Them Are Fightin’ Words

The bad news is I am proficient at holding grudges. The half-way good news is I have a very poor memory, and often can’t recall who I am supposed to be angry at (which then puts me in a sour mood with those closest to me). Have you ever heard someone say this? “I’ll forgive them, but I’ll never forget what they did.” 

Have you truly forgiven that individual for their wrongs (to you), or are you going through the motions as you do what’s expected of a “nice person” (as society might label you). “When you forgive someone, you surrender the right to ever use that offense against them.”*

The Bible is a wellspring of wisdom on anger. Did you know that a soft, gentle voice makes it difficult to continue with a loud, angry argument (Proverbs 15:1)? Before blowing up verbally in your next big disagreement, listen to all the facts correctly as they are communicated at face value first (and not emotionally, James 1:19).

A foolish hothead is easily annoyed, but a wise person gives others the benefit of the doubt in all circumstances (Proverbs 12:16). Don’t hold hatred (to someone) overnight. Make it right before you go to bed at night (Ephesians 4:26). Don’t complain about each other (James 5:9). Instead go directly to the person who has offended, and make it right instead getting uninvolved bystanders into the situation (Matthew 18:15).

“He has removed [our sins] as far as the East is from the West.” (Psalms 103:12, NIRV) I am so thankful that my God has memory retention issues when it comes to all my sins (past, present, future). Aren’t you? If you are living a life of guilt over your past, the why do that? Jesus no longer finds you guilty (John 8:11). Jesus shed blood on the cross has made you pure in His eyes again (I John 1:7).

Though the phrase, “Get off the cross. Someone else needs the wood,” ** may sound a bit humorous at first, it cleverly communicates part of what I want you to take away from this post.

Excessive reflecting on your issues internally and constantly talking about with your best friends could drive you both crazy. This sharing process may backfire on you with unwanted silence, avoidance, and little empathy when it’s needed the most from those tired of continuously being placed in the drama of your life.

Go into conquering, active resolution mode with the assistance of a trained counselor (therapist).Stop having a “victim mentality.” You may have messed up, but correct it and move out of the rut you are stuck in.

No one enjoys being around a complaining “martyr” all the time because we all have our challenges we deal with. If you want transformation bad enough, you and the Heavenly Father make it a reality.

*Quote by Dr. Charles Keen.

** Quote by Father Ken Deasey.