The Christmas Tree

If you know of someone whose has Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) as the result of an accident (brain surgery, or both), it is certain that they are not the same individual as they were prior to this life-changing challenge.

Common emotional and behavior problems after TBI that may become a challenge (or get worse) include:

1.  Anxiety – Most common types for TBI patients are panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

2.  Apathy – General lethargy, less emotional, low motivation.

3.  Confabulation – Making sense of incomplete memories “filling in the blanks.”

4.  Confusion – Perplexed, bewildered, or puzzled.

5.  Depression – A depressed mood does not equal depression. Other factors like suicidal thoughts, feeling of worthlessness, and a change in life habits may also be present.

6.  Disinhibition - Inability to stop from acting on one’s thoughts.

7.  Impulsivity – Act quickly without thinking.

8.  Irritability/ anger/agitation/aggression – Reduced capacity to control temper and mood state.

9.  Lability - Unable to effectively control mood state “under-controlled.”

10.     Perseveration - Repetition of certain behaviors, actions, or verbalizations.

11.     Reduced empathy – Difficulty understanding another’s life issues.

12.     Reduced initiation - Poor ability in carrying out steps in a task.

During the holiday season, have you ever had the misfortune of causing Christmas tree “black out?” The lights go out when the power source is overwhelmed. One moment there’s beautiful twinkling lights, and the next darkness.

As a TBI survivor (brain surgery for a Lymphoma diagnosis), think of this analogy for me most Sunday mornings when I attend church with my family. During worship music time, my altered brain is being asked to process more information than can be reasonably accommodated.

There’s the (loud, lively) music with many repetitious choruses, and the visual of the words (and corresponding graphics) on the giant screen (for all to view).

I’m trying to also comprehend how the spiritual lyrics apply to my life. I look around, and wonder what’s wrong with me that I’m not like these people that are in “worship mode” (hands and face pointed heavenward, eyes closed).

After several of these songs, most people are blessed. They are ready to be challenged in their Christianity in the sermon to follow. By this time, I am so emotionally over stimulated that I am irritated, and ready to run away.

If I can listen to worship music in a private controlled environment (at home) where I get just the music and the vocal (of the song) without all the visual stimuli, I find I really enjoy it, (and am inspired).

Worship leader Travis Cottrell is probably not someone I would ever enjoy hearing (and experiencing) in real life. In his 2006 album Found, I fell in love with the song “Falling.” Something about the lyrics resonated within the core of who I am. (See what you think.)

Verse One

On the edge of something big and brave
Every breath is another step of faith
Part of me still likes the ground 
Where I feel safe and sound
But You push me, pull me
And I finally let go

Chorus
Falling, Falling
To the heart of someone so much stronger
Falling into love

Verse Two
Ever closer, closer to the truth
One by one my fears fade into blue
Wherever You are taking me
Is where I need to be
And You have Your reasons 
Who am I to say no

Chorus

Bridge
I waver, You’re steady
I falter, You never fail
You fight for me, I surrender 
To You, to You

Chorus

Just as it’s vital to rely on the faithful love of your Heavenly Father, we all need to be the kind of godly people that do not give up when times become difficult.

Proverbs 24:15-16 (MSG) summarizes that reality this way: “Don’t interfere with good people’s lives; don’t try to get the best of them. No matter how many times you try to trip them up, God-loyal people don’t stay down long. Soon there up on their feet, while the wicked end up flat on their faces.”

Worship leader, Travis Cottrell