Night, Night, Sleep Tight

The United States Sleep Foundation discovered that 25% of couples (nationwide) do not sleep (together) in the same bed. Lack of proper sleep has a long list of bad results it can cause.

They include such things as poor concentration (in a variety of situations), grumpiness (with the mood and attitude), reduction in the sex drive, fogginess with the memory, reduces cognitive functioning, weight gain, contributes to diabetes and high cholesterol, impacts heart health, and causes a negative physical appearance (dark eye circles, fine lines, ages skin, and makes skin lack luster).

My daughter, Allena, and I have struggled with sensitive hearing issues since we were elementary-age children. Colds, sad movies, and funerals all have one exasperating side effect for Allena.  Sniffling tends to make irritated (as she wants to flee from the irritating source, which has been me many a time).

Snoring is a noise I can’t tolerate. As a young boy being trapped in a bedroom or a car with my deceased younger brother (Jim) once he fell asleep wasn’t one of my pleasant memories of him. By the time I escaped him, I wanted to scream.

As a married couple, Bobbi and I have struggled many a times with sleeping together in our marriage. We’ve decided to separate to later sleep together again in our comfortable king-size bed.

Recently, the subject came up again due to a snoring canine that (Chico) sleeps with us due to my daughter’s absence six month absence to Youth with a Mission in Akron, OH, and a wife (Bobbi) whose deep breathing noises (and occasional light snoring) have become more intense since bariatric surgery in August of 2014.

Everything in me disagreed with the permanent solution (at least now) my head knew that had to happen (while my heart boldly disagreed). Bobbi isn’t happy with my choice, which she feels doesn’t encourage our marriage that has floundered at times.

Bobbi sleeps in our room on the basement level. (No longer does she have worry about me nudging her to turn over, or yelling at Chico to stop the snoring (one of the three Chihuahuas that sleeps with us in our bedroom).

With my adoring canine buddy Lola, I now sleep alone on the top floor across from Allena’s current room on the back side of our house (used to be our master suite). My sleeping room (located on the front side of our residence) used to be Allena’s old bedroom, but currently holds storage stuff. (I will make it my own straightened-up bedroom in the near future if this choice of mine remains permanent.)

Prominent features of this very small room include the colorful daisies and hearts Bobbi and I stenciled all over the walls. When the room is dark at night, one can see the twinkling stars I put on the ceiling for my imaginative, rambunctious off spring.

I need no ear plugs to blot out noises here because silence is the norm. I’m feeling more rested. I’m sleeping through the night except for the bathroom run which occurs around 3am, (and is typical for men in their fifties).

No matter your years together as a couple, if you struggle with this issue, please do me a favor. If your problem involves snoring have the offending person be tested for sleep apnea (a sleep disorder where breathing stops and starts continuously) before taking the drastic action of room separation (which may not be a good solution for you). Sleep apnea has some very user-friendly solutions.

If room separation seems to be the right solution for the both of you, be assured that this unpopular choice says absolutely nothing as to your love and devotion for your partner.

(If you are separating because of marital disagreements, the both of you need counseling.) Be assured a variety of couples have needed to make this tough choice. Chances are many of them are now better rested and functioning at an optimal in life.

Right now, you can do what needs to be done if it’s required. The Bible tells us, “Hard and honest work earns a good night’s sleep…” Ecclesiastes 5:12 (MSG) Here’s to you getting a rejuvenating night’s rest.