Monday, June 15, 2020

Unfashionable

“I was fashionably late in my unfashionable clothes.” (Jarod Kintz)

 Punctuality is imperative and a part of being a polite person, but there are some exceptions to this rule. Being fashionably late is the refined art of being just late enough (around five minutes) to give the impression that you are a busy, popular person that was held up with other business. The concept of being fashionably late is all about being calm and making an entrance to captive viewers.

 Being punctual not only makes it easier to formulate plans (and coordinate schedules), but it shows others that you respect and value their time. Arriving too early is just as rude as getting there too late. In general, you should strive to be prompt.  Below is a translation guide for those who live with a fashionably late person:

·        "I am 17 minutes away" Translation: “I am citing an oddly specific number to disguise the fact that I am about half an hour away.”

·        "I am a block away" Translation: “I am two blocks away.”

·        "I am coming" Translation: “I will respond to my emails, and in eight minutes will pass before we leave.”

·        "I am five minutes away" Translation: “I am 10 minutes away.”

·        "I'm en route" Translation:  I am still at home.”

·         "I'm running five minutes late” Translation: “I have time to watch a ninety minute movie before getting dressed.”

·        "See you at [time we agreed upon]" Translation:  I'm about to shower, get dressed, and then leave at the time we agreed to meet.”

·        "I’m twenty minutes away" Translation: “I am lost somewhere miles away, but am optimistic about finding my way there.”

Below are a few helps for the fashionably late to break a bad habit, and actually be on time:

·        Plan ahead-You already know what you need to get done to prepare for, and arrive at your party, shower, or ceremony on time. Taking the time to create a to-do list of these tasks will help you organize the days and hours before you attend. Do this as soon as you receive your invitation so you have a physical reminder of what needs to happen between then and now.

·        Save the date- For most of these events, save a friendly casual gathering, you'll probably have weeks (if not months) of advanced warning. Put the date into your cell phone calendar, and keep it in mind. The closer it gets, the more you'll be able to work your schedule around it. This saves you any last-minute conflicts, double bookings, and the risk of running late.

·        Streamline your driving routing-Simple steps, such as laying out your outfit and accessories, and packing gifts and other things into your car the night before, means you'll be able to get ready and go with the minimal amount of difficulty. Checking weather and traffic reports, as well as familiarizing yourself with routes and the day's events. This will also start you off on the right path. Take these steps to avoid last-minute delays and you'll be right on time  at every event.

Below is a general timeline for the fashionably late in various social situations:

·        Work gathering-Be it a formal event or some kind of work-related celebration, this is a gathering that involves getting dressed up to the right degree and also knowing just when to arrive. The window for lateness here is within half an hour of when the event starts. Timing is crucial. You can miss the first round of socializing, snacks, and drinks. Getting there after any opening welcoming remarks is too late and rude. You need to be on your best behavior by being present for the evening's main elements (at this work event). Work events are an excellent opportunity to do a little networking by giving you time to talk with those present.

·        Dinner party-This one is all about punctuality because dinner is involved, and it's being prepared with a set serving time already in place. Arriving late, with everyone already seated at the table is a major social faux pas. Your host has a plan for the evening, and it relies heavily on the timing of the meal. Everything like the coffee and dessert is organized around when that first course is served. Be polite enough to respect this schedule and the time and effort involved in hostessing. A small hostess gift is never a bad idea. Keep it simple: a potted herb or a neutral-scented candle is nice ways to say thanks for the free food and good company.

·        House (or block) party-These events have a natural rhythm by starting slow, kicking into gear, and eventually winding down. Any kind of large, informal social gathering usually has a two or three-hour warm-up time. Before that, there's often a fair amount of loitering, lingering and talking. If you like to be there as things get going, arrive closer to the start time. If you love pulling up just as things heat up, go ahead and take your time getting ready.

·        Ceremonies-Don't be late to a wedding, a funeral, a performance, or a celebration. Even the smallest and most intimate of affairs requires punctuality. From a grand cathedral wedding to your nephew's middle school graduation ceremony, from a play at your grandmother’s funeral, these ceremonies involve showing respect to both the occasion and its participants. These life event ceremonies deserve to have you take time from work and other obligations, once you commit to attending. Lateness goes crosses over into the realm of the seriously offensive.

·        Bridal (and baby) showers-Showers are smaller gatherings of celebration and as such should be attended on time. There's still about a 15-minute window inside which you'll be considered reasonably punctual, but 20 minutes or more will be noted as rude. Showers can be rather regimented affairs, with time for socializing, for games, for eating, and for opening presents all planned out ahead of time. Arriving late and might take away from everyone's fun in that moment.

 “The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.” (Elizabeth Taylor)[i]




[i] Sources used:
·         “3 Things Every ‘Fashionably Late’ Person Should Try” by Heather K Adams
·        “A guide to understanding the fashionably late” By Alexandra Petri
·        “Fashionably Late” by Adam Lowe
·        Fashionably Late” by Urban Dictionary (Anna)
 

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