Taking care of an aging parent may
be the highest calling of your life. But it also can rob you of time, money,
and your own experiences. In some cases, these personal sacrifices can create
bitterness and regret, causing ill will toward the very people you love and have
pledged to help.
Ten million adult children over age fifty
now care for an aging parent. Working Americans lose an estimated three
trillion in lifetime wages, with average losses of $324,044 for women and
$283,716 for men. With these costs and other money issues in mind, here are ten
tips about the financial consequences of caregiving:
1.
Think very carefully before quitting a job to help a parent - Gaining time may be offset by not only your loss of
current income but also damage to your retirement savings. If you leave work,
what are the odds of finding work in the future? Would your job skills still be
attractive to prospective employers if you didn't work for several years?
"By
the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to
remember it." (George Burns, 1896-1996)
2.
Would you lose other helpful benefits if you left your job? - In addition to
your own health insurance, is there employee disability, life insurance, and
long-term care insurance policies that would be very costly to replace? Check
out your employer's flex-time and family leave policies. Perhaps they would
allow you to keep your job.
"Nature gives you the face you have
at twenty; it is up to you to [worthy of] the face you have at
fifty." (Coco Chanel, 1983-1971)
3.
Make a care giving budget - Before making a lifestyle decision with financial
consequences, put together a comprehensive look at what you are spending on care
giving. Make a companion list of your parent's resources and how they might be
better used to support caregiving activities.
4.
Explore free or low-cost public benefits - Several websites can provide help in identifying and
getting help with caregiving tasks. Check out the government's eldercare
locator. The National Council on Aging
operates a benefits checklist service, and the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging has
extensive information on
caregiving help (plus an online locator to
a local office in your area).
"I have reached an
age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don't have to." (Albert Einstein,
1879-1955)
5.
Learn about Medicare and Medicaid - What kind of Medicare coverage does your parent have? Do
they also have a Medigap (or Medicare Advantage) policy, or a pharmacy
prescription plan? What are the co-pays, out-of-pocket limits, and other
financial aspects of their insurance?
"I
have reached an age when (if someone tells me to wear socks) I don't have
to." (Albert Einstein,
1879-1955)
6.
Understand the costs of keeping your parent in their home - Most people want to grow older in their own home,
surrounded by possessions and memories. How much will this cost, and can you
find aid?
“Family is not an
important thing. It’s everything. “(Michael J. Fox, actor)
7.
Consider professional help - If your parent's needs are extensive and challenging,
consider hiring a geriatric-care manager who can put together a care plan for
you, and can often identify community resources to reduce your own expenses and
time. The National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers can explain professional standards and services, and also
has a locator to help you find a professional nearby.
"Do
not try to live forever, you will not succeed." (George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950)
8.
Watch out for financial scams - Financial abuse of the elderly has sadly become a growing
industry during the nation's tough economic times. Make sure your parents are
protected from making hasty, poor, and expensive financial decisions.
“You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they
get older.” (Anouk Aimee)
9.
Have "the talk" Make sure you understand what will happen if you should get
legal power and responsibility to make decisions for your parent. This
conversation may be uncomfortable for both of you, but it is essential. If you
don't know the about a power of attorney, a living will, or a healthcare proxy,
find an eldercare expert (or attorney) to help.
“To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors.” (Tia Walker)
10.
Make your own retirement plan - How are you fixed for retirement? Will you be able to
support yourself? How might your financial future be affected by taking care of
a parent? Are there steps you need to take to deal with these implications?[i]
[i] Adapted
from “10 Tips for Caring for Aging Parents” by Philip Moeller. This
topic was suggested by my wife, Bobbi.
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