Do you work in an open cubicle? Does someone in a nearby cube talk too loudly on their phone, or talk to you nonstop? Are you (or do you know) a college student who could be in danger of sexual harassment violations? Do you have a roommate (a child or sibling) who “borrows” your clothes without asking, and returns them damaged (or not at all)? Do you have a neighbor who plays loud music late at night or mows the lawn early in the morning, or whose dog keeps digging up your flower garden or using your front yard as his toilet?
If any of these sound familiar, then you, like many other people all over the world, may be dealing with a need to protect your personal space. The term “personal space” generally refers to the physical distance between two people in a social, family, or work environment. Think of your personal space as the air between your body and an invisible shield, or bubble, you have formed around yourself for any relationship.
The distance between you and your comfort zone may vary from one person to another depending on your relationship to that person, and how much you trust him or her. In order to put others at ease, it's important to understand the importance of personal space. The general rules below may vary according to one’s culture, but they are here as a guideline for social etiquette:
·
Acknowledge personal space on the road. Don’t
tailgate when
driving.
·
Don’t allow your dog to go to the bathroom on
someone else’s property.
·
Don’t cut in front of people in line.
·
Don’t enter a room without knocking first.
·
Don’t fling your arm around someone’s
shoulder or slap anyone on the back unless you know the person very well.
·
Don’t reach for anyone else’s children
regardless of your intentions.
·
If you walk into an auditorium or theater
that isn’t crowded, leave an extra seat between you and the next person.
However, it is acceptable to sit next to someone if the room is crowded.
·
Never go through anyone else’s personal
belongings.
·
Never lean over someone else’s shoulder to
read something unless invited.
·
Never touch anyone you don’t know.
·
Stand at least 4 feet away from a person
unless you know him or her well.
·
When someone leans away from you, you are
probably in that person’s space that makes him or her uncomfortable. Take a
step back.
Observing boundaries in the office is important to maintaining professionalism. After working with people for years and getting to know them, these lines may have become blurred. Be aware of other people's reactions, and if they seem uncomfortable, add more space between you. Here are work guidelines that may help:
·
Avoid hugging or other familiar gestures.
·
Be aware of company policies regarding relationships
with coworkers.
·
Don’t assume your relationship with a
coworker or supervisor is personal.
·
Only step into someone’s workspace if you
know you are welcome. Be respectful if you sense the person is busy.
·
Save personal
conversations for the lunch break or after hours.
When someone gets uncomfortably close to you, there are several things you can do. Keep in mind that being direct may hurt the other person’s feelings so before speaking your mind determine whether or not the issue is worth bringing up. Here are some ways to deal with personal space intrusion:
·
Accept it.
·
Come right out and say you are uncomfortable
being so close.
·
Explain
why you need more space.
·
Lean
away from the person or take a step back hoping he or she will
take the hint.
“Small towns are sometimes like
that; familiarity runs high, while regard for personal space is low if
nonexistent.” (Laurie Notaro) [i]
[i] Sources used:
·
“5
Ways to Protect Your Personal Space” by F. Diane Barth
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