Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Carefree

“Childhood should be carefree, playing in the sun; not living a nightmare in the darkness of the soul.”  (Dave Pelzer, the author of A Child Called "It")

Child abuse is seldom a single event. Rather, it occurs with regularity, often increasing in violence. It crosses all boundaries of income, race, ethnicity, and religious faith. The following statistics sadly verify the above statement is true:

1.      Approximately 5 children die every day because of child abuse.

2.      1 out of 3 girls and 1 out of 5 boys will be sexually abused before they reach age 18.

3.      90% of child sexual abuse victims know the perpetrator in some way. 68% are abused by a family member.

4.      In 2012, 82.2% of child abuse perpetrators were found to be between the ages of 18-44, of which 39.6% were recorded to be between the ages of 25-34.

5.      In the United States, more than 4 children die from child abuse and neglect on a daily basis. Over 70% of these children are below the age of 3.

6.      Boys (48.5%) and girls (51.2%) become victims at nearly the same rate.

7.      2.9 million cases of child abuse are reported every year in the United States.

8.      Children who experience child abuse and neglect are 59% more likely to be arrested as a juvenile, 28% more likely to be arrested as an adult, and 30% more likely to commit violence crime.

9.      About 80% of 21-year-olds who were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder.

10.  14% of all men and 36% of all women in prison were abused as children.

11.  Abused children are less likely to practice safe sex, putting them at greater risk for STDs. They’re also 25% more likely to experience teen pregnancy.

“The first step to make, in order to change the cycle of abuse, is to understand it and not ignore it.” The word “abuse” means “improper use.” Here are signs that a child could be suffering abuse:

 
1.      Neglect: failure to provide for a child’s physical needs
Signs: poor hygiene, and poor nutrition and health

2.      Physical abuse: any non-accidental injury to a child, including hitting, kicking, slapping, shaking, burning, pinching, hair-pulling, biting, choking, throwing, shoving, whipping, or paddling
Signs: recurring injuries that are unexplainable or have guarded and inconsistent explanations, injury in uncommon places, severe aggression, or withdrawal

3.      Sexual abuse: any sexual act between an adult and child, or the forced observation of sexual acts
Signs: excessive or age-inappropriate sexual curiosity, genital sores or pain, excessive withdrawal, or aggression

4.      Psychological abuse (emotional/mental): any attitude or behavior which interferes with a child’s mental health or social development, including yelling, screaming, name-calling, shaming, negative comparisons to others, and telling the child he is “bad, no good, worthless,” or “a mistake”
Signs: poor confidence and self-esteem, hiding eyes, developmental regression, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts or words, anxiety, or frequent stomachache or headache

5.      Medical Neglect: failure to provide needed medical care (This area of abuse is generally received as more controversial, considering arguments regarding rights to refuse medical services due to religious beliefs.)
Signs: major medical problems left untreated

How does one you deal with abuse when it’s suspected rather than witnessing it? Here are some things that can be done:

 
1.      Have a relationship of trust with your kids. If they feel like they can’t talk to you about other things, they will rarely tell you about abuse.

2.      Listen and believe. Don’t judge: One of the most hurtful things to a child is when that child discloses abuse and is not believed.

3.      Ask only four questions. Childhelp.org suggests that you ask only four questions and refrain from other questions to keep from leading the child or making them feel like they are being interrogated.

·         What happened?

·         Who did this to you?

·         Where were you when this happened?

·         When did this happen?

4.      Provide safety and reassure the child that it is not his or her fault. Do not send the child back into the battle zone, if you can help it. One of the most common complaints that abused children have is “______ should have kept me safe!”

5.      Take Action. Report the abuse to the police and to child protective services and let them investigate. You can make the report anonymously, if you would like.

6.      If you suspect abuse or if a child reports abuse to you, you become that child’s greatest advocate. As we listen and take appropriate action, we help that child to trust the world again as they release themselves from self-blame and doubt. We have the power to instill cycles of growth, rather than cycles of destruction

Research on child abuse suggests that religious beliefs can foster, encourage, and justify the abuse of children. When contempt for sex underlies teachings, this creates a breeding ground for abuse. (Mary Garden)[i]



[i] Sources used:

·        “11 Facts about Child Abuse” by dosomething.org

·        “What Is Child Abuse?” by Kids Matter Inc.

·        “5 Signs of Child Abuse” by Andy Smithson

·        “5 Things to Do When You Suspect Child Abuse” by Andy Smithson

 
Post inspired by a TV commercial on this topic.

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