“Intention of seeking attention is an addiction. [It is] a vicious cycle, which damages your health, finances, and relationships. It will not improve your self-image, increase your self-worth, or fulfill the need of genuine praise.” (Maddy Malhotra)
Be
careful not to do good deeds in front of other people. Don’t do those deeds to
be seen by others. If you do, your Father in heaven will not reward you. (Matthew 6:1, New
International Reader's Version)
Don’t
brag about yourself. Let others praise you. (Proverbs 27:2, Contemporary English
Version)
I tend to be the kind of person that praises
myself for a job well done if others aren’t fast enough to praise me. I might use a statement like the following (if
I’m hoping for a compliment from someone): “I did a fantastic job on _________.
Don’t you think so?” Is there anything wrong with self-praise? According to the
scripture verses above there is. The
only individuals you should be getting your praise from is God and others.
On the other end of the spectrum is self-confidence,
which is defined as a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and
judgment. There is nothing wrong in being confident in whom God made you
to be, but verbally praising yourself speaks of the sin of pride, which God
hates. Here are five ways to have more self-confidence:
Optimism: Whether it's in
business or personal relationships, optimism is a powerful force, and it
doesn't take much of an investment. The way you think about your life could help
mold your future, or your perception of it. If you expect the worst, it's hard
to be confident about yourself or the future.
Try the power
of positive thinking the
next time you face a personal challenge to see if your outlook has an impact on
the way you meet the challenge. Holding the good thought or putting a positive
spin on events doesn't cost you a thing.
Preparation: Whatever your personal style happens to be, use it to help strategize your actions and enhance your self-confidence. If exact planning doesn't give you performance anxiety, prep work could mean the difference between arriving tired out and defeated or calm and ready to get to work.
The same goes for things like getting a good
night's sleep, a proper diet, or exercise. Just because you're not good in some
things with a little training and practice, you can be. It’s human nature to do
the things you're good at, but don't give up on other interesting activities,
skills or experiences because you may not be perfect at them. Be willing to practice and prepare. It can be
a life-changer.
Resilience: If you get upset
when you aren't the best at something or when things don't go according to
plan, you'll always be at the mercy of factors you can't control. One of the
best attributes to develop for dealing with
stress, anxiety, and adversity is resilience,
the ability to adapt to changing circumstances.
When you're
resilient, your self-confidence isn't a function of your performance, and
that's a very liberating way to live. Resilience is natural to the human
condition. The trick is to recognize that you aren't defined by one foul up --
or even two or three. Self-confident people are on a journey of self-discovery.
They're curious and embrace new challenges because they have realistic expectations
and aren't keeping score.
When life doesn't
quite turn out the way you expect it will or want it to, give yourself a little
wiggle room. The more you reward yourself for stepping out of your comfort zone
and trying something new instead of deriding yourself for an imperfect
performance, the easier it will be to tackle the next challenge with
confidence. Failure can be a confidence killer, but sometimes,
it really pays to be resilient and keep trying.
Risk taker: When you lack
confidence, it's easier to stay with the familiar. Real confidence-boosting
power comes from tackling something new. You may not succeed right away, but
when you do, the experience is liberating. Many people never achieve their full
potential -- not because the opportunities aren't out there, but because
they're afraid to risk failure.
Think of it this way:
If you aren't taking risks, you aren't growing as a person. When you fail at a
new challenge, it's a sign you're getting somewhere. It's one more mistake you
won't make again. There's an extra added bonus, too. Developing self-confidence
is a process, and once you've worked through the fear of failing, it gets
easier. You know you'll survive the humiliation of revealing your imperfect
self, and you'll begin to realize that a few initial failures are a small price
to pay for learning and experiencing new things.
Walking: Walking and
other forms of moderate exercise can help reduce anxiety and elevate mood in a
number of ways. Exercise increases body temperature, which helps you feel
calmer and more in control. It also releases endorphins that
make you feel happier and more relaxed. Just about any physical activity that
gets you up moving around has at least some benefit.
Exercise can help
increase your confidence level by helping to distract your thoughts and get
your brain working on other puzzles and challenges, too. Sometimes anticipating
a big moment can increase tension in a bad way. Take a walk around the block or
perform some quick yoga moves. You'll feel calmer and may even come up with
some last-minute ideas before the big moment.
“When you stop worrying about your problems and start praising God for
His magnificent power, you will experience His peace.”
(Elizabeth George)[i]
[i] Adapted from:
· “5 Ways to Build Self-confidence” by Sara
Elliott
· “6 Ways to Build Your Self-Confidence”
by Amy Morin
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