Friday, February 15, 2019

Painful

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong.”  (Mandy Hale )

If you are feeling stuck in life, you're in good company. Sometimes it feels as if you simply cannot move on in life. Sometimes, we have no idea how to break free from the limitations that are imposed upon us. What is worse, we do not even know what it is that imposes these limitations on us. It’s quite scary to be confronted with an invisible obstacle you cannot seem to tackle.

Many people who report that they’re feeling overwhelmed, confused or stuck in a rut are in many cases quite talented, intelligent and ambitious. Various brilliant people found themselves stuck in life ranging from Albert Einstein to Walt Disney. These prominent examples show us that people who are feeling stuck in life still have the potential to accomplish a great deal in life if they are able to overcome what is holding them back.

It doesn’t matter what obstacle is blocking your progress. What matters is that you learn to move forward despite being confronted with challenges. You have all the power you need to take the necessary steps to unlock your barriers. Breaking free from whatever holding you back is always a choice. There are a variety of highly efficient tactics and powerful tricks you can use to free yourself from being trapped:
Face your fears-Fear prohibits us from making any further progress in life. We’re afraid of the unknown, which is why we (unconsciously) sabotage our own development. We learn to accept the situation we find ourselves in. It simply seems more comfortable to remain where we are than to move on. We allowed fear to stop our progress in life.

If we want to get unstuck, it’s important to change how we perceive our fears. We might not be able to stop being afraid of that which is to come, but we can learn to control our fears:

·        Acknowledge your fears, but do not allow them to limit you.

·        Seek to confront that which you are afraid of.

·        Running away from your fears will most likely make things worse.

·        Keep pushing forward in spite of your fears.

·        Don’t allow your fear of losing what you have to stop you from moving on.

·        Be not afraid of the work and time it takes to affect change.

·        Feel your fear and do it anyway.

Break your routine-Developing a routine can be quite beneficial. It helps you to keep moving when the going gets tough. The development of habits will aid you to do quite complex things with the greatest ease. As such, routines provide you a fundament and structure you can work with.

While it’s certainly true that routine is helpful, it can also limit your progress in life. It can develop into restrictive rules and obligations difficult to break. Yet, we willingly abide these rules, because they give us a sense of security and control.
Moving on in life, however, requires us to break the existing structures from time to time. Breaking the rules gives us the opportunity to explore something out of the ordinary. It helps us to discover something new, surprising and exciting.

·        Expand your horizon. Do something new every day.

·        Avoid time-wasting and mindless routines. They prohibit your progress.

·        Routinely break your routine. Make it a habit of exploring the unknown.

Effect change one step at a time-If you’re feeling stuck in life, it’s important to overcome that which prevents you from moving forward. This might sound simple in theory, but it can become quite a struggle in real life. In fact, most people get overwhelmed by their attempts to break free from a rut. To them, it will seem as if they do everything they can, without ever accomplishing something. Just don’t be too hard on yourself. Try to stick to one problem until it is solved. This way you can affect positive changes in your life step-by-step.

Overcome the perception of impossibilities-If every solution you can think of seems impossible to accomplish, you’ll get even more stuck. It’s an overwhelming situation. On one hand, you want to do something to affect change. On the other hand, everything that comes to mind seems unrealistic or impossible. As a result, you’re being pulled apart by multiple options that do not seem helpful to you.

As you can see, our thinking patterns can greatly contribute to the feeling of being stuck. If we think every option we have is impossible, no progress can be made. It’s our inflexibility what keeps us stuck. We might over think the situation in our desperate attempt to maintain control over our life.

Instead of getting trapped by these thinking patterns, try to explore your options. It’s very likely that you already know a lot of directions you could move in. If that’s the case, try to find the one solution that you like the most and commit to the decision.

Be honest with yourself-If we do want to break free from being stuck, it’s necessary to be honest with ourselves. Astonishingly, we almost always have the answer within ourselves. It might take some time to discover it, but it’s always there. The problem is that we do not act upon this knowledge. We prefer to keep this answer locked within ourselves.

Have the courage to at least think about the possible solution. It might be challenging to even consider acknowledging that you took a wrong path in life. But ultimately, it might prove to be better than suffering from this decision for the rest of your life.

Change your perspective-Often times, we get stuck in life because we do not allow ourselves to become who we want to be. Instead, we adapt to the role various people expect us to play. We do not like it, but deep down we are convinced that it’s impossible to realize these dreams.

Stop walking the same path you’ve always chosen. Explore new perspectives by taking other paths. Ask yourself what your real goals are. Explore what you’re passionate about. Discover what it is that truly energizes you. Find your true purpose in life. Challenge yourself to have a vision for your life.

Differentiate between feeling and fact-You feel as if you’re stuck in life. Therefore, you conclude that you cannot move on. Sometimes, however, our emotions might not be telling the (entire) truth. The inability to get unstuck may feel very real, but in the end, it’s just a feeling. And this very feeling creates our perception of the situation.

For this reason, it’s important to remind yourself that feelings are not facts. Try to look at your situation more objectively. Emotional responses might cloud your perception of reality. Feeling stuck in life could be a response to exaggerated expectations or mere fantasies.

Avoid blaming others-It’s relatively easy to blame others when we feel stuck. While this is a great strategy to maintain peace of mind, it will contribute nothing to the solution of your problem. In the worst case, blaming others will get you even more stuck.

Even though you’d like to find an external cause for your situation, try to seek that cause within yourself first. Try to take control over your life by not seeking the fault for your problems in others.

Stop comparing yourself to others-While it’s a natural tendency to compare yourself to other people, it’s not the best thing to do. While we think we compare ourselves in an objective manner, quite the contrary is the case. Our measures are superficial and unfair. In most situations, we take our weakest spots and compared these with people who are above-average in this area.

Stop making excuses-Do not allow excuses to keep you right where you are. Stop trying to rationalize why you can’t get on with your life. Don’t focus on all the different reasons that keep you stuck. Shift your attention to what needs to be done to effect positive change.
Be grateful for what you have-Developing the habit of being grateful can help you to ease the feeling of being stuck. It helps us to rediscover what is beautiful about our life. Gratitude can also enable us to find what makes our life worth living. As a positive side effect, we spent a lot less time chasing evermore. Instead, we learn to find joy and fulfillment in everything we already have. Stay victorious.

“Being stuck in the past is like walking forward with your back facing the front. You’ll always miss out on what’s in front of you.” (ILiketoQuote.com) [i]



[i] Adapted from  Feeling Stuck in Life? 10 Powerful Ways to Free Yourself” By Steve Mueller

I'm struggling with this right now in my life. I reread this post to take my own advice.
 

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