When a couple needs to consider the end of a marriage, the truth is that there are a variety of ways that can be accomplished. If you and your spouse find yourself at that crossroads in your life, it’s important to get familiar with the terms discussed below so the correct, least painful choice can happen for both of you:
1.
A
divorce
definitively concludes a marriage. In a divorce proceeding, one party petitions
the court to dissolve the marriage contract and assign property, support,
custody and visitation orders that are permanent. Once the final divorce decree
is signed by a family court judge, you are no longer married though you may
still have some relationship with and obligations to your former spouse.
Divorce decrees have the force of a court order, and parties may be found in
contempt of court if they do not abide by the terms of the agreement.
States
vary in their requirements for granting a divorce, but most allow so-called
"no-fault" divorces. In these proceedings, it's enough for one party
to assert that the marriage is no longer acceptable due to irreconcilable
differences. Depending on the state, you
may have to pass through a trial separation before the final decree is granted,
or you may have to wait for a cooling-off period of six months or so.
Depending
on your circumstances, the court may order you to transfer property to your
spouse, split the family's debts, pay a fixed amount of alimony and/or child
support, or to abide by a custody order that determines where the children live
and who will make the decisions regarding their care. In addition to all of
that, the court may impose secondary orders that are just as binding, such as a
requirement that neither party speak ill of the other within earshot of the
children or a protective order in the case of domestic violence accusations.
2.
A
legal separation is often done prior to a divorce especially
if one wants a divorce while the other one doesn’t. It can also be used when
someone feels strongly against divorce for whatever reason (mainly religious
ones). Separated couples are still married, and they may carry on living in the
same house together, but a separation order may settle a few contentious issues
before the divorce proceedings.
It may speed up the process when the time comes
to split for good. One often-overlooked advantage of a legal separation is that
by acting as a sort of mini-divorce it may give the couple a chance to
reconcile and call the whole thing off without going all the way through the
divorce process.
Though
a separated couple is not properly divorced, the agreement formalizing the
arrangement may include support orders so that one party has to pay child
support or even send a monthly alimony check to the person they're still
married to. Like the divorce decree, the separation orders may include extra
clauses such as an injunction not to take on any more shared debt or to allow
for dating other people without treating such relationships as adultery.
In
community property and no-fault divorce states, these terms may not be very
important, but it's a good idea to get a formal arrangement of some sort during
a separation, even if the two of you are still working on reconciliation. As
you're negotiating terms for your separation, remember that the court will not
necessarily be bound by prior agreements if it comes to divorce. If you and
your spouse agree that no alimony should be paid during the separation, it may
still come up as an issue in a divorce.
For the custody and visitation arrangements
you've reached, though most courts are loath to interfere with any reasonable
terms two parents have agreed on in advance. A legal separation is also taken
through the court system even if both parties decide to stay married. The two
will live separately and divide up their assets as well as come up with a
solution for the children even if they don’t want to get divorced.
3.
Annulments are common with those who have recently
gotten married, though they can be used if the marriage was not legal (because
one person was still married). There are some religions which allow annulments,
though they won’t allow divorces. Annulments are a special kind of dissolution
in which the marriage contract is not dissolved, but voided as if it had never
existed.
This is an unusual way to end a marriage, but it may be the best
option in many cases. Requirements vary between states, but annulments almost
always require one party to prove that the marriage would not have happened if
the relevant facts had been known at the time.
One
example of this is fraud. If your spouse can be shown to have materially
misrepresented him or herself in some way, then an annulment may be possible. A
fraudulent effort to earn residency or citizenship may also be grounds for
annulment in which case the person who did it may have to find another way to
legally remain in the country.
Your
marriage may also be annulled if you can make the case that you personally,
would not have agreed to the marriage if you had been in possession of certain
information. If your spouse was not honest about his or her inability to have
sex, for example, or to bear children, and this was important to you, then an
annulment may be possible.
Other
grounds for annulment include marriage to a person who was a minor at the time
or to a person who misrepresented their health status or other important
details. For many, an annulment is a preferred way to dissolve a marriage. By
annulling a marriage, the court says that the marriage never occurred in the
first place.
. “Divorce
is so common and accepted in America that beating myself up over it may sound
ridiculous. But I was raised to believe that divorce wasn’t an option; to me,
divorce equaled failure. I wasn’t able to change that equation until I found
myself in the right relationship.” (Trisha Yearwood)[i]
[i] Sources used:
·
“Difference Between a Separation, an Annulment, and a Simple Divorce?”
by Lisa Ward
·
“The Difference
Between a Legal Separation, Divorce, Annulment, and Dissolution of a Marriage”
by Dungan and LeFevere
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