Thursday, December 25, 2014

The Brother I Loved (but Fought With)

Dear Jimmy,
          I wrote to Dad, and it really helped. I have regrets with you too that I need to let go finally. When you passed away early on the morning of 2/29/92, I so wished I had come over to your house after my second job at Christian Armory to help you pack. I could sense in your voice you wanted my help.  Somewhere deep inside me I feel like I could have saved your life so you could be here with us. (It’s hard for me to come to terms that God needed you more than I did. 24 seems too young to die in my opinion. I was 27 at the time, and Kim (your sister was 25 I think.)
          I was tired that night and was running from my own demons of loneliness. This was before I met my wife Bobbi, and we had our daughter, Allena. I know as my younger brother we fought occasionally. I just wanted to let you know that I always will love you. I appreciate you taking care of my eight miscarriage children in Heaven for me until we can get there.
          What upsets me most is all the wonderful things you have missed out on like Kim’s daughter s (Lauren and Kellie), her dogs (Tucker and Axel), my wife (Bobbi), daughter (Allena), and three Chihuahuas (Chico, Rosco and Lola). Your nieces would have loved you. Kim and I try to keep your memory alive with them.
          I really never fully realized what a funny, loving, caring, and doctrinally- sound brother you were until you were gone and your friends told me all of this stuff. I wish I had realized it sooner. From the bottom of my heart, thanks for everything you did for me. I greatly appreciated it.
          I’m sure by now you know that you were accepted into the Ford Asset program as an Automotive Technician in a local dealership. Though Mom is much older now she has never forgotten you as well all your friends and family. Robert  passed away in October 2011 of COPD. (Have you two said hello yet?) Though Mom has an active life, I hate it that she lives alone. I think she is lonely, and gets depressed often. Remember, you are still loved and thought of fondly as an unforgettable character by all of your family and friends.
XXX0000XXX.

Your Older Brother

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