Tuesday, November 7, 2017

The Branches

“Like branches of a tree, we grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one. Each of our lives will always be a special part of the other's.”  (Anonymous)

Whether you're best friends or can't be in the same room without arguing, there's no question that you and your sibling(s) share a lifelong bond. People come and go, but your siblings are there through it all. By age eleven, most children have spent a third of their existence siblings. So it makes sense, that your siblings help mold the person you become. Below, are six ways they may influence you:

1.   Siblings are your earliest teachers: Siblings help each other learn how to navigate social situations. They provide daily practice in understanding the minds of others. Strong sibling bonds have been found to help kids successfully connect with their peers at school. And having a brother or sister of the opposite sex could even give you a boost in the dating world.

College students who had an opposite-sex sibling found it easier to make conversation with potential romantic partners.  If you are a girl with an older brother or a boy with an older sister, you should thank them for whatever romantic success you've had. Having a kind-hearted brother or sister could help your brain.

A 2014 study of three hundred and eighty-five preschoolers found that children in bigger families generally had lower vocabulary test scores (possibly because parents had less time to devote to each child). The gap was erased for those kids lucky enough to have cognitively sensitive older siblings.

2.   Siblings can cause depression: While it's natural for siblings to squabble, what you fought over could have major health implications. A 2012 study discovered that siblings who typically quarreled about issues of equality or fairness experienced higher levels of depression a year later; while siblings who fought over personal space had a greater risk of developing anxiety or low self-esteem.

Although this study focused on adolescents between ages twelve and fifteen, other research suggests that a troubled sibling relationship might have repercussions well into adulthood. Sibling conflict during childhood was found to increase the occurrence of major depression and use of mood-altering drugs in adults as old as 50.
A study observed two hundred and twenty-nine men over a thirty year period. It started when they were twenty. The study rated their sibling relationships based on how close they were (or weren't), and how much rivalry and conflict there was.

 At the beginning of the study, all of the men were considered to be in excellent mental health. By the time they were fifty, participants who'd had distant (or destructive) relationships with siblings when they were younger were significantly more likely to be depressed. Researchers found that this was the case whether or not the men had a family history of depression.

3.   Siblings can boost your happiness: It shouldn't come as a surprise that having a warm, conflict-free relationship with your siblings is a very good thing. Close sibling connections are frequently associated with lower levels of loneliness and depression, and higher levels of self-esteem.  In infancy, siblings turn to older siblings for comfort during times of stress.

 As they grow up, those bonds are crucial for helping siblings navigate through difficult life events like the shared ones of illness or death of a parent. There is a correlation between participants who said they had a happy relationship with their siblings and overall satisfaction with life.

4.   Siblings can influence your weight: While it's well known that obesity can run in families, siblings can play an important role when it comes to your waistline. In families in where the older child was obese, the younger child had a fivefold greater chance of also being obese (regardless of whether the parents were obese).

Younger siblings often tend to model their diet and lifestyle after older siblings. Kids who get a younger sibling before they reach first grade are less likely to become obese later on. This is because children with a younger sibling may be more physically active.

5.   Siblings could save your marriage: Believe it or not, being part of a big family may make you less likely to get divorced. A 2013 study of 57,000 Americans over a forty year period showed that for every sibling a person had their chances of getting a divorce decreased by 2%.

Having more siblings’ means more experience dealing with others, and that seems to provide additional help in dealing with a marriage relationship as an adult.

6.   Siblings shape your character: Birth order affects personality. There is evidence that you and your sibling may shape each other. Much has been written about de-identification, when two siblings (usually close in age) either consciously or unconsciously creates separate identities for themselves.

Through this process, siblings are thought to develop distinct attributes, and engage in different activities and behaviors in order to establish their unique identities within the family. For example, if your sister was a track star, you might have focused on academics.

If your brother was quiet and shy, maybe you made an effort to be more outgoing. De-identification is more common in families with two children. In families with three children, it's more likely to occur among same-sex siblings rather than opposite-sex siblings.

""The greatest gift our parents ever gave us was each other." (www.yourtribute.com)[i]



[i] Adapted from: “6 Ways Your Siblings Make You Who You Are” by Kathleen Mulpeter
Inspired by the October 2017 series on the Today Show called “Sisterhood”
 

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