Attention seeking behavior is quite simply
doing things that are likely to get others to notice you. The problem with
attention seekers is that it’s often hard to figure out how to deal with them. Attention
seeking friends can be a problem for a number of reasons. They’re needy, often
embarrass themselves (and you), and don’t understand your boundaries. It’s
their insecurity and attention seeking behavior that causes the social
difficulties they struggle with.
Have you ever made a statement to someone just to see someone’s reaction? Even if their response is negative or angry, it feels good to be noticed. People learn attention-seeking behaviors out of fear. Why is attention seeking behavior such a poor choice in handling your need for attention? It's because this behavior puts a strain on the other people in your life.
Someone that is emotionally mature will receive all the validation they need for their self-confidence during their lives. Attention-seeking behavior can be a symptom of a mental disorder or a form of manipulation. If your life is all dramatic ups and downs with no plateaus, it might be worth stepping back and seeing why you need all this attention. Below are the types of attention-seeking behavior:
Fishing for Compliments-True compliments is
the kind that is given without being asked for. And if you feel confident about
yourself and put effort into your work, relationships, and self, you're likely
to get true compliments as often as anyone else does. Some people, however,
feel deep insecurity about who they are.
Often, insecurity leads to trying to
buff up your self-esteem by trying to point out your good qualities to someone
else rather than letting them notice on their own. Most of us fish for
compliments at some point or another, and it's not always a sign of low
self-esteem. It is a problem when you need to hear from someone else that
something about you is "good" to feel good about yourself.
Always ill-One way of getting attention is to feign illness or to play on an existing one. We learn from a very early age that as soon as we injure ourselves, we get an immediate and soothing reaction from our parents. In some extreme cases, people have been known to severely injure themselves in order to gain attention.
It is
completely natural to feel sorry for someone who is suffering and to comfort
them, making them the focus at that time. This is a powerful feeling for some
people. Gaining sympathy is almost the same as getting attention. So for a
person who is more of an introvert than an extrovert, they will
employ subtler means of getting attention, no hysterics from them.
Instead, they’ll feign illness so that others are always at a disadvantage.
Busy Bee-Have you got a friend that is
always the busiest person on the planet? No matter how much you have to
do, she or he is always inundated with tasks? They haven’t got a moment to
themselves and they wish they had an easy life like you? This kind of
attention-seeking behavior is more of a put down to others, as it clearly states,
in a passive-aggressive
way – ‘I’m far more important than you
because I am always busier than you.’
Hysterical Behavior-This sort of
behavior is typified by histrionic outbursts with emotional reactions to
anything and everything. The outbursts will be over-exaggerated and tend to be
melodramatic, loud and over-the-top. People who are hysterical will anger at
the slightest provocation and be inappropriate in situations. This sort of
behavior is used as a manipulation technique as it immediately focuses
everyone’s attention onto the hysterical person giving them the attention they
need.
Indispensable Friend-These types of
people prey on the vulnerable and insert themselves into other people’s lives, becoming
indispensable to the point where they bask in the glory of their special friend
status. As the vulnerable
person
begins to lean on them more and more so do the opportunities for exploitation.
If the vulnerable manages to get them free, then the indispensable friend
will become resentful and disrespectful. This technique is used to manipulate
as it elevates the attention-seeking person’s status above all others as they
make themselves the most important person around.
Munchausen Syndrome
by Proxy (MSBP)-A known
psychological disorder, but a frightening one. A person suffering MSBP will get
attention by harming someone and then stepping in at the last moment and saving
them. In this way, they get all the glory and ‘superhero’ status that is
afforded after the rescue. Mothers, in particular, are susceptible as are
nurses and firefighters, anyone that has a job that involves responsibility for
the public. This is a particularly worrying disorder as it can prove to be
fatal. For someone with attention-seeking behavior, however, it is addictive and all-consuming.
The attention they receive by being close to the action is exactly what they’ve
needed all their lives.
Plays the Victim-Do you know someone
that just seems to have the worst luck ever? This is not a person that has
actually suffered from a crime or terrible life event, but a person that uses the status of victimhood to
elevate themselves above others. This person will view
everything as a negative experience and believe they are being deliberately
chosen. If one problem is solved then expect another to happen soon afterwards.
Used to manipulate, a person who always plays the victim will drain energy
from people around them and use other’s sympathy as a barrier to the truth
about them.
“I'm terribly attention-seeking. It's very
different once you get all this attention, though. Because then you want to
control it. And you can't exactly.” (David
Walliams) [i]
[i] Sources
used:
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