If you are a man and haven’t been taking care of your intellectual, emotional, and spiritual development, you can be sure that this side of you is undeveloped. This is a list of features I feel a mature man must own (be or do):
1.
A real man must be fearless - Being fearless means admitting your fears (and going
beyond them). He has the courage to do things that frighten him when the
situation calls for it.
“Real men are sadly lacking in this world,
for when they are put to the test they prove worthless.” (Franz Liszt)
2.
A real man must be resilient - A man should be flexible and reliable at the same time. A
real man accepts his fate but doesn’t become a victim of it.
“You can't relate to a superhero, to a
superman, but you can identify with a real man who in times of crisis draws
forth some extraordinary quality from within himself and triumphs but only
after a struggle.”
(Timothy Dalton)
3.
A real man must live, speak and listen from the heart - A real man doesn’t hide his feelings and intentions. He
is not afraid to be gentle (nor afraid to be sad). He is in touch with his
emotions, and is able to express them. He has the courage to live his dream and
listen compassionately.
“It takes a strong man to accept somebody
else's children and step up to the plate another man left on the table.” (Ray Johnson)
4.
A real man must own his
anger - His anger has transformed into
masculine compassion. He can be angry, strong, decisive and courageous. His
anger is not a humiliating or destructive. The latter happens when a man is a
slave of his anger, that’s the anger of the coward trying to over compensate
his feelings of inferiority.
“If you want to be a real human being - a
real woman, a real man - you cannot tolerate things which put you to
indignation, to outrage. You must stand up. I always say to people, 'Look
around; look at what makes you unhappy, what makes you furious, and then engage
yourself in some action.” (Stephane Hessel)
5.
A real man must make
meaning - Try not to become a man of
success, but one of value. If you fill your days with doing something that pays
the bills but is essentially meaningless to you. You are wasting your precious
life. A real man works for the greater good of society (instead of for the
sake of his self image and clinging to an illusion of safety).
“Real men stay faithful. They don't have
time to look for other women because they're too busy looking for new ways to
love their own.”
(John F. Kennedy)
6.
A real man must be
responsible for who he is -
A real man is honest about where he on his journey. He knows his strengths and
his weaknesses, and is not ashamed of either. He knows where his work is, and
is willing to listen and learn from others.
“Men have an important role to play in
sending out the message that real men do not hurt or abuse their partners.” (Ian Somerhalder)
7.
A real man must be vulnerable - He is willing and able to reveal himself (even in the
midst of pain). He is vulnerable because he wants to be vulnerable. By opening up, he is continuously
practicing his courage. It’s his way of defeating his own cowardice.
“A real man's weapon is his mind.” (Rick Riordan)
8.
A real man must love
passionately - A real man does not shy away from
tenderness and intimacy. He aims for her heart with his love as she is his
queen.
“A real man loves his wife, and places his
family as the most important thing in life. Nothing has brought me more peace
and content in life than simply being a good husband and father.” (Frank Abagnale)
9.
A real man should be able to protect his family - When push comes to shove every man should be able to
defend his wife, children and honor. Just like we teach our children to swim to
prevent them from drowning a man should know at least enough basic fighting
skills so he can throw a punch in case of an emergency. He does not panic, is
not easily provoked, and has some strength and skills.
“A real man is happy and eager to live by
your rules, as long as he knows what the rules are and he's sure that abiding
by those rules will help keep the woman he loves happy.” (Steve Harvey)
10.
A real man must have
a sense of humor - A real man sees his own failures and flaws
and joke about that. He can uplift a tense situation with a joke, but he isn’t
the immature joker that abuses humor. A real man embraces life.
“The real man is one who always finds
excuses for others, but never excuses himself.” (Henry Ward Beecher)
11.
A real man must develop
his body, mind and spirit - A
real man has more to offer when he is healthy and present in the moment. Taking
care of his body makes him fit and strong, taking care of his mind makes him
clever and sharp; and taking care of his spirit makes him wise, warm and
compassionate. A real man knows that the love he spreads during his life is
immortal.
“A woman in the presence of a good man, a
real man, loves being a woman. His strength allows her feminine heart to flourish.
His pursuit draws out her beauty. And a man in the presence of a real woman
loves being a man. Her beauty arouses him to play the man; it draws out his
strength. She inspires him to be a hero.”(Stasi Eldredge)
12.
A real man must be authentic - In the end, a real man knows that he does all these
things because he’s a male. He is just trying to make the most of life and is
having fun while doing it. His sweat is honest. His heart is open. His back is
straight.[i]
“It takes a real man to live for God-a lot
more man than to live for the devil, you know? If you really want to live right
these days, you gotta be tough.” (Johnny Cash)
“I have my own
peculiar yardstick for measuring a man: Does he have the courage to cry in a
moment of grief? Does he have the compassion not to hunt an animal?
In his relationship
with a woman, is he gentle? Real manliness is nurtured in kindness and gentleness,
which I associate with intelligence, comprehension, tolerance, justice,
education, and high morality. If only men realized how easy it is to open a
woman's heart with kindness, and how many women close their hearts to the
assaults of the Don Juan’s.” (Sophia Loren) 
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