To
the Fatherless Daughters,
You're
not alone. I decided to write to girls without a father figure in their lives.
I've personally come to peace with my own situation, and learned some valuable
things from it. It’s the topic no one wants to talk about around you. If you
have "daddy issues," it's time to get help with that.
There
are studies on the "Effects on Women without a Father," or "The
Importance of a Father Figure in a Woman's Life." Realize such studies
don’t define you. You are what you make of yourself, and no one else is
responsible for who you are (except you). Challenge the "statistical
studies" that claim to shape who women are.
Women
like us created the word low self-esteem. We didn't have a father to hug us
before school and tell us we looked beautiful. We looked in the mirror and had
to believe it for ourselves, and we did. Father or not, the media, and our
society today make being a woman so high-maintenance and exhausting. Remember
you're worth, and walk with your head held high. You've gotten this far without
a father reassuring your worth. Why stop now?
A
father's love is something you simply can't replace. Make peace with the fact
that you don't have the constant affection of a father in your life. There’s
more to life than this. Your father alone does not have the power to make you
feel happy, complete, or independence as a woman. Only one you control your
emotions. Don't go searching to fill that hole in your heart with the affection
of a surrogate father figure. It will bring about disaster. Fill your life with
the love and strength you gain from those who care about you.
"Don't
Settle" is great advice for any female. If (or when) you find your life
partner, never lower yourself to someone who isn't quite right for all you are
(inside and out). Growing up without a
father sometimes makes it easier to have lower expectations for men. You
deserve the best.
Show
the world what you can do, and where you'll go. Don't be afraid to open up, and
vent about the fatherless daughter issue when you need to. In my Mother's
words, "Someday you will have a jewel in your heavenly crown for rising
above this part of your life."
Love,
Marissa
“Females
who lose their fathers to divorce or abandonment seek much more attention from men
and had more physical contact with boys their age than girls from intact
homes.” (Marissa Myer) [i]
[i] Adapted from: “A Letter to the Girls Who
Grew Up Without A Father Figure” by Marissa
Myer
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