Body language is the nonverbal signals that we use to communicate our true feelings and emotions. It has been suggested that body language may account for 50 to 70 percent of all communication. Understanding body language is important, but it is also essential to pay attention to other cues such as context. In many cases, you should look at signals as a group rather than focusing on a single action.
When we are able to "read" these signs, we can use it to our advantage. It can help us to understand the complete message of what someone is trying to say to us, and to enhance our awareness of people's reactions to what we say and do. We can also use it to adjust our own body language so that we appear more positive, engaging and approachable. Here are ways to interpret anyone’s body language:
Facial Expressions- Think for a moment about how much a person is able to convey with just a facial expression. A smile can indicate approval or happiness. A frown can signal disapproval or unhappiness. In some cases, our facial expressions may reveal our true feelings about a particular situation. While you say that you are feeling fine, the look on your face may tell people otherwise.
Just a few
examples of emotions that can be
expressed via facial expressions include: happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, disgust, fear,
confusion, excitement, desire, and contempt. The expression on a person's face
can even help determine if we trust or believe what the individual is saying.
One study found that the most trustworthy facial expression involved a slight
raise of the eyebrows and a slight smile. This expression, the researchers
suggested, conveys both friendliness and confidence.
Facial
expressions are also among the most universal forms of body language. Research
even suggests that we make judgments about people's intelligence based upon
their faces and expressions. One study found that individuals who had narrower
faces and more prominent noses were more likely to be perceived as intelligent.
People with smiling, joyful expression were also judged as being more
intelligent than those with angry expressions.
The Eyes- The eyes are frequently referred to as the
"windows to the soul" since they are capable of revealing a great
deal about what a person is feeling or thinking. As you engage in conversation
with another person, taking note of eye movements is a natural and important
part of the communication process. Some common things you may notice include
whether people are making direct eye contact or averting their gaze, how much
they are blinking, or if their pupils are dilated. When evaluating body
language, pay attention to the following eye signals:
- Eye gaze:
When a person looks directly into your eyes while
having a conversation, it indicates that they are interested and paying attention.
However, prolonged eye contact can feel threatening. On the other hand,
breaking eye contact and frequently looking away might indicate that the
person is distracted, uncomfortable, or trying to conceal his or her real
feelings.
- Blinking: Blinking
is natural, but you should also pay attention to whether a person is
blinking too much or too little. People often blink more rapidly when they
are feeling distressed or uncomfortable. Infrequent blinking may indicate
that a person is intentionally trying to control his or her eye movements.
For example, a poker player might blink less frequently because he is
purposely trying to appear unexcited about the hand he was dealt.
- Pupil size:
Pupil size can be a very subtle nonverbal
communication signal. While light levels in the environment control pupil
dilation, sometimes emotions can also cause small changes in pupil size.
For example, you may have heard the phrase "bedroom eyes" used to
describe the look someone gives when they are attracted to another person.
Highly dilated eyes, for example, can indicate that a person is interested
or even aroused.
The Mouth-
Mouth
expressions and movements can also be essential in reading body language. For
example, chewing on the bottom lip may indicate that the individual is
experiencing feelings of worry, fear, or insecurity. Covering the mouth may be
an effort to be polite if the person is yawning or coughing, but it may also be
an attempt to cover up a frown of disapproval.
Smiling is
perhaps one of the greatest body language signals, but smiles can also be
interpreted in many ways. A smile may be genuine, or it may be used to express
false happiness, sarcasm, or even cynicism.
When evaluating body language, pay attention to the following mouth and lip signals:
- Pursed lips:
Tightening the lips might be an indicator of
distaste, disapproval, or distrust.
- Lip biting:
People sometimes bite their lips when they are
worried, anxious, or stressed.
- Covering the mouth:
When people want to hide an emotional reaction, they
might cover their mouths in order to avoid displaying smiles or smirks.
- Turned up or down: Slight
changes in the mouth can also be subtle indicators of what a person is
feeling. When the mouth is slightly turned up, it might mean that the
person is feeling happy or optimistic. On the other hand, a slightly
down-turned mouth can be an indicator of sadness, disapproval, or even an
outright grimace.
