Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Nowhere to Turn

I know how it feels to be bullied, and be the bully. I wanna change the way people feel, and I want to help those who have nowhere else to turn. I want to be the person I wish I would've had when I was down.” (Kendall, TN, age 16)

The long bullying list at school can include pushing, shoving, hitting, spitting, name calling, picking on, making fun of, laughing at, and excluding someone. Cyber bullying is when a child, preteen, or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies, or mobile phones.  Bullying can affect a victim for a lifetime, but following the tips below can put a stop to this vicious act.

ü Act with Awareness, Calmness, Respect, and Confidence:  Projecting a positive, assertive attitude means holding your head high, keeping your back straight, walking briskly, looking around, and having a peaceful face and body makes you less likely to be a victim.

“I have been bullied since third grade due to weight and looks. I have major depression, and sometimes cry till I fall asleep. I want to help others in my situation.”  (Jasmine, Houston, TX, age 15) 

ü Leave in a Powerful, Positive Way: Leaving an unsafe situation is often the wisest and most effective solution for getting away from trouble.

I'm fifteen years old, and I get bullied on a daily basis, [which] sucks. Every time I come home I cry my eyes out…My school is not doing anything to help. I have told them so many times… I’m starting to stand up…My family and I will be making a website about bulling and cyber bulling.” (Kayla, OH, age 15)

ü Set Boundaries About Disrespectful or Unsafe Behavior: Being cruel or hurtful is wrong whether it happens in person, via social media, by texting, online or in any other way. Set a good example by being thoughtful about what you say and do. Address immediately any prejudiced language or remarks.

“I am all for joining the movement because I too was bullied growing up and it still affects me today where I had basically shut everybody out.” (Janelle, KS, age 22)

ü Use Your Voice: Yelling and speaking up loudly calls attention to a bullying problem or any kind of unsafe behavior. 

“I have been bullied, and told I was a different gender. [I’ve] been told I’m gay even though I’m not. [I] have had pictures taken of me so that people can put them on social media for people to make fun of.” (Spencer, PA, age 12)

ü Protect Your Feelings From Name-Calling and Hurtful Behavior: Children and teens learning how to protect themselves from insults can prepare them to take charge of their emotional well-being in the future.

“I am made fun of by a kid in my English Language Arts (ELA) class, and it won't stop. He'll make comments about my hair and just overall be really rude to me. Please stop bullying.” (GhostCat, Pittsburgh, PA, age 13)


ü Speak Up for Positive Inclusion: Being left out for reasons that have nothing to do with behavior is a major form of bullying. It is important to realize that sometimes kids (and adults) avoid someone because of their hurtful or negative behavior.

In addition to getting adult help, a child or teen that is being excluded can practice asking to join in a game in a respectful, persistent, and confident manner.

“I care because I know exactly how it feels to get bullied. It’s not an easy thing to deal with…I want to help people with it.” (Israel, CA, age 15)

ü Be Persistent in Getting Help From Busy Adults: Children and teens who are being bullied need to be able to tell teachers, parents, and other adults in charge what is happening in the moment in a clear, calm, and persistent voice even if the adults are distracted, rude, or even if asking for help has not worked in the past.

“Bullying traumatized me into high school. I care because I now suffer from depression, anxiety, and body dysmorphia. I care because I will never make anyone feel the way those bullies made me feel. I care because every [one in] life is precious.” (Jana, IN, age 18)

ü Use Physical Self-Defense as a Last Resort: Children and teens need to know when they have the right to hurt someone to stop that person from hurting them. Before we teach people of any age how to fight, we first make sure they have been successful in practicing how to take action that will prevent and avoid most physical fights. Most of time, a child being more confident helps them to avoid being a victim. [i]

“I care because I was bullied when I was in [my third grade] class. It stopped when I was in [my fifth grade] class though. I'm a Muslim, and proud to be. Stop bullying me.” (Alaa, IE, age 11)

“I was a victim of bullying all throughout grade school. I was severely bullied. I felt small and not good enough. I had no friends, and I felt like an outcast. I'm currently in college. I just want to say, if you are struggling in grade school, and feel as if you're not good enough.

 

Just know that you are good enough and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Don't give up. You are special and one of a kind and no one can hurt you unless you let them. Next time you step in the halls of your school know that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent…I know it's hard to ignore them but just remember you are loved.”

(Monet, NY, age 24)




[i] The post was adapted from the following sources:
·       “Face Bullying With Confidence: Eight Kidpower Skills We Can Use Right Away” by Irene Van der Zande

·       “How to Stop Bullying at School” (www.girlshealth.gov)

Please note that all quotes in this post are from past and present bully victims.
 

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