Monday, May 4, 2020

Your Heart

“When you are angry, don’t let it carry you into sin. Don’t let the sun set with anger in your heart or give the devil room to work.” (Ephesians 4:26-27, VOICE)

Anger is an essential human emotion attached to survival. It is joined to our fight-flight-freeze response. Anger in itself is not a bad thing (or a sin). It’s all depends on the actions (and negative thought patterns) that you choose to utilize when you lose your temper. Violence of any kind due to outrage is unhealthy. Many people suffer from anger due to underlying mental conditions. It is a common symptom of obsessive compulsive disorder [OCD], attention deficit hyperactivity disorder [ADHD], and bipolar disorder. It is also a byproduct of alcohol as well as grief.

Triggers can lead to the development of anger. Triggers differ from person to person though many common environmental causes do exist. To cope with your anger, first identify what it is that triggers the emotion. Many people find themselves becoming angry when stressed. Stress can be due to things such as work overloads, family and relationship issues, or financial troubles. Exercise may be a great way to help let go of the rage as it promotes the production of endorphins (and directs your negative energy towards something positive).

You may need to turn to therapy to help develop better coping mechanisms for your anger. Therapy approaches such as cognitive behavioral therapy [CBT] help to restructure thinking, solve problems by finding new ways to cope, and develop communication skills. While some anger is slow to form, other anger can be a rapid burst of apparently out of control rage. There are many types of anger, and these types represent reasoning of some sort. Let’s examine several different kinds of anger:

Behavioral anger-Behavioral anger is usually so strong that can turn physical. Sometimes this emotion does result in attacking other people, and can certainly cause legal consequences. Behavioral anger can come from past trauma or neglect. Without proper upbringing, a person cannot learn to control their emotions correctly, and with trauma, behavioral anger may be the only way to deal with hurts experienced early in life. This anger can still be treated and channeled in the right direction.

Chronic anger-Do you hold on to anger for longer than a few months? Then you might fit the chronic (or habitual) anger profile. Over time, this type of anger weakens the immune system and causes health conditions like hypertension and cardiovascular disease. This is a person who gets into the habit of anger. They wake up irritated, and moves angrily from one thing to the next, setting the day up in their mind as a burden.


They are always looking for something to get angry about. If you're chronically angry, you may find help in an anger management support group or by working with a therapist. Left untreated, this is the type of person who ends up in trouble with the law or alienates themself from family and friends. Chronic anger can increase your heart-attack and stroke risk.


Empathic anger-As long as it’s expressed appropriately, another type of healthy anger is empathic anger. Empathic anger occurs when you are angry on behalf of someone else. Empathy is a healthy emotion for reducing anger in many situations. Mental health usually improves when you focus on others rather than yourself despite the frequent popular advice to schedule self-time and self-care. People report greater happiness when they do volunteer work helping others versus doing the same work with pay.


Habitual anger-When you’ve been angry for so long, it can be hard to stop being angry. Habitual anger is a perpetual state of unrest and dissatisfaction with everything and everyone. When you try to deal with those who exhibit types of anger such as this, they will most often get angrier. The hidden aspect of this anger lies within the past and trickles down through the years.

Although this type of anger may have been born early in life, it has grown, due to various negative experiences in the years following. If you’ve had issues with habitual anger, your life may be a walking nightmare. The good news is you can learn to heal from this too. Habitual anger is often associated with temperament. It is felt frequently or consistently, embodied in various emotions such as frustration, resentment, or irritability. The cause of habitual anger may be unknown or may vary.

Moral anger-Jesus became angry one time because He walked through the temple and became appalled by the gambling and other unholy things he witnessed in a holy place. As a result, He tossed tables and kicked over stands. This is an example of what I call moral anger, and is a testimony to how anger in itself is not bad. Moral anger is anger based on beliefs (many times spiritually based). If you have rules set in a household and someone in that household breaks these rules, you will experience moral anger.

There is a hidden meaning behind the feeling of moral anger. It seems that when someone gets strict this way, it could be an attempt to control someone. Moral anger can go too far and turn you into a controlling and manipulative individual. Moral anger is irritation caused by a situation that correctly warrants the feeling. For example, if you feel angry due to seeing someone be the victim to racism, your emotion is considered good. It is caused by the obstruction of your morals.

