NOTE: This is a fictional retelling of a Bible story. See the footnote at the bottom of the narrative for
the scripture passage that inspired this modern version of the biblical account.
Jonas was the music director at the church he
served at in Ladeesville, OH, the Johnson United Worship Center. One of his
weekly duties was to get the bulletin printed and folded for church every Sunday.
Looking at the sermon series the senior pastor was starting this Sunday didn’t
inspire him to greatness.
It was one of those secret sins he just
didn’t want to delve into right now at this point in his life and career. Jonas
thought this Sunday might be a perfect time for a fishing trip. His wife Jenny
would not be thrilled when she found out that he planned on playing hooky from church,
but at this point his assistant could do his job adequately. Jenny didn’t know
the real reason Jonas was playing hooky, and he didn’t care to tell her.
It was Saturday evening, and time to put his
plan into action. A courtesy call was made to the senior pastor telling her he
would not be there because he wasn’t feeling well. His assistant David was called to fill in
Sunday. As expected his wife, Jenny, gave a big opposing argument when she was
told he was taking a leisurely Sunday morning fishing trip at his favorite
location.
Jonas knew Jenny would not tattle on him to the
senior pastor, Rev. Carrie Harlon. Jenny did sense her husband of five years
was keeping a secret from her. She wondered why Jonas couldn’t be up front and
honest with her. Jenny wanted to trust Jonas completely.
When Jonas walked to his favorite fishing his
place on Sunday morning with all his gear, Jenny was still in bed. Today’s
sermon series was the reason ditching church. The series Carrie was beginning
today was called, “Secret Sins of the Mind.” Today’s topic was on Internet
pornography.
When Jonas had become a Christian and before
he’d married Jenny and entered the
ministry, God had helped him conquer drinking, profanity, and smoking. What his
wife and church did not know is that he viewed Internet porn on a regular
basis. As Jonas, sat, thought, and threw his fishing line into the water, he
was so glad a well-intentioned church member had recently shown him how to
clear the history on his computer every time he had an urge to view naked
women.
Jonas knew a men’s group met every week at a
local place in town that could help with his problem, but he couldn’t chance
the news getting back to Jenny or the Carrie. The group used male
accountability plus full disclosure to those wronged by the recipient’s issue.
If Jenny ever found out, about his
pornography problem, the tirade of emotions that would descend on him would be deadly.
Among Jenny’s emotions would be anger, betrayal, and feeling of her not being
woman enough for him.
Jonas
knew his lovely wife, and, that she would refuse to be in competition with his female
fantasies. Jonas loved Jenny too much for divorce to be her verdict. He had no
doubt his wife would consider it if she found out about his secret sin. Plus, his present employment at the church would
be over. Before Jonas realized what was happening, the biggest fish he’d ever seen started swallowing his fishing rod and taking him for a ride on the Lacy River fully clothed in his summer attire. Jonas could do little to keep the fish from eventually swallowing him.
In the stinky, dark stomach of the giant
fish, Jonas thought about his current issue. God had such a sense of humor.
This was the fish tale to end all fish stories, and he couldn’t tell the story
to his church family, or they would know why he was absent from church. In what
three hours according to his water proof, cell phone, the fish puked up his
fishing rod and him about a mile from his original fishing location. In more ways than one, it was past time to finally
come clean.
“It is pretty clear in the Bible story that
the whale swallowing Jonah wasn't meant as a punishment from God. It was God
saving him from drowning. So it was actually provision to give him a second
chance. The whale itself was the start of Jonah's second chance.” (Phil Vischer)
“If the Bible had said that Jonah swallowed the whale, I would
believe it.” (William Jennings Bryan)[i]
[i] Adapted from: All for One: The Towns of Ohio
CompleteTrilogy by Robert Kinker, Book Two: Chapter Twelve ”A Giant
Fish Tale” Jonah 1=-2:10
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