Big Enough

 “If you tell a big enough lie (and tell it frequently enough), it will be believed.”  (Adolf Hitler)

Lying can be entertaining when it’s connected to a game show like To Tell the Truth. The rules of the game show have changed very little in its various reincarnations over the years. Three challengers are introduced that all claim to be the central character. The announcer typically asks the challengers, who stand side by side, "What is your name, please?" Each challenger then states, "My name is [central character's name]." The host reads aloud a signed sworn statement about the central character.

The panelists are each given a period of time to question the challengers. The central character sworn to give truthful answers, and the impostors permitted to lie and pretend to be the central character. After questioning is complete, each member of the panel votes on which of the challengers they believe to be the central character by writing the number on a card (or holding up a card with the number of their choice) without consulting the other panelists.

Once the votes are in, the host asks, "Will the real [person's name] please stand up?" The central character then stands. The two impostors then reveal their real names and their actual occupations. Prize money is awarded and divided among all three of the challengers, based on the number of incorrect votes received by the impostors.

Today, there are people who believe lying is wrong in any form. They would cite such verses as Proverbs 19:9(TPT): Tell lies and you’re going to get caught, and the habitual liar is doomed. Of course, some people feel lying is not a black and white issue. It is not an easily decided issue on whether it’s done or not. It depends on the situation. Do you believe silence is a form of lying (when the truth is withheld?) Would it be wrong to lie in the scenarios below? (You decide.)

·        A man lies to his wife about where they are going in order to get her to a place where a surprise birthday party has been organized.

·        A woman’s husband drowned in a car accident when the car plunged off a bridge into a body of water. It was clear from the physical evidence that he desperately tried to get out of the car and died a dreadful death. At the hospital where his body was brought his wife asked the physician in attendance what kind of death her husband suffered. He replied, “He died immediately from the impact of the crash. He did not suffer.”

·        A young child is rescued from a plane crash in a much weakened state. His parents have been killed in the crash but he is unaware of this. He asks about his parents and the attending physician says they are okay. He intends to tell the truth once the child is stronger.

·        I am negotiating for a car with a salesperson. He asks me what the maximum I am prepared to pay is. I say one dollar amount (when I could actually go much higher).

·        Parents convince their young believing children about the existence of mythical, fictional characters (like Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny) to make them happy throughout the year. 

·        Your father suffers from severe dementia and is in a nursing home. When it is time for you to leave he becomes extremely agitated and often has to be restrained. On the occasions when you have said you would be back tomorrow he was quite peaceful about your leaving. You tell him now every time you leave that you will be back tomorrow knowing that in a very short time after you leave he will have forgotten what you said.

Like a favorite piece of clothing, lying comes in four different colors:

Black lies-They are about simple and callous selfishness. We tell black lies when others gain nothing and the sole purpose is either to get ourselves out of trouble (reducing harm against ourselves) or to gain something we desire (increasing benefits for ourselves). The worst black lies are very harmful for others. Perhaps the very worst gain us a little yet harm others a great deal.

 

Gray lies-Most of the lies we tell are gray lies. They are partly to help others and partly to help ourselves. They may vary in the shade of gray, depending on the balance of help and harm. Gray lies are hard to clarify. For example, you can lie to help a friend out of trouble but then gain the reciprocal benefit of them lying for you while those they have harmed in some way lose out.

 

Red lies-They are about spite and revenge, and are driven by the motive to harm others (even at the expense of harming oneself). When we are angry at others, perhaps because of a long feud or where we feel they have wronged us in some way, we feel a sense of betrayal and so seek retributive justice, which we may dispense without thought of consequence.

 

White lies-They are selfless as we seek first to help others even at some cost to ourselves. There are shades of white. Even when we lose out significantly, there is arguably always some benefit in the way we feel good about our actions and how others praise or thank us for our selflessness.

 

Denise Swanson gives us this great reminder about gossip (in general): “If you don't see it with your own eyes or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth.”  Spreading around information that is private (or never happened) is another form of a lie. Don’t do it ever. Why ruin someone’s life with this kind of gossip is wrong. You’re better than this. This kind of thing makes you look vicious and stupid.  This kind of lie is never right because there are no exception clauses (that make it excusable).[i]

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[i] This topic was suggested by my wonderful Aunt Phyllis, friend and blog member.

 

Adapted from:

“Four Colors of Lies” by Changing Minds

 To Tell the Truth from Wikipedia

“When Is It Okay to Lie” by Gerald Dworkin