Have you ever wished that you
could have a “do-over” with something in your past? If that were possible, I’d
only want to do that with the knowledge of the outcome of the event as I know
it today. If I had the same knowledge in the do-over as back then at the time
of the event; what would be the purpose of that (if I would possibly make the
same decision again). You must also consider how the outcome of that event
shaped who you are today. Would you be a different person than you are today?
If it was within my power, I would want a do-over to save the life of my easy-going younger brother (by three years), Jim.
It was February 28, 1992 at 4pm. I
was in my apartment relaxing after a long day at my full-time job. I had just
gotten off the phone with my brother, who was on break at his job at a local
pizza shop. He was moving to a new apartment the next day. Though he never
asked for my assistance, I could sense he wanted my help packing later that
night when he got home from work.
That wasn’t going to work for me
for several reasons. My brother was a slob, and his apartment was a toxic waste
dump that you had to warn people about before they entered (complete with lots
of piles of everything including pizza boxes). He cherished the mold experiment
he kept in his refrigerator. I was unsure as to why his cat was still alive. I could be there til the early hours of the
morning getting him packed. I worked part-time the next day at a local
Christian bookstore to earn extra money, and as a way to ignore my
dissatisfaction with being single (and alone).
The next morning, my younger
sister, Kim, (by two years) called me in a state of complete panic. “They found
him, and he wasn’t breathing.” I assured her that Jim would be OK. He had
always pulled through his health issues in the past, and been fine. The same
thing would happen again. The night before soon after Jim got home from work to
the inside his apartment. He had his worse seizure accident ever. (Due to a childhood accident Jim developed seizures as a teenager. I believe they were brought on by stress. What could be more stressful than moving the next day with nothing packed?) for the move.) My brother died that night. Since none of
his family could be there with him as he left this life for the next, Jesus
welcomed His faithful servant into the glories of Heaven.
By the time his friends showed up
to help my brother move, all that was left was the shell of his body (as his
spirit had left hours before), the mess, and his cat. Later on Saturday,
February 29, 1992, at the hospital, I knew something wasn’t right when the
nurses would not give me an update on Jim, or take me to his room. Instead, I
was taken to a small room to wait for the rest of my family, who would arrive
soon. “The Wrecking Crew” (as my mother
referred to her children) had just gone from 3 to 2.
In my mind I know there is absolutely nothing I could have done to prevent Jim’s death. It was his time to go. Out of love, I believe God took him so that he would not experience some negative event in his future. There are so many good things that have happened in the life of my family that I wish my brother could have experienced like being an uncle, meeting my wife, someday being a husband and father, enjoying Kim and I’s dogs and our homes. Please take the time to show love to those people who mean the most to you (however you can). One day your chances may run out. Don’t replace those chances with regrets. Obey and live by Proverbs 27:1 (TPT). “Never brag about the plans you have for tomorrow for you don’t have a clue what tomorrow may bring to you.” (Below are pictures of my brother, Jim.)
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