Is God
part of your romantic relationship? Your
main concerns on a date probably revolve around how kind, smart, generous,
and funny the person is. The topic of religion may not even be brought up in
conversation. Within the Christian faith, dating is a little different in fact.
They call it Christian courting. Christian courting revolves around
maintaining God's presence within your potential relationship.
Courtship is a choice to avoid temptation and experience the blessings of purity. It is a choice to not emotionally give away your heart, piece by piece, to many others through casual dating relationships, and instead to give your whole heart to your life partner. It is a choice to wait for God’s best, for His glory. It is a decision to walk by faith, to trust in God, to honor others above yourself, and to believe that God will deal abundantly with you because He is love.
The main difference between dating and courtship involves the goals to be reached by spending time with a potential marriage partner. Men and women who choose to date often have no commitment to consider marrying the other person. Maturity and readiness for marriage are not considerations in the decision to date. Instead, couples usually date with the selfish goals of having fun and enjoying romantic attachments.
The couple must decide if it is in
God's will that they are together in marriage. The couple must also have a
mentor within their relationship. A
pastor, parent, or close friend may be the mentor. This mentor ensures that the
couple stays faithful to each other and God. In courtship, both parties in the relationship have their family’s front
and center. A family’s approval holds a lot of meaning within a Christian
courtship.
If, during the courtship, one or both parties realize that marriage is not God’s will and they end the relationship, the courtship has not failed. On the contrary, the courtship was successful, because God gave the direction that was sought through it.
What
are some ideas of interesting activities a couple could do during a Christian courtship?
Attend a cooking class-Cooking involves creating something new and
it is also a wonderful experience. Regardless of your previous cooking
achievements, be brave and allow your affection to grow during the Christian
courtship period. Women love a man who can cook or at least is willing to
learn.
Discover hidden history-Even if you both are local residents, there
is some history that you don’t know about the place where you live. A good
guide will be able to show you sights and tell exciting stories of courage and
bravery that lift your spirits. Shared emotional experiences are at the core of
people growing spiritually close.
Go to farmers markets-You will be doing lots of shopping during
your marriage, so why not make the first trip together as a couple more
enjoyable, and buy fresh produce at farmers markets. If you are comfortable with
being together, cook a lunch from what you have purchased. Plan your meal ahead
but don’t just rush around. Take time and savor the tastes.
Read and study the Bible
(and prayer)
- The first rule in Christian courtship is
the first rule in all of life: “You are to love the Lord Yahweh, your God, with every
passion of your heart, with all the energy of your being, with every thought
that is within you, and with all your strength. This is the great and supreme
commandment.” (Mark 12:30, TPT).
You will not truly love anyone else
if you do not love God first and most. No one will truly love you if they do
not love God more than they love you. Prayer and Bible reading, study, and
obedience to the Word will draw you both closer to your heavenly Father and
each other. It will be the glue to keep a strong, healthy marriage together.
See a musical (or concert)-Many couples go to movies, but there
is so much more to the entertainment industry than screens. Live theatre or
music has a lot to experience. Find out what types of performances each enjoys
and give them the experience of a lifetime by taking them to see her favorite
artist, group, or play.
Visit a museum or art
gallery-Usually these are the
places where guys rarely invite their dates. Men are more likely to buy tickets
to a sporting event than enjoy exploring art and culture in a museum. This
means, such an invitation will be very special and surprising to your lady
friend. She may feel like the luckiest girl in the world that she found one guy
who also treasures cultural pursuits.
Visit a theme park-Going to a theme park is a full day activity
and it allows you to step out of the usual routine and spend some substantial
time together. People are more relaxed around fun rides. Your reactions become
more natural and comfortable and your bond is likely to grow.
“When you meet someone who
tries their hardest to stick by you regardless of how difficult you are, keep
them. Keep them at all costs because finding someone who cares enough to look
past your flaws isn’t something that happens every day.” (Sambadi Sen)[i]
[i] Sources used:
·
“How is courtship different than
dating?” by Institute in Basic Life Principles
·
“The Five
C’s of Christian Courtship” By
·
“The Golden Rule in Christian
Dating” by Marshall Segal
·
“Things to Do During Courtship
Period” by Elena
Petrova
·
“What Is Christian Courtship
& Why Isn't It Just Called Dating, Per the Bible” by Carlie Fox
This topic was asked for
by my missionary daughter, Allena.
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