Gestures-Gestures can be some
of the most direct and obvious body language signals. Waving, pointing, and
using the fingers to indicate numerical amounts are all very common and easy to
understand gestures. Some gestures may be cultural, however, so giving
a thumbs-up or a peace sign in another country might have a completely
different meaning than it does in the United States. The following examples are
just a few common gestures and their possible meanings:
- A clenched fist can
indicate anger in some situations or solidarity in others.
- A thumbs up and thumbs down are
often used as gestures of approval and disapproval.
- The "okay" gesture,
made by touching together the thumb and index finger in a circle while
extending the other three fingers can be used to mean "okay" or
"all right." In some parts of Europe, however, the same signal
is used to imply you are nothing. In some South American countries,
the symbol is actually a vulgar gesture.
- The V sign
created by lifting the index and middle finger and separating them to
create a V-shape, means peace or victory in some
countries. In the United Kingdom and Australia, the symbol takes on an
offensive meaning when the back of the hand is facing outward.
The Arms and Legs- The arms and legs can also be useful in
conveying nonverbal information. Crossing the arms can indicate defensiveness.
Crossing legs away from another person may indicate dislike or discomfort with
that individual. Other subtle signals such as expanding the arms widely may be
an attempt to seem larger or more commanding while keeping the arms close to
the body may be an effort to minimize oneself or withdraw from attention. When
you are evaluating body language, pay attention to some of the following
signals that the arms and legs may convey:
- Crossed arms might
indicate that a person feels defensive, self-protective, or closed-off.
- Standing with hands placed on
the hips can be an indication that a person
is ready and in control, or it can also possibly be a sign of aggressiveness.
- Clasping the hands behind the
back might indicate that a person is
feeling bored, anxious, or even angry.
- Rapidly tapping fingers or
fidgeting can be a sign that a person is
bored, impatient, or frustrated.
- Crossed legs can
indicate that a person is feeling closed off or in need of privacy.
Posture-
How
we hold our bodies can also serve as an important part of body language. The
term posture
refers to how we hold our bodies as well as the overall physical form of an
individual. Posture can convey a wealth of information about how a person is
feeling as well as hints about personality characteristics, such as whether a
person is confident, open, or submissive.
Sitting up
straight, for example, may indicate that a person is focused and paying
attention to what's going on. Sitting with the body hunched forward, on the
other hand, can imply that the person is bored or indifferent. When you are
trying to read body language, try to notice some of the signals that a person's
posture can send.
- Open posture involves
keeping the trunk of the body open and exposed. This type of posture indicates
friendliness, openness, and willingness.
- Closed posture involves
hiding the trunk of the body often by hunching forward and keeping the
arms and legs crossed. This type of posture can be an indicator of
hostility, unfriendliness, and anxiety.
Personal Space- Have you ever heard
someone refer to their need for personal space? Have you ever started to feel
uncomfortable when someone stands just a little too close to you? The term proxemics, coined by anthropologist Edward T.
Hall, refers to the distance between people as they interact.
Just as
body movements and facial expressions can communicate a great deal of nonverbal
information, so can this physical space between individuals. It is also
important to note that the level of personal distance that individuals need to
feel comfortable can vary from culture to culture. Hall described
four levels of
social distance that occur in different situations:
- Intimate distance—
6 to 18 inches: This
level of physical distance often indicates a closer relationship or
greater comfort between individuals. It usually occurs during intimate
contact such as hugging, whispering, or touching.
- Personal distance—
1.5 to 4 feet: Physical distance at
this level usually occurs between people who are family members or close
friends. The closer the people can comfortably stand while interacting can
be an indicator of the level of intimacy in their relationship.
- Social distance—
4 to 12 feet: This
level of physical distance is often used with individuals who are
acquaintances. With someone you know fairly well, such as a co-worker you
see several times a week, you might feel more comfortable interacting at a
closer distance. In cases where you do not know the other person well,
such as a postal delivery driver you only see once a month, a distance of
10 to 12 feet may feel more comfortable.
- Public distance—
12 to 25 feet: Physical
distance at this level is often used in public speaking situations.
Talking in front of a class full of students or giving a presentation at
work is good examples of such situations.
“Since an attitude is often expressed by our body language and by
the looks on our faces, it can be contagious.” (John C. Maxwell) [i]
[i] Sources used:
·
“Body Language “by MindTools
·
“Understanding
Body Language and Facial Expressions” Kendra Cherry
This topic was suggested
by my wife.
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