Passive-aggressive anger-While this type of anger may seem harmless it sometimes can do quite a bit of damage. It just doesn’t leave scars in the way you think. With passive aggressive anger, emotions tend to be pushed down for the most part. There is resentment, sarcasm, and mockery, all hiding behind a façade. Because of their inability to express themselves in a healthy manner, those who suffer from passive-aggressive emotions will internalize what they really feel.

One hidden secret about this form of anger is that it’s said to come from childhood emotional abuse. Some children are taught to not express negative emotions, and so they grow up to think passive aggression is a logical way of dealing with problems. If deep down you’re ticked off, but you haven’t said so out loud or you haven't acknowledged it yet, you may have passive or resistant anger. This type of anger is difficult to identify and can wreak havoc on your health. When you keep the feelings all bottled up, your body is tense all the time.

Your immune system weakens, and you're at higher risk for heart disease, cancer, osteoarthritis, even temporomandibular joint dysfunction and skin conditions. It's not uncommon for this type of person to one day just snap. People who fit the passive anger profile should practice expressing emotions in a healthy way like venting to friends. Another way to break the passive anger cycle is to engage in physical activity to lower your overall stress.

Petrified anger-If you feel stuck in your anger and have a very hard time forgiving and forgetting an event where you feel you were wronged, you may have petrified (or hardened) anger. This is when someone hangs on to a sense of hatred and bitterness. You're waiting for an apology, but the person who did it possibly doesn't care (or doesn't even know that you're angry.


 The key to overcoming petrified anger is to forgive. You've need to realize that the anger isn't getting you anywhere. You can choose to forgive once and for all, and by doing so you'll forgive yourself. If you're ready to forgive, a therapist can help you work through the buried emotions. A therapist can also help you reach out to the person who has upset you so you can finally let go of anger.


Self-harm anger-Self-harm is more than just depression. The act of self-harm can actually be a form of anger against one’s self. When people cut their skin, they could be exhibiting anger for how they look. It’s a complicated matter to understand sometimes, but it’s a negative emotion which must be revealed. The hidden aspects of self-harm can come from many places. Self-harm can come from past abuse, trauma, and neglect. It can also come from repeated disappointments and broken relationships. Instead of focusing outward anger, people who suffer from self-harm may focus these emotions on the person within.

Vengeful anger-One of the most common types of anger is vengeful (or revenge) anger. It’s a basic form of anger which has been around since the beginning of time. With this form of anger, there’s usually not a lot of premeditation, except for the plans of getting revenge which come along with the emotion. There is little-hidden meaning behind this type of anger. It is straightforward. To the ones who feel this emotion, it is pure in its intent. Those who exhibit vengeance feel the emotions and actions are warranted. If you're obsessed by someone you feel has wronged you, you probably have what's called vengeful anger.

This type of anger takes a toll on you both mentally and physically in the form of obsessive thoughts, high levels of stress, and an increased risk for heart problems.  When you take revenge on someone who has wronged you, the dopamine (or reward) center in the brain gets activated in a similar manner to addictions. In other words, revenge is sweet, which explains the tendency for angry people to ponder over vengeance that gets more and more intense as the thinking progresses. If this sounds like you, try to distract yourself. A good approach for this type of anger is to find activities that get you out of your head such as volunteering, which shifts your brain from anger at others toward helping others. The best cure for vengeful anger is forgiveness.

Volatile anger-Are you prone to road rage when you're behind the wheel? You may be experiencing volatile anger (or its more serious form intermittent explosive disorder). People with intermittent explosive disorder have episodes of aggressive, violent behavior or angry verbal outbursts that are grossly out of proportion to the situation. It is almost like a seizure.


Volatile anger is slightly more common in males and those with substance abuse problems. This type of anger puts people at risk for self-harm, damage to property, violence against others, and trouble with interpersonal relationships. It's important to seek professional help for patterns of this type of anger, and to use caution if someone around you is prone to it. Volatile anger should not ever be an accepted form of expression of anger.


 “For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.” (Gecko & Fly)[i]




[i] Sources used:
·        “7 Different Types of Anger and the Hidden Causes behind Each” Sherrie Hurd

·        “7 Kinds of Anger: How to Deal with Rage” by Throomers

·        “What’s Your Anger Type?” Debbie Strong

 

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