· “Marriage is not 50-50. Divorce is 50-50.
Marriage has to be 100-100. It isn't dividing everything in half, but giving
everything you've got!”[i]
· “A husband and wife must function like two wings on the
same bird. They must work together, or the marriage will never get off the
ground.”
One
of the most dangerous myths in our culture is that if a marriage is truly God-ordained.
It will be an easy effort between two people. We picture it having the intrigue
of a well-written romance novel combined with soundtrack of a sitcom. When a
marriage doesn’t line up with our fantasy of it; we’re tempted to lose hope,
give up, or assume we married the wrong life partner.[ii]
· “One of the quickest ways to change
your marriage is to change your perspective. Stop focusing on all the problems,
and start focusing on the solutions.”
· “Never
outgrow your crush on your spouse.”
Here’s
the truth about marriage…It’s going to be hard some days. That’s the bad news.
Thankfully, there’s good news too. On those days when your marriage is feeling
difficult, remember that struggles in
marriage are an opportunity to work together and grow together (not a reason to
give up).
When
your spouse (or your marriage) is facing any kind of struggle or hardship, here
are five important ways to support each other.
1. Give encouragement; not just advice - When
your marriage is facing any kind of struggle, remember that your
spouse will probably need your encouragement and support much more than
your advice. Don’t try to just fix the problem. Start by building a foundation
of commitment and support for each other. Be a good listener as the solutions
will become evident.
· “It is never your job to point out the
flaws of your spouse; it’s only your job to be the best husband or wife that
you can be. You must take full responsibility for your role in the
relationship, and serve your spouse even when you feel they don’t deserve it.”
· “Taking time to truly listen to
someone can communicate our love and respect even more than our spoken words.”
2. Face every challenge together - Once
you are married, there is no longer his (or her) problems. Every struggle is
one you should face as a team. There may be circumstances where one spouse has
to deal with more of the issue (like struggles at work). Try to find ways to
lighten each others’ loads (and confront challenges as a unified partnership).
· “Part of providing means simply providing
your own presence. Your wife and family can do with less of almost anything if
it means having more of you.”
· “Consider
your spouse in every decision you make; because every decision you make will
impact them in some way.”
3. Pray with and for each other - Couples
who consistently prayed together were significantly less likely to divorce (than
couples who rarely or never prayed together). Prayer isn’t just good
divorce-prevention; it’s also an intimate way to reconnect with your spouse and
with your Creator.
· Forgiveness and trust are two different
things. When you’ve been wronged, you should give forgiveness instantly (which
is grace), but you should give your trust slowly (which is common sense).
Forgiveness by its very nature cannot be earned; it can only be given. Trust by
its very nature cannot be given; it can only be earned. Forgiveness has to come
first and then grace can pave the way to restoration and renewed trust.”
· “Faith
isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice to trust God even when the road seems uncertain.”
4. Be considerate of your spouse’s feelings (even more than
usual) - When facing a struggle, it’s even more important than usual
to be very considerate, thoughtful, and respectful towards your spouse. When
emotions are fatigued and feelings are frayed, be extra sensitive towards one
another. Be patient with each other. Consider your spouse’s feeling in every
decision you make and every word you speak.
· “Be very careful about having friends of
the opposite sex. If you have a friend that you tell things to that you don’t
tell your spouse, then you are creating a toxic situation. Affairs don’t start
in the bedroom; they start with conversations, emails, texts and communication
that lead down a dangerous path. Protect your marriage.”
· “Love your wife more than you love your career, money,
or hobbies. That other stuff can’t love you back.”
5. Don’t give up on each other - Any
struggle in marriage is something you’ll get through if you have faith. Face it
together, and refuse to give up on each other. Persevering through the
struggles can bring you closer together than you were before.
· “Don’t open up to your friends more than you open up to
your husband. When your husband becomes your best friend, your marriage will go
to a new level of intimacy and trust.”
“I promise to always see the
best in you and to strive to become the best spouse I can possibly be. I
promise to never say the word divorce or to see separation as an option in our
relationship. I promise to be your partner, your biggest fan and your best
friend no matter what life throws our way. I promise to create new memories
together that will be filled with joy and laughter. I promise to build my life
and our family on a firm foundation of faith in God and His word.
Because I am imperfect, I
know I will make mistakes, but when I do, I promise to admit it openly, to take
full responsibility and to humbly seek your forgiveness. I will never again
allow anyone or anything to become more important than my relationship with God
and my relationship with you. I wholeheartedly recommit my love and my life to
you, ’til death do us part.
Your relationships are the only trophies that
you can take to heaven, so spend your life investing in them. Trust God,
treasure your wife, spend time with your kids and build a legacy of love,
laughter and faith in your family that will impact the world for generations to
come!”[iii]
No comments:
Post a Comment