“Wish good for those who do bad things to you. Wish them well, and do not curse them. If someone does wrong to you, do not pay him back by doing wrong to him. Try to do what everyone thinks is right. Do your best to live in peace with everyone.”
When it comes to emotionally protecting me, I am often
both the judge and jury with my words. I have got to be honest with you. The
above verses don’t set well with my high-drama personality. Romans 12:14,
17-18 (ICB) is asking me to go
against not being vulnerable in front of others by giving them the benefit of
the doubt as I swallow back the angry words I desire to let slip past my lips
into the open air.
If you want to be a
redemptive communicator, here are three rules that you need to follow:
1.
Always
recognize the war inside yourself, and through Satan. He is always focused on
undermining our confidence in our Heavenly Father, destroying our earthly
relationships, and ruining our godly witness to those outside the family of
God.
“Satan tries to limit
your praying because he knows your praying will limit him.” (Rick Warren)
2.
Completely resist giving into the
desires of a sinful angry nature (the flesh). Telling someone “what they need
to hear;” avoid using “never” and “always” statements; blame-shifting, and
bringing up past failures.
“The best time for
you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.” (Josh Billings)
3.
Seek reconciliation when you fail to
speak redemptively. God wants us to verbally bless and encourage others.
“You will know
that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the
power to wish them well.” (Lewis B. Smedes)
“You’re familiar
with the command to the ancients, ‘Do not murder.’ I’m telling you that anyone
who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder.
Carelessly call a brother ‘idiot.’ and you just might find yourself hauled into
court. Thoughtlessly yell ‘stupid!’ at a sister and you are on the brink of
hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill.“This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.” (Matthew 5:21-24, MSG)[i]
[i] Inspired by the sermon “Redemptive Communication: Rules
of Engagement” (installment three, final) Sunday, August 13, 2017 Elder
Ryan Edwards, CenterPoint Gahanna Church Gahanna, OH
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