Being Aware, Sensitive of Deaf Co-Workers by Bobbi Kinker

I work with many deaf people every day. I happen to be partially deaf as well. Many years ago, I lost my hearing in one ear. Since then, I became especially aware of the deaf and their needs to understand what is going on around them.

In a conversation with a deaf friend, she said, “Oh wait, I want you to read something!”  She said that it was very important for me to understand what it is like to be deaf, she showed me the poem [“Deaf Poem: What is It Like To Be Deaf?”] written by Dianne Kinnee (Switras). The following has been widely distributed on blogs and websites focusing on deaf issues:

What is it like to be deaf?

People have asked me. How are you Deaf?

Deaf? Oh, hmm…. How do I explain that?

Simple: I can’t hear.

No, wait… it is much more than that.

It is similar to a goldfish in a bowl,

Always observing things going on.

People talking at all times.

It is like a man on his own island among foreigners.

Isolation is no stranger to me.

Relatives say hi and bye,

But I sit for five hours among them,

Taking great pleasure at amusing babies or being amused by TV.

Reading books, resting and helping with food.

Natural curiosity perks up upon seeing great laughter, crying and anger.

Inquiring, only to be met with a “Never mind,” “Nothing” or “Oh, it’s not important.”

Getting a summarized statement of the whole day,

I’m supposed to smile to show my happiness.

Little do they know how truly miserable I am.

People are in control of language usage,

I am at loss and really uncomfortable there.

Always feeling like an outsider among the hearing people, even though it was not their intention.

They are always assuming that I am part of them by my physical presence, not understanding the importance of communication.

Facing the choice between Deaf Event weekends

or a family reunion.

Facing the choice between the family commitment and Deaf friends.

I must make the choices constantly, any wonder why I choose Deaf friends???

I get such great pleasure at the Deaf clubs,

Before I realize it is already 2:00 am,

whereas I anxiously look at the clock every few minutes at the Family Reunion.

With Deaf people, I feel so normal,

our communication flows back and forth.

Catch up with little trivial, our daily life,

our frustration in the bigger world, seeking the mutual understanding, contented smiles and laughter are musical.

So magical to me, so attuned to each other’s feelings.

True happiness is so important.

I feel more at home with Deaf people

 of various color, religion, short or tall than I do among my own hearing relatives.

And you wonder why?

Our language is common.

We understand each other.

Being at loss of control

of the environment that is communication,

people panic and retreat to avoid.

Deaf people like the plague.

But Deaf people are still human beings with dreams,

desires, and needs to belong, just like everyone else.

After reading the poem, my reaction was that I understood. I am only partially deaf, but I am met with frustration if I ask people to repeat themselves. Sometimes when I say “what?” too many times, I get frustrated – or they do and we just drop the conversation.

Sometimes it is just easier to not go to events or sit by myself instead of being around others. When I sit with the deaf, I feel like I belong, because I am choosing to learn how to communicate with them.

Sometimes, I get myself in trouble because I can hear and try to interpret for my friends. Hearing people don’t like a lay person trying; they would prefer to have a professional or make the deaf communicate in other forms.

If you were deaf, and more comfortable communicating by sign (even if a lay person is trying) this would be the communication of choice. Being partially deaf is so hard because I still can hear some of what is said. I can hear some of the words being said, and some of them are extremely painful to hear.

I get frustrated FOR my deaf friends. They don’t have a clue what these people are saying around them. Sometimes, people even take advantage of the fact that they are deaf and stand right by them and say things about them.

I am stuck with wanting to stand up to these people and wanting to tell my deaf friends. Either way, I feel like the bad person because I choose to stay out of it so I do not cause problems for myself.

I sometimes I am hurt because I want to help my deaf friends and I am not always able to understand their needs. I think we as a society need to take more time to understanding their needs and certainly put ourselves in their shoes. Why not take a day and put earplugs in and be around your family? See how it feels to be left out because you can’t hear or understand what’s being said.

Take some time and learn some basic nice sign’s to treat the deaf with respect. Sign language is just like anything else you learn it takes practice. If you try and make a mistake most deaf can read lips really well so if you say the word with a wrong sign they will show you the correct sign so you can learn.

My world has changed because of my deaf friends. Thanks so much Lorain for starting my journey in learning to sign while we rode the bus to work! What it is like to understand the deaf is that they are very loving and kind people. They want to be understood and want to be a part of the hearing world.