1. Coffee will spill only on the most important part of
the instructions!
2. On the first day of your stringent new diet, you are
seated next to someone who orders everything on the menu!
3. A free parking space will become available just after you’ve
turned into an expensive garage!
4. The worse you look, the more likely you’ll run into
your ex-boyfriend!
5. The nicer you keep your lawn, the worse your neighbor
keeps his!
6. The one time you rear-end a car, it will be filled
with senior partners from the city’s most prestigious law firm.
7. The only time in your life you get a
hole-in-one-you’re the only one playing!
8. If you tell your best friend, “I’ll call you right
back,” it will be the middle of the night before you remember that you didn’t!
9. If you’re waiting for a very important phone call, the
calls you will actually receive will be from: an obscure charity, a political
fundraiser, a marketing survey, and an aluminum siding salesman!
10.
Of all the fans
in the stadium, the most obnoxious are always seated right next to you!
11.
The more
important the night out, the more disastrous the hairdo!
12.
The one night
your favorite star misses a performance is the one night you paid big bucks to
see her!
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