Have you ever taken time to
think what makes you the unique individual that you are? How do both your
negatives and positives combine to give you the personality you currently own?
The value you place on yourself is the only type of worth
you can control. You
determine how outside factors influence your inner sense of worth. These are the
actions, judgments, and reactions of family, friends, and other people.
When
you base your self-worth on external sources, you tread down a risky path.
Unless you have a good relationship with yourself, you can either be your best
friend or your biggest enemy. Here are four ways to think about your
self-worth.
“I
finally believed it was actually a beautiful thing to be unique and to be
different.” (Chip and Joanna Gaines, authors of The Magnolia Story)
1.
Compare
yourself to no one: Defining your worth from outside
sources is a subconscious way of comparing yourself to specific standards set
by others. Comparison is a foolproof way of ignoring the awesome things you can
do. When you compare yourself to others, you’re measuring your worth by their terms. Your own terms are the only ones that matter.
They will matter to you longer than those of anyone else. Every person has
walked a different path to get where they are today.
This can be difficult when social media sites
provide a constant reminder of the achievements of others. Instead of measuring
your worth based on another person’s scale, concentrate on what is meaningful
to you. That could mean being balanced, being a kind person, or living your
faith.
2.
Embrace
your mistakes, and learn from them: It’s
normal for people to cringe at past blunders and faults. These mistakes elicit
feelings of shame. It depends on how you look at it. Though we can’t change the
past, we can control how we handle those mistakes. Mistakes are an opportunity
to ask these questions:
Why did I react that way?
Where did that comment come from?
What was my reasoning?”
Doing this gives you
a chance to catch yourself, and pinpoint where the mistake stemmed from. Our
life is full of opportunities. One can even say that life itself is one big
opportunity. Remember those personal standards? When you sweep up every chance
to grow and develop, you’ll be well on your way to meeting those terms. You’ll
be proud of yourself for the work you put in.
3.
Share your
journey with someone you trust: After
all this talk about focusing on one’s self, the thought of sharing seems
illogical. Offering compassion is a way of taking charge of positive
opportunities, and constructive use of those external sources. Reflect on why
you think you’re having difficulty and what you can do differently in a way
that works for you.
The more you voice
your worries, the more you are able to learn about yourself. It helps you delve
into your personal supply of morals. When you share yourself, you see yourself.
Regardless of where you are in life, it’s essential to remember that the quest
for self-worth never ends. There will always be room to learn more.
4.
Take
opportunities to develop yourself: It
can be tricky to find opportunities for development. Pay attention to what is
around you. For starters, read books and blogs on topics that are meaningful to
you. Seek out events, lectures, and workshops on subjects you care about. Find
time to practice a hobby, no matter how busy
you are. Meditate and reflect on what you’ve done
well, and continue to pave that path.
Whatever it is that
you decide to do; it will fuel your sense of self-worth. It’s always useful to
explore these aspects of yourself with the guidance of a therapist. For those who are
unable to meet a professional, make small goals. Write down each goal, and then
write down two to three direct actions you will take to achieve these goals.
Once you see that you can achieve the goals you set out for yourself, you can
gradually move on to tackling bigger goals because you have a wealth of
experience to draw from.[i]
“I
came to think of God as more of a gracious friend who was accompanying me on
this journey. [This is] a friend who wanted to carry my burdens and speak into my life, and
shape me into who I really was and who I would become.” (Chip and Joanna Gaines, authors of The Magnolia Story)
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| Chip and Joanna Gaines from their HGTV series called Fixer Upper |
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