The first word in the above passage is “Father.” While it is fathers who are addressed here, most commentators acknowledge that it is fair to see these instructions as being written also to mothers. Fathers can cause a child to become irate. They know this. I think we can go a step further to say there are times when our children are reasonable in their anger towards us. There may be times when your children’s anger toward you is more justified than your actions or attitude toward them.
A discouraged child is one who has lost heart. He is so beaten down that he has also lost hope, motivation, and doesn’t care anymore. It is possible that you beat down your child emotionally so that they stop trying to please you. Maybe your demands are unfair. Maybe you never praise your child and take joy in them. Maybe you live hypocritically before them with higher expectations for them than for yourself.
You need to correct your child in a variety of ways sometimes with a look, a word, a timeout, and maybe even a spanking. That is the negative side of fathering. But positively, you also need to teach them what is right. Today, more fathers are experiencing the satisfaction and reward of taking a more active role in the life of their child. Below are simple ideas that can impact you’re a father relationship and their child's future:
Be a
Role Model-Fathers are role models to their kids whether
they realize it or not. A girl who spends time with a loving father grows up
knowing she deserves to be treated with respect by men. Fathers can teach sons what is
important in life by demonstrating honesty, humility, and responsibility.
Be a Teacher-Too often we think
teaching is something others do at a school building. A father who teaches his child
about right and wrong, and encourages them to do their best, will see his child
make good choices. Involved
fathers use everyday examples to help their child learn the basic lessons of
life. Consider the vital knowledge only a father possesses.
Discipline with Love-All a child needs is discipline
and guidance not as punishment, but to set reasonable limits. Remind your child
of the consequences of their actions and provide meaningful rewards for
desirable behavior. Fathers
who discipline in a calm and fair manner show love to their child.
Eat Together As a Family-Sharing a meal
together can be an important part of healthy family life. In addition to
providing some structure on a busy day, it gives children the chance to talk
about what they are doing and want to do. It is also a good time for fathers to listen. Most
importantly, it is a time for families to be together each day.
Listen First and Talk Second-All too often the
only time a father speaks to his child is when they are getting in trouble.
That's why many a child may cringe when their mother says, "Your father
wants to talk with you." Take
time and listen to your child's ideas and problems. Listening helps them feel
respected and understood. Begin listening and talking with
your kids when they are young so that difficult subjects will be easier to
handle as they get older.
Read to Your Child-In a world where
television and technology dominates the lives of a child, it is important that
fathers make the effort to read to their child. A child learns best by doing
and reading as well as seeing and hearing. Read to your child when they are
very young. When they are older, encourage them to read on their own. Instilling your child with a love for
reading is one of the best ways to ensure they will have a lifetime of
growth.
Realize a Father's Job Is Never Done-Even after child is
grown and ready to leave home they will still look to their fathers for wisdom
and advice. Whether it’s continued schooling, a new job or a wedding, fathers continue to play an essential
part in the lives of their child as they grow, and perhaps marry and build
their own families.
Respect Your Child's Mother-One of the best
things you as a father can do for your child is to respect their mother. If you
are married, maybe this goes without saying, but I'll say it just in case; keep
your marriage strong and healthy. If you're not married, it's still important
to respect and support the mother of your child. A father and mother who
respect each other, and let their child know it; provide a secure environment
for the child. When
child see their parents respecting each other, they are more likely to feel
they are also accepted and respected.
Show Affection-A child needs the
security that comes from knowing they are wanted, accepted, and loved by their
family. Fathers, get comfortable hugging your child. Showing affection every day is the
best way to let your child know that you love them.
Spend Time with Your Child-This is more
complicated that is sounds. How a father spends his time tells his child what's
important to him. If you always seem too busy for your child, they will feel
neglected no matter what you say. Treasuring a child often means sacrificing
other things, but it is essential to spend time with your child. A child grows up so quickly. Missed
opportunities are lost forever.
“Dads are like chocolate chip cookies. They
may have chips or be totally nutty, but they are sweet and make the world a
better place especially for their children.” (Hillary Lytle) [i]
[i] Sources used:
·
“10 Ways to Be a Better Dad” by Melissa Steward
·
“Fathers (and
Mothers), Do Not Provoke Your Children!” by Tim Chailles
If a father has more
than one child, substitute the word children for child. This post could also be
used for grandfather or great grandfather and grandchildren (or great-grandchildren).
No comments:
Post a Comment