once again, everyone was speaking in a foreign language that I understood perfectly.

 

 At one corner of the horseshoe, a mother vigorously wiped some kind of unrecognizable mush off her daughter's face. For some reason, the incident had not made the lady very sociable. The little girl was about to get a generous helping of her mother's anger. I'm sure she didn't want the smack on her rear that was about to hit her like a hurricane any minute.

 

Near the middle of the table, a group of men conversed about a variety of topics ranging from the weather to the low-cost housing being built on the north end of Bethlehem.

 

On the opposite end of the horseshoe, a sweet older couple, which reminded me of Grandma and Grandpa Philman, ate and talked slowly. "Cleophas, do you think…  “She cleared her throat and began to whisper.  I moved closer so I could hear well.

 

" …that the Messiah will come this year? For such a long time the Jews have been taxed and bullied by these heathenistic Romans. If ever we needed someone to reign over us and finally bring triumph and glory back to Israel, the time is now."

 

 With a sudden look of alarm, the old man covered his wife's mouth with his wrinkled bony hand. He angrily whispered, "Priscilla, you must never again mention such a thing in a public place.  Danny ears could be listening to us now as we speak. Such words could mean our death or imprisonment."

 

From the corner of my eye, a plump woman dressed in a green gown with long, black, braided hair headed my way. Daniel informed me this was my mother, Tabitha. The warm smile on her face told me she was a kind and caring mother. (She could be my mother’s twin.)

 

Did all moms go to some kind of school to learn the "you-better-listen-to-me" look? My new mom had it, and she was headed my way.

 

"Did you have a good night's sleep, Daniel?"

 

"Yes, Mother," I answered.

 

"Son, I need you to make sure that all the guests have enough cheese, bread, and figs to eat.  Make sure the water pitchers are full too."

 

 "Yes, Mother," I said.

 

 "Check on your brothers also. They are to be tending the animals. Lucas and Joel should have returned to the Inn by now. When you are done serving the guests, you may eat some breakfast yourself," she said.

 

 She stared out the one large window in the room, and remarked, "It looks like it's going to be a lovely spring day in Bethlehem.  The Inn of Chimham will be busy today. I'll be outside in the courtyard grinding grain for tonight's supper if you need me." With those commands Tabitha sauntered out the door.  

 

I wish someone here could see who I really was on the inside. Just because I look like your son, Daniel doesn't mean I am.  I wanted to shout at the top of my lungs, “I am Danny Philman from Oaksdale, Ohio!” It didn’t appear anyone in this place was a mind reader, so that meant I had to keep pretending to be Daniel ben Koa.  

 

 After satisfying the desires of the customers, I drank some lukewarm water, gobbled down some cheese, and swallowed one of those rock-hard biscuits that cracked in my mouth when I ate it. My teeth and jaws would never be the same.

 

 "What I wouldn't do for a big bowl of frosted corn flakes," I thought. Once again, Daniel directed me toward the stable where my brothers were. I found them in a rocky cave that was a short distance from the inn. The entrance to this place was large enough to let people and animals in, but small enough to keep much of the weather and noise out. My brothers turned out to be two twin kindergarten-age rug-rats. Presently, they were enjoying a messy hay fight.

 

The smell of this place gagged me. Stubborn donkeys, jittery chickens, and unruly cows packed the rafters of the rock barn.  The smell reminded me of why I chose to live in the city instead of on a farm. Though the cave was well lit with small wall oil lamps, it still seemed lonely, damp, and uninviting. Was Bethlehem some unique backwards community that didn’t believe in electricity or the most up-to-date clothing? I’d never seen Amish people that dressed like these folks.

 

 "Joel," I growled like an angry drill sergeant. Immediately the freckled boy with straw in his brown hair stood up straight like a toy soldier.

 

 "Lucas, stop playing around and get your work done," I commanded. The other boy with a missing front tooth stood at attention.  

 

 "Daniel!" They both charged towards my legs and affectionately hung on like leeches. All this love was going to turn me into a cripple. I felt my limbs going numb and bet they were turning blue. With all the courage I could muster, I peeled their tiny faces and hands off my limbs and waist.

 

 Whew . . . it felt good to have blood coursing through my two legs again. Toothless Lucas smiled at me and said, "I think Babella's going to be all right."

 

"Who's Babella?" I asked as if I didn't know. Daniel had told me who it was. I just loved to hear that whistle sound coming from the big gap in front of Lucas' teeth.

 

"Daniel, you know that's our pet donkey." Lucas pointed to a mangy creature lazily munching on hay. The donkey was covered from top to bottom in tiny white bumps.

 

The freckled lad, Joel, chimed in. "Lucas and I fed him some plant that he wasn't supposed to eat. We just wanted to see what would happen."

 

 Joel almost started to cry, but I stopped him just in the nick of time. I hated hearing little kids cry. "Last night Father really spanked us hard when he found out what we'd done." At the same time, they both started rubbing their rear ends. It was so cute that I almost couldn't keep from laughing. I did manage to bite my lip to keep from embarrassing myself.  

 

 With lots of teamwork, we finished feeding the animals, threw out the old straw, and filled the cave with fresh, clean straw. With a sense of satisfaction, I strolled inside the inn and got the twins some figs and biscuits to eat like a good, protective big brother should. We all went out in the courtyard to say goodbye to Tabitha.

 

She looked at the twins and gave them her "you-two-be-good" speech, which I was sure she'd given hundreds of time before.  I was instructed to make sure these two didn't get into any trouble at synagogue school. They were to walk home after school with me.  Trying to keep them out of trouble seemed like a great deal to ask of one person.  In minutes, we were all following the winding dirt path that led to synagogue school.

 

This book is continued in installment two.

 

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