There are many things in this world that attack someone’s self-esteem and sense of worth. Many teenagers and young adults are locked in their own personal jail of self-loathing. They desperately wanting to escape, but are unsure they can. So why do people hate themselves? Many people said it was their appearance, not feeling loved, and failing at a relationship. Caroline described her self-hate like this: “For a while I hated myself because I thought I wasn’t good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.”
Self-hate is a dark, black hole in our soul that can be easy to fall into, but difficult to get out of. It takes a real effort to turn negative self-defeating thoughts into positive life-changing ones. Cody wrote: “I’ve found that sometimes our greatest enemy is ourselves. And the way we think can hurt worse than any words. And when left with nothing but your own thoughts, and if those thoughts are negative, self hate is born.” Below are eight things to try in building up your self-respect:
1. Be Friendly. Friendly people are never miserable people. Brightening
someone’s day by being nice, will make you feel better about yourself.
2. Be responsible. Do the things you
need to do. Perhaps this seems too basic, but
it’s important. Take care of yourself. Brush your teeth, comb your hair, dress
nicely, eat what is good for you, etc. Don’t be lazy in these little things. Just
doing the responsible thing such as showing up to work on time will cause your
self-respect to skyrocket
3. Control your emotions. Learning how to handle your
emotions so you don’t cause yourself more regrets and more reasons to dislike
yourself is key. When we let our anger, hanger, hurt, jealousy, self-pity out
in an uncontrolled way, it only causes us to embarrass ourselves, destroy
relationships, and leads to low self-respect.
4. Don’t let anybody force you to be or
do anything you don’t want to do or be. There is an old saying that says, “To you, always be true.”
This doesn’t mean be selfish. It means not letting other people tell you what
to do or think or to push you around. What you think is important and worth
listening to and learning to stand up for what you believe will increase your
self-esteem.
5. Don’t lie. When you continually tell the
truth, you give yourself the priceless gift of a clear conscience.
6. Don’t violate your own moral codes. If you have a moral values that are
important to you stick to them. Many people who have violated their own moral
codes feel so guilty that they hate themselves for it. If you have violated
your standards, you will need to forgive yourself and move forward with new
commitment.
7. Hang around encouraging people. Hanging around negative people who
make you feel like you are never “good” enough either by what they say or how
they act is damaging to anyone’s self-esteem.
8. Increase your knowledge. Develop interests and passions.
Find a hobby. Learn as much as you can. Learning about things going on in the
world around you will help you speak intelligently to a wide variety of people
you meet. As you explore all the different opportunities this world has to
offer, you will learn more about what you personally have to offer back to the
people around you.
CONFESSION: “I don’t know if I’m getting
better, or [just] used to the pain.”[i]
[i] Sources used:
· “7 Signs That
Someone Hates Themselves” by Megan E.
Holstein
·
“Why Do People Hate Themselves?”by
Dawson McAllister
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