Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Courage

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” (Anais Nin)

Worry is like paying interest on a debt that you don’t yet owe. It’s useless, wasteful, and ridiculous. Yet many of us do it. It’s important to note that worry stems from fear. While fear can certainly save you from entering a dangerous situation, it can also prevent you from pursuing a life changing opportunity. Fear can hold you back in your career, your relationships, and in achieving your dreams. Worst of all is when fear keeps us from fulfilling our highest purpose. One thing is for certain. The more power you give fear. The more it controls you.

You don't have to let your fears keep you trapped. You can face your fears head-on, one small step at a time. Facing your fears builds mental muscle. The more mental muscle you have. The easier it is to face your fears. Get hands-on about doing the things that scare you, and building the mental strength you need to live your best life. Many people work hard to prevent themselves from ever feeling anxious that they actually develop depression. Their efforts to keep themselves comfortable unintentionally go wrong. They live boring, safe lives that are void of the risk and excitement they need to feel fully alive. Here are the top fears that hold people back in life:

Being Judged- It's normal to want to be liked. But the fear of being judged can prevent you from being your true self. The truth is some people will judge you harshly no matter what. Trusting that you're mentally strong enough to live according to your values is key to living your best life. People who worry that they’ll be judged negatively by others often shy away from social opportunities or chances to advance their career. People who adopt this fear often exaggerate how others will perceive them negatively and underestimate their ability to tolerate not being received by others.

Change-You live in an ever-changing world. Change happens more rapidly than ever before. There are many people who fear change so they resist it. The fear of change can cause people to become stagnant and they may miss out on many promising opportunities that come their way. You run the risk of staying stuck in a rut when you avoid change.

Failure- It's embarrassing to fail. It may reinforce your beliefs that you don't measure up. You might avoid doing anything where success isn't guaranteed. Failure is a normal part of life and learning from failure can help you find eventual success.

Getting Hurt-Quite often, our fears of getting hurt cause us to become emotionally overprotective of ourselves. Your fear of uncomfortable feelings and emotional wounds might prevent you from making deep, meaningful connections. It might stop you from being vulnerable at work. Without emotional risk, there aren't any rewards.  You should have some fear of getting hurt. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t look both ways before you crossed the street. People who have a big fear of being emotionally hurt often refuse to enter into relationships. They may avoid friendships, keep family away, and skip romantic relationships due to a fear that they won’t be able to handle getting hurt.

Inadequacy- Another fear shared by many people is the feeling of not being good enough. If you feel like you don't measure up, you might become an underachiever. Often, they overcompensate for their fears by trying to be a perfectionist but remain plagued by thoughts that they just can’t prove their worth to other people.  The fear of inadequacy can be deep-rooted. While it's hard to face it head-on, you'll never succeed until you feel worthy of your success. They may pass up opportunities for a promotion or may decline an opportunity to lead a group because they worry that they’re inadequate.

Loneliness- The fear of loneliness can sometimes cause people to stay in bad relationships, or obsessively use social media to the extent that they miss out on making face-to-face connections. While it's smart to ward off loneliness, it's important to surround yourself with healthy social interactions. Learning how to tolerate feeling lonely and finding ways to keep yourself company can help manage the fear of loneliness.

Loss of Freedom-A certain amount of this fear can be healthy, but it becomes a problem when it holds you back in life. For many people, the fear of the loss of freedom becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, someone who wants to live a free life might avoid getting a job with a steady income. Consequently, they might miss out on the freedom that comes with financial stability.
So it's important to consider what you're giving up when you fear to lose certain freedoms. Many people enjoy the freedom they have as a single person and as a result, they avoid serious relationships due to a fear that they won’t be able to tolerate the loss of the freedom. Although some loss of freedom does accompany a serious relationship, it’s important to balance independence with dependence and maintain some freedoms.

Rejection- Many people avoid things like meeting new people, or trying to enter into a new relationship because of the fear of rejection. Even individuals who are already married sometimes avoid asking their long-time spouse for something, imagining that the person will say no. Whether you're scared to ask that attractive person out on a date or to ask your boss for a raise, the fear of rejection could keep you stuck. While rejection stings, it doesn't hurt as much as a missed opportunity. Don’t let the fear of rejection hold you back. Do it anyway.

Something Bad Happening-It is an unfortunate and inevitable fact that bad things will happen in life. Sometimes, the fear of doom prevents people from enjoying life. You can't prevent bad things from happening all the time. Don't let that fear stop you from living a rich, full life that's also full of good things. When people constantly fear something bad happening, it often restricts their activities. They may avoid doing a lot of things or going to certain places due to an unrealistic fear that bad things may happen.

Uncertainty- There's no guarantee that doing something new will make life better. Staying the same is one definite way to stay stagnant. This fear can prevent people from trying new things or doing things differently from the way they’ve always been done. Whether you're afraid to accept a new job or afraid to move to a new city, don't let the fear of uncertainty hold you back.  They often worry, “What if I don’t like it?”

“Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears.” (Rudyard Kipling)[i]



[i] Sources used:

·        “The 5 Fears That Hold You Back From the Life of Your Dreams” By Whitney Anthony

·        “Top 10 Fears That Hold People Back in Life” by Amy Morin

·        “Top 10 Fears That Hold Us Back In Life” by Amy Morin

 